


Hodnes laik yuj (Elycia)

by Lexa_Griffin_T100



Category: Unspecified Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 50,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3622395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexa_Griffin_T100/pseuds/Lexa_Griffin_T100
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fan fic based on a fictional relationship between Eliza Taylor and Alycia Debnam-Carey.</p><p>Love can be difficult sometimes. Other times we are focus on make it even worst. What if two friends that work together start to feel something for each other but they are afraid of telling the truth and let those feelings go away? What if they fall in love? Could they be able to face the press, what the people think, what their families would say? Could they able to accept it and face whatever it takes? Love is love. Sometime it could be weakness, sometimes it could be strength. Will you join their ride? Just keep reading then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1 -Good and bad news-

Alycia POV

I wake up after an horrible nightmare. When I open my eyes I receive the sunlight right in the face, so I turn around and I try to think in some beautiful things, but suddenly, Eliza comes to my mind. I don't why this is happening lately. I'm doing anything and she appears. At first, it was only on my thoughts, but then I just say her name loud when I should't, and this is confusing me.  
I check my phone for the first time in the day. In the last days I tried to speak with her like five times, but she doesn't respond my messages. Maybe this is the reason why I'm thinking of Eliza the most time, because I'm worried.

I start to type another new text to her when I realize that I could seem like a stalker, so I delate every word I was writing and turn off the phone. She's just busy or relaxing somewhere with her friends. That's all.

“Good morning beautiful lady!” says Maia entering my room. “This is your royal breakfast” she looks at the tray she's carrying full of food.

“Woah” I respond and then I sit on my bed leaving her a space to sit.

“You're welcome”. Maia puts the tray in the middle of us and kiss my cheek before she sits. “So, this is our plan for today. We're leaving in less than an hour, you should put something cozy because you are going to walk a lot.”

“Am I?” I asked smiling and I catch a toast. 

“Oh yes. You need to leave this room and do something, Alycia. Since the photo thing you haven't put a feet in the street and I'm not gonna let that happen anymore”.

When she mentions about the photo it makes me a knot in the stomach. Is what she thinks? But, if I think it well, she's right. I have not even realized. Maia is right, I should go out and spending time in things that keep my mind far away from those comments and from Eliza.

“Alright, you win. Where are we going?”

Maia shows me her perfects teeth in a big smile and she bites an apple.  
“It's a secret, but I promise you'll like it”.

* * *  
And yes, I like it. Although we have been walking for hours, it was worth. Maia drove until the beach and then we walked along the sand talking about everything but at the same time about anything. Maia is a really good friend. She's always there for me, no matters the hour or the miles there are between us. She always has time to talk to me and make me smile, even in my worst days, that's why I love her so much. She distracted me the whole morning, and I have to be greatful, because I needed it, however, when I think that we are going to back home, she holds my hands and take me to the water.

“No. I'm not gonna take a bath, Maia, I told yo-” but I can finish the sentence. She push me laughing and I end in the sea. In the freezing water. “Okay, you wanted it” I grab her arm and pull her to me, so we both get wet.

“Okay, okay, I get it, revenger, but I'm not finishing today” she says and whistles.  
In a couple of minutes our friends show up with surfboards, a big cake and more things I can't watch from my position. I turn my head to Maia and I watch her super big smile in her lips. I know right now that something is going on that I'm totally missing.

“What's this? It's not my birthday.”

“I know it, sweetie, but what I have to tell you worths a celebration. Are you prepared?”  
I blink several times after saying yes, then Maia approaches me and whispers something I can't believe at the first time.

“Congrats, Aly, you are The 100 season 3. Australia is gonna miss you so much.”

* * *

They have to explain to me another time. My manager called Maia to tell her the news because he wanted to surprise me. Next, Maia called all our friends in common to make a beach party to me. I didn't know anything, I mean, the last I knew is that Jason was dealing with AMC, but nothing else. This means that Lexa has an storyline, that I'll spend more time with her amazing costume and all the crew and...Eliza.

My heart skips a beat. More time with Eliza. More time being Lexa. We may will have more scenes together and I don't know what is the plan with the characters. Okay, I need to calm down. But my fucking smile doesn't leave my face.

The boys are surfing while the girls are eating and taking pictures. Maia picks her phone and takes a selfie. I just bury my foot in the sand and take my phone. There's no new messages from Eliza. Does she know about this? About Lexa in season 3? About me going to Vancouver to film with her?

“Hey, Eliza, it's me. Again. I don't know if you know about this, but I just heard about that I'll be on the set. Lexa is back! How are you, btw? I miss you. Call me when you can” I write and send the message. I wait for five minutes looking the small screen trying to get concentrate because all the laughs of the guys are bothering me. And there it is. She's online. She watches my text and then she disappears.

I throw my phone to the sand. It's the sixth time that Eliza sees my text and doesn't answer. What I have done to deserve this? Did I say something wrong? Is because of the damn photo and all the stuff it brings? C'mon, a thing like this can't destroy my friendship with her. It's not fair.

“What's wrong?” asks Maia to me and surrounds me with one arm. “And don't tell is nothing cause I know you better that you do.”

I shrug my shoulders. Maia is my best friend, I shouldn't keep this away from her, so I tell her. I let it go.

“It's Eliza. Since the photo thing she's not talking to me anymore. It seems that I did something wrong, like if this bother her. I know the fans can go crazier and crazier, but it's not my fault! Why is she upset with me? I don't understand” I have to stop to take a deep breathe while Maia hugs me.”I get it, no more public photos, no more fun, no more this, but I want a last talk with her to make a deal or something, not finish our friendship in this way” I feel the tears on my eyes so I close them and I let my head lays in Maia's chest.

“It's fine, honey. Everything has an explanation just wait and-”

My phone starts to ring. I see the screen to know who's calling me and my heart just stops. It's Eliza. Maia sees it too and I know what will she say.

“See? Impatient Aly.”

But when I pick the call, is not Eliza on the other line. It's her best friend, Ali.

“Sorry, Alycia, I don't want to worry you, but I saw your messages. Eliza is in the hospital”.

And my world crushes down.


	2. Chapter 2 -What I hide on my dreams-

Eliza POV

I feel every inch of my body in pain. Even open my eyes -or try to do it- hurts like hell. My head is the worst, I guess. It seems like if someone would drill my brain over and over again. When I get open my eyes I see a white roof. Where the hell I am? I hear a repetitive sound next to me. It's like a beep machine and it's not helping at all with my headache.

I turn my head to the left and I see Ali. I open my mouth wanting to say something to her but I can't. What the fuck just happened to me? My best friend looks at me and she gets close immediately. For how she just looks at me I know something is wrong.

“You're here” she whispers. “Thanks of God you finally woke up, I was so scared for you”.

“What happened?” I ask and my voice sounds broken.

“You had a car accident, Eliza. But you are better now” she tries to smile and holds my hand. “Everybody is worried for you.”

“I can't remember anything, Ali” I close my eyes. “How was it?”

“We drunk that night. You said you were fine and you drove at home, but somewhere you deviated from the road and crushed with a tree. The car is destroyed. You lost a lot of blood, the doctors said that...” Ali has to stop before she start to cry. “You have been in a coma almost a week. ”

I need a moment to process the new information. I can't believe it. I was such a irreponsible person if I really got the car and drove drunk. I can't remember anything about that night even if I try, because do that hurts so much, so I stop caring about that and let Ali's hand. At least I'm alive.

“I should warn the doctors that you are awake” I nod. “Don't move too much” Ali says staring something next to me. 

I'm about to tell her that I can't, even if I would wanted, when that something that actually is someone, moves. I look at the right. Next to my side there is a brown curly hair. I don't need to see anything else, I perfectly know who is she. It's Alycia.

“She hasn't sleep for three days waiting for you to wake up. She was praying for you at every moment, hoping that you were fine soon, crying and stopping care about anything that weren't you. I don't know how she handle it, because she hasn't move from that chair during these days she has been here. She finally felt sleep twenty minutes ago and I'm worried about her healthy, so don't wake up her”.

Ali goes out of the room and I stare at Alycia. I feel guilty. She doesn't deserves this, but she's here just for me, because she cares about me so much. I take my hand to her hair and I caress it. She moves again. It has to be unconfortable sleeping in that position, sitting in a chair with the head on the gurney. I know I shouldn't wake up her but she needs to know that I'm fine and rest in a better place.

“Aly” I say. “Aly wake up”.

She keeps sleeping so I push her softly. Alycia looks up until she finds my eyes. I'm only able to see how tired she looks.

“Oh my God, Eliza, you are here” she touches my cheek and I smile to her.

“Don't worry, I'm fine, just with some bones broken and that stuff, but I'm still here”.

She can't say anything. Alycia starts to cry and I have to put my hand over hers, that one which is on my face. I try to silence her, but every time I say a word, she cries harder, so I stop trying and I pull with my other hurt arm her shoulder to bring her closer to me. She hugs me with strenght which makes me complain. She uses less strenght and bury her face on my chest. 

“Don't do this again, okay? I was so scared for you. You don't have any idea” she says.

Suddenly, I wonder what would I feel if Alycia had an accident. I would cry rivers and oceans, I wouln't sleep until she was fine, I would do anything for her, like cross the world to be by her side. She's a very big part of my life, one of my best friends, someone that I care about. A lot. I remember something about the last memories I have. Some messages she sent to me that I didn't replay. What was the motive? And there it is. The photo thing. That one that Ali posted in her Instagram and the fans went crazy. I felt something weird about that. About us and our private life, and I don't know why I stayed away from her. So stupid!

I start to cry. Not because my body it's in pain, not because the accident; it's because of her. I didn't replay those texts and knowing Alycia, I know that she had to be so worried. What if I would died? What was the last I said to her? "Talk tomorrow" and then I never talk to her anymore before the accident?

“I'm so sorry” I apologize. “I was so stupid, Alycia. I should replay to you but I just...” I just what?

“No, Eliza. I am the one who is sorry. I was bothering you and I get it. I promise I won't do it again. You need your space, so no more photos so the fans can't destroy our friendship. I've been thinking and...”

“Stop” I say. “The photo thing it's nothing between us. Maybe I let that happened, but not anymore. No one has the power to break up our friendship. No one. You are one of my best friends and I love you”.

Alycia shuts her mouth and clean my tears so I clean hers. We spend a little moment looking at each other. Something inside of me wants to kiss her but I set aside that thought quickly. She's tired, but still pretty. I just feel in pain and guilty for what I've done to her, what she felt because of me.

“I love you too” she sighs.

“Where is your phone?” I ask and she shows it to me. “Let's take a selfie”.

“What? Now?” 

“Yes” I nod. “And make sure that everybody sees it. Post it on Twitter and Instagram. I don't care about what the fans think anymore. I care about what do you think.”

“Okay” she says with a big smile in her lips and gets close to me. She smells pretty well.

We take a selfie and then she posts it on her accounts. I know that this photo it's going to be a bomb, but I need to make this for her, and yes, for me too.

“You should go home and rest, Aly. I'm okay now”.

“No way. I'm gonna be here with you until you are able to walk, then I'll ride you home and make you a big dinner”.

“You don't have to-” but I shut up because she's looking at me in that way that I know it's going to be what she wants, no matter what I prefer. “I accept it, but try to sleep here at least, I'll do the same”.

“That's a better idea, sis” she smiles and I smile with her.

Alycia sits in a couch in a corner of the room and looks at me for the last time, then she closes her eyes. I watch her one more time, still smiling. I'm actually glad with her in here because I feel more secure, however I think she should be on her own bed sleeping well. Anyway I close my eyes with her image on that couch on my mind.

“And Eliza” she whispers, “try to don't say my name in your dreams, maybe in that way I finally get some sleep. Goodnight”.


	3. -One tear for you-

Eliza POV

I can say it loud, I really hate hospital's food. It's like the worst thing ever. And I love eat, what it's a big problem in here. Thanks of God that Alycia and Ali brings me some chocolates when they can, because if it weren't in that way, I will become crazy.

“What I see? Eliza refusing to eat something?” Ali asks me almost to laugh.

“Belive me, this soup it's just water. I need real food” I claim.

“This is real food, darling. This is good for you because finally you're eating something different from pizza and hot dogs”.

“What's the problem with pizza?” I ask raising an eyebrown.

“Nothing, they are really good. Well, you know that one that you had in the fridge?”

“Yeah...” tell me that she didn't eat it. Please, tell me that it's still full.

“I was really starving, and I ate it”.

“Liar” I say quickly.

“No. It's the truth” she laughs.

“Ali you are just going to the supermarket now and buy every pizza they have, okay?”

“Sincerely, Aly on Lexa's mood has more power than you in that demanding mood” and she keeps laughing.

I cross my arms and pretend to be mad, but then I start to smile to laugh. I'm so much better now. I've spent two weeks in here, but the doctors said this morning that I'm gonna be able to leave the hospital soon. Ali always came here for many hours, but she needs to go in the nights to be okay the next day in order to work, that's way Alycia spends all nights with me in here. At first, she didn't leave the room a second, but then, after some long talks with her, I convinced her to go home during the hours Ali comes.

“What's going on with Alycia?” Ali ask me.

“Pretty fine, why?”

“Well, the last time we spoke about the photo thing was before your accident-”

“Can we just leave the photo thing?” I say a little anger.

“Whoa. So, it bothers you? You said that you wanted more privacy and less crazier fans” she reminds me.

“Yes, I know what I said. I said I wouldn't take more photos with Alycia and if this was too far I would tell Jason that I don't want Clarke romantically involved with Lexa”.

“What?”

When I hear the sweet voice of Alycia my heart start to beating faster. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Did she listen thar last part? Oh my God, I need to fix this.

“Aly, I just-”

“So, that's what you think, right? Okay then, save from yourself your explanations. I get it. Henceforth our relationship will be only professional. See you on the set”.

She leaves and I open my mouth wanting to say anything else but I can. What does just happen? I was going to tell Ali that what I said were wrong, that I love Alycia as a good friend and that everything I thought just change. But now I screw up everything.

“What did she mean about the set?” I ask.

“I promised not to tell you but Jason made it and Alycia can join the crew this season” Ali says.

“Go and bring her to me, quickly!”

“I don't know if that is a good idea...”

“Just do it!” I scream about to lose the nerves. “Go or I'll do”.

* * *

Alycia POV 

I don't know how to say what I'm feeling. It's a mix between a cold bath of water in my head and a burning gash in my heart. I knew it. I knew Eliza was weird with me because of that. What I don't get it it's why she has been normal with me these past few days, like if what she was saying to Ali went to another person.

I feel the tears in my eyes while I'm almost running for this floor from the hospital. I'll go home, go to bed and cry like a baby the whole night. This changes everyting, and just for a stupid photo. Now, the chemistry we have will be just tension and that means that clexa won't be endgame, like I wanted before. But who cares? It's better in this way.

I press the botom of the elevator when I hear her voice.

“Alycia, wait!” 

“What are you doing?” I ask to her and get close. “Go back to your room, you are not totally recover”

“Oh yes, I know, my uncle is hurting like hell but I need to talk with you”.

“There is nothing to talk, go back”.

“No”.

“Yes, now”.

“Then, come with me”.

I deeply sigh and hold her shoulders, I look her in the eyes and I see that she's about to cry. I'm not sure if that it's because the pain she's feeling or for something else, but definitely that break my soul even more.

“Please, listen to me. What you heard it's not what I think now, that was something I said to Ali, but I didn't think properly when I said it. I'm sorry, okay?”

“But you thought it, right? So, what has changed?”

“Nothing. It's just...it wasn't about you, it was about me. About what I felt reading some comments”.

She doesn't look at my eyes anymore. What the hell she felt that keep her eyes far from mines? I'm still touching her, so I leave my arms down and wait for an answer.

“I don't know. I don't want to do anything wrong, I don't want the people think that I love you or you love me. We are not fictional characters”.

“I know that” I say. “But what if I would feel something else, what if you would love me? People comments are going to blow up that? I know what we have and what I feel for you” I lie “and that's the important thing”.

“I can't feel anything for you, I mean more about a friendship. I'm straight” when she says that last word she's barely whispering.

Wait, why she comes with her sexuality? I know that she's straight and I never said or did something that suggested the opossite, so, is she saying that from herself?

“I am too, so what?” She shakes her head. “Now, go back to your room”.

“Come with me, please” and she looks at my eyes again, with tears in her cheeks.

“Eliza...don't cry” I say taking my hand to her face.

“I don't wanna lose you” she whispers and closes her eyes.

“You won't, I promise. No matters what happens, I'll always be there for you” I promise cleaning one of her tears slowly.

Then, she hugs me with so much strenght. She repeatly say "sorry" over and over again while I just stroke her hair and get impregnated by her sweet smell. In this moment that I feel so close to her, I start to think what would it be. Be with her, can hold her in my arms, caress her skin, sleep next to her and stole some kisses from her lips. But, why am I thinking this? If I'm straight I shouldn't feel this. These butterflies in my stomach everytime I think of Eliza telling me that she loves me. What is this? It can't be love. Maybe is just curiosity. But when she brings her lips near to my ear, I feel how my blood gets frozen.

"I need you, Aly"


	4. -Old memories-

Alycia POV

After one more week, the doctors allow Eliza to come back home. She has a fissure in her elbow, a couple of ribs broken and a lot of bruises in her entire body, but she is so much better now. She needs, obviously, finish recovering herself. The last time I saw her was yesterday. I spent the whole afternoon with Eliza until Ali appeared and sent me to rest. I don't know why people still tell me what to do or what I need to do. I can sleep properly when Eliza stays at home safe and sound. I know that she already is, but I wanna ensure myself that she's perfect, and the only way I see that happening is spending how many time as it's possible with her, no matter if I sleep three hours, I need to be with her and take care of her.

So, today she will back and I promised to her that I would make the dinner when she would left the hospital, that's why I am at her house using her kitchen. I bought some vegetables and meat. It's easy cook for her cause she loves food, any type, and I don't want to make something too much special, this is not a date. This is just a welcome dinner.

But my heart wants another thing. My heart, who is taking decisions without my permission, wants to do something different, something that impress Eliza. But no, I can't do that. I don't know what's going on, to be honest, but after the hug in front of the elevator, with all her smell in my nose, her lips next to my ear telling me that she needs me, her arms surrounding my back...something happened that evening, something I'm trying to hide because it's new, really new, but there's something inside of me that pushes me everytime I hear her voice or her name.

And I'm scared. I don't want to recognize it because if I do, if I let myself thinking too much time in this, if I say it loud, I know that it could be like an arrow, and once you let it go, there is no way to return it back. Perhaps this is the main reason I don't want to believe that I deliver feelings for Eliza. There is no way that a thing like that may can happen. But, again, my heart complains.

The dinner is done. It's her favourite salad, full of vegetables, and fillets of pork with honey mustard sauce, like she likes. I dedicate the next minutes to light candles and place them around the living room. Then, I bring the dishes to the low table between the couches and the flowers I bought for her, you know, I love flowers. They are like the esence of the life.

Suddenly, the door bell sounds and a big smile appears in my face. I have to slap softly my cheeks before open the door to erase it. However, I receive a smiling Eliza. She hugs me and smells the air.

“Real food, oh my God, I love you!” she says and enters.

“Well, now it's all yours” Ali announces. “Make sure that she takes her pills”.

“Like ever I do, boss” I answer. “Don't worry, she will be fine”.

When I come back to the living room, she is already eating. Instead of get mad, I laugh and sit next to her.

“Sorry, I'm starving” she says with her mouth full of food.

“It's not a problem, just eat it all” I say putting my mum's voice.

She laughs and continues eating. I do the same thinking that I love the way she smile, laugh and speaks. I stare at her lips when she passes her tongue over them. I have to shake my head and focus on the piece of pork I have on my fork.

“That was the best thing I tried in my entire life” Eliza says covering her belly with a hand. I wish that it would be my hand.

But what the hell I'm thinking? I get up and pick up the plates. When I am in the kitchen, I lean against the counter and take one minute to breathe deeply. Okay, Alycia, you have to concentrate. There is a girl in the living room who is one of your best friends waiting for you, so, get your ass to there and act normal, idiot.

I bring with me a big cream pot with two spoons. I sit in front of her, with the table separating us.

“Seriously, Aly, thanks for this. It's more than I deserve”.

“You deserve more than this, stupid, don't make me remind yourself what you deserve”.

She looks at me smiling and raises an eyebrow.

“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?”

I start to laugh but I finish the sentence.

“Maybe we do”.

“And now you have to kiss me”.

“I'm not gonna get up and go to kiss you. If you wanna a kiss come and get it” I joke.

But Eliza gets up. She licks her spoon looking at me and walks slowly to my couch. She first puts a knee on it and then she pushes me against a pillow. My heart stops. My heart beats fast. I have a heart attack. Another one. I find myself trying to wake up from this dream cause it can't be happening, but when Eliza rises above me and I feel her fingers on my waist, I know it's real.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

Eliza laughs so hard and then she begins to tickle with me. Although my heart can recover itself from the several hearts attack I just had, the butterflies on my stomach remind me what was that feeling, however, I skip those thoughts and fight back. We end in the floor pulling us pillows. 

“Okay, okay, you win. My ribs are burning” she says and I stop, but she smiles mischievously and pushes me one more time in order to get over me again. “And this is why you can't trust your friends”.

“And this is why I should be more like Lexa, winner”.

She gets close her face to mine and I stop breathing. Okay, here we go again. Stay calm, Alycia. Stay calm. She keeps getting closer, staring my lips. What the hell is she doing? But in the last time, she rolls away and leave me space.

“Do you remember when we read the scrip and we found out the kiss scene?” I nod. “I was sick but you wanted to make it perfect and that's why we practised it like a million of times”.

“It wasn't a million of times. Just four” I remember. “And that's why I got sick too”.

“And then we spent time with Marie and she got sick as well” she says.

We laugh remembering how we were all sick and still went out that night with Marie. It was a great night, well, filming with the cast was always fun and I'll always be greatful for the experience.

“Everyone was wondering why we both were sick and it was because of the kisses. Only Jason knew it”.

“He's pretty smart. Do you remember that day we lost you sword and spent the whole day searching for it like crazies”.

“How to forget it?” I say. “And then Jason had it hidden but he wanted to punish ourselves because we were awake the night before”.

We keep remembering things that we have done in the set, like that time we locked up Ricky in a bath, or that time when she saved my phone in her bag and she didn't remember it and I was so scared of thinking that I lost it. No words even for that one moment we wanted to joke and we fight in front the whole set. And the last day where we were crying like babies because we thought it was the last time we were together on the set.

“I'm really glad that you are back” she says to me touching my arm.

“I'm too. We should made or own show about the set. That would be fun”.

“Oh, great idea!”

She tells me the ideas that are going to her mind right now. In the beggining I'm so focus on her words and I picture everyting she wants to do, but somehow, I start to close my eyes and feel so calm. I bet that these past few weeks sleeping nothing are having their efect now, and without the opportunity of stop it, I fall asleep.

Eliza POV

“We should add how we do the things, how we read the scrip, discuss how to do it between us and...Alycia?" I ask her but she doesn't reply.

I look at her and find out that she's sleeping. I smile. Finally she can do it without I have to say it hundred of times. I get up and go to my room to catch some blankets, then I go back and I cover Aly's body with them. I put behind her head and her knees pillows and prepare my own place next to her. I know the floor is not the best place to sleep, but I don't want to wake up her, so I lie and cover with the blankets myself. 

I feel the Alycia's warm body next to me and I'm just so cold. How can this girl be so warm even in the floor? I get close to her, with my back against her and I close my eyes.

“Goodnight” I whisper.

When I'm just about to fall asleep , Aly moves and turns to me . She seems to say something in her dreams but I cannot get it and then I feel her arm surrounding me . She unconsciously leaves her hand on my belly . I close my eyes and hold her hand with mine , letting her warm body filling me .


	5. -The long trip I-

Eliza POV

"Good morning!"

Ali enters in my room turning on the lights. I hide my face against the pillow growling to her, but she starts to sing and throws something to my bed. Why she has to wake me up in this way? I wanna sleep as much as I can before start shooting or doing something that keeps me awake the most time of the day. However, my best friend, who obviously ignores that, keeps trying to get me off the bed.

"C'mon, sleepy beauty , I need you prepared for a big trip in less than an hour!"

"What are you talking about?" I ask hoarsely. "What trip?"

"The trip. You have spent two months recovering from the accident. It's time to go to the nature and enjoy your free time".

"My dreams are full of nature, you know? Let me sleep until the work comes to me".

"No way. C'mon, Maia and Alycia are wating for us. Hurry up, Eliza!"

What? What I just heard? Is Aly back? Oh my God. I kick my sheets and run to my wardrobe. But I don't know what kind of trip it is, so I walk back to Ali.

"See? When you want you can be so fast" she laughs.

"Okay, explain it to me".

"It's a two days camp in the woods with the girls. The phones will be turn off, you need your sleeping bag and cosy clothes. We will bring the food and the tents. That's all" she explains.

With the new information, I run again to my wardrobe and pick up the best cosy clothes that I have. I add to my bag another jacket just in case, and I find a lantern too. I dress up and go back to the room. Ali is gone, so I make the bed and clean up the table turning off the computer. I check my phone and answer all the messages I have. There is a lost phone call from Bob. Immediately, I call him back.

"Hey, Eliza. What's up?"

"I just find that you called me" I answer.

"It's true. I wanted to know how are you".

"I'm fine. Listen, I will spend the weekend without the phone, so don't be scare if I don't respond your calls".

"Okay. What are you doing these days?" he asks.

"Going to a trip with Ali, Maia Mitchel and Alycia" my voice shakes a little bit when I say Aly's name.

"That's great, have fun and say to Aly that I'm couting the hours to be by her command again" he laughs and I smile.

"I'll do. See you!"

We end the call and I catch my things. I go downstairs and the first thing I watch is Aly's hair in a braid. She turns to me and smiles openning her arms. I hug her closing my eyes and smelling her vanilla perfume. It's my favourite so I take a deep breathe before we separate.

"I missed you so much! Why you didn't tell me that you were back today?" I softly push her.

"Surprise!" she says smiling.

She had to leave to USA few days after I left the hospital to film Fear The Walking Dead. I thought she would spent more time in there, but finally she's here and the only thing I want to do is hugging her the whole time until she leaves again. She looks amazing with those black clothes.

"Well, let's pack the last things and go, girls! Maia says coming to me. "Hey, Eliza. I'm glad that you are fine".

"Thanks" I say recieving her hug. "I'm glad to see you again".

We pack the food, the ropes and the tents and close my entire house, then, we get in the car with Ali driving and we leave the civilization to enter the nature.

***

Alycia POV

I have only a week before I'll have to leave Australia again and go back to the set. Working in this serie is kinda different from The 100, but I still love it. In The 100 I have more fun and I consider them my second family, but with the other crew the things are usually more serious. Well, I'll finish the spin off soon and then we will be shooting season 3. I know that my vacations are gonna be so small, but is one of the parts that I love of my job.

We spend the whole travel in the car signing and telling stories. Ali parks in a safety esplanade and we divide the things between the four. Maia and Ali know the place better that us, so Eliza and I end behind them. At first, we both listen to the instructions they give to us. This wood is leafly and is easy to get lost, so we need to be close with each other and don't separate under any circumstances. Eliza takes the directions so well and gets closer to me. I focus on the trees and on the ground.

"Do you think it will rain?" she asks me.

I look at the overcast sky and I nod. We didn't see it, and it seems that it will rain.

"Don't worry about the weather" Maia says. "If it rains, we can cover ourselves in the tents".

We keep walking. I don't know why I'm so quiet today. Eliza is too, which is weird. She's always talking and joking and doing things, but today she is in silent, looking the nature. Maybe she's thinking of some stuff and that could be the reason why she seems to be in another planet. Yet when I'm just about to turn my face and stop looking at Eliza, her eyes rolling to me and I quickly look forward. Shit.

“And how is everything with the new cast?” she asks.

“Good. Very good. It's different from other works I've been working before”.

“I bet on that. When will you leaving again?”

“Next week” I say.

“Damn, I will have you just for seven days for myself?” I look at her without showing any emotions and I see that she starts to blushing so I look at my feet. “You are weird today, aren't you?”

“I thought you were the only weird in here” I say that words without thinking, so I close my eyes and shake my head. “I mean, it's weird the fact that you are so quiet”.

“You are too” she responds resentfully.

Okay, I fucked it up. Why the hell I was rude? And why the hell we are like we are today? This is so rare. The last time we were together the things were so much different. We were joking, fighting with pillows and smiling the whole time. Now it seems that something has happened between us, and I don't know what it is. I'm thinking about an apology when it starts to rain.

“See? I told you” Eliza says and walks quickly away from me to grab Ali's arm.

“It's just a simple rain. Calm down” Maia says.

Eliza looks at Maia like a killer and pulls Ali to go faster.

“What the hell bit her?” Maia asks me when they are far away.

“I don't know” I whisper with my eyes lost in the green grass.

“And what the fuck is going on with you? You are acting weird”.

I stop walking. Maia does too. She looks at me and understands something I don't. She hugs me but I don't hug her back.

“Okay, sorry. But everything it's fine, trust me” she rubs my back.

“What are you doing?” Eliza screams and I open my eyes seeing her looking at us. “We should't separate, remember?”

And she disappears.

“Eliza is mad at me or something” I tell Maia. “Let's go, I don't wanna worsen it”.

The rains turns into a storm so the tents are too weak for help us. Maia leads the group to a small cave and we turn on the lights to see what we are tread. In the car Eliza said the she wanted to share her sleeping bag with someone. I thought that I wanted to share it with her, but I've changed my mind, so I get close to say Eliza it and Maia is agree.

“So, you both are gonna sleep in the same one?” Eliza questions looking at me.

“Yes” I say grabbing a pack of cereals to eat them.

“Fine” she says upset.

I don't see it at the first look, but then I realize what's going on. Everytime I get closer to Maia, say something to her, make her smile or laugh, everytime I touch my best friend, Eliza is looking at us but when I look at her and find it, she quickly pay attention to Ali and is more loving with her.

Next time, I'm prepared. I tell Maia to play a game where if she fails something that I ask, se has to do to something stupid. I start to asking easy questions, so we laugh and Eliza looks at us sideways. The next one it's tricky and she fails. After she complains, she starts to punch me in the arm without harming me.

“Take it easy, Maia. She has to film next week” Eliza says suddenly.

“I'm not hurting her” Maia answers.

“Maybe you should show your love for her doing other things, don't you?”

That ironic question catches us by surprise, but I was expecting something like this in the bottom of my heart. So I look at Maia and she looks at me. She understands what I'm asking for and she hugs me.

“Better now?” she asks.

“So much better. What about a romantic kiss, Maia? Or maybe you prefer to do something dirty behind that sleeping bag”.

Maia gets up fiercely and I have to hold her hand to stop her.

“Okay, we are gonna stop this now” Ali says while Eliza gets up calmly.

“Stop what? There is nothing to stop in here. Don't you see that?” and she burns me with her eyes.

“Eliza I think you are completely wrong” I admit.

“Am I?” she laughs and begins to walk to us.

“Maia don't do anything stupid” I murmur.

“I won't” she says sitting again. “This girl is crazy”.

“What did you say?” Ali asks anger.

Ali and Maia start a verbal fight. I try to stop Maia but she leaves me behind and keeps screaming to Ali. Then, Eliza keeps walking and I go behind her. I put my hand in her shoulder but she moves aside.

“Don't touch me” she says and she leaves the cave.


	6. -The long trip II-

Maia POV

I have to control myself and don't punch Ali in the face. She's getting anger and anger and I'm just about to lose my nerves. This can't be turning into a big shit. I wanted to do this for Alycia and now I'm fighting with someone else. It's not fair to anyone, so I have to stop it.

“Ali, stop, please, for them” and I turn my face and see only Aly sitting in the rocky ground hugging her legs.

“Aly, are you okay?” I ask her forgetting about Ali and going to her side.

“Eliza just left the cave and she doesn't want to talk with me” she says.

Ali starts to move towards the exit of the cave but I get in the way.

“No. Stay here, I'll do it”.

“There is no way that she listens to you” Ali says.

“Do you wanna bet?”

I leave the cave and see Eliza in front of me, away from us. I walk to her crossing my arms in the chest. At first I don't say anything, but she knows I am next to her. I look at Eliza trying to figure out what she is thinking, but her eyes are lost in the darkness of the night. It's getting colder and the rain doesn't help at all.

“You should go back” I say.

Eliza doesn't respond. She still looks at the nothing. I want to know what the hell is happening, why is she so mad at me and Alycia, and why my best friend is so weird lately. Is because of her? I need to know.

“Look, this was supposed to be a great trip with our best friends and no what it's now. The worst thing is that I don't know what is going on. Could you explain it to me?”

But she doesn't even look at me. She seems to be far away from me, from this forest, but I won't give up. If I'm doing this is because I care about Aly and I know how much important is Eliza to her. The rare thing is that if something would has happened between them I should know about it because Alycia would has told that to me. I have to get her attention.

“I don't know if you are consciuos, but you are hurting Alycia with your attitude”.

And there it is. I get her attention with that which means that, like I thought before, Eliza cares about Aly more than my best friend thinks.

“Am I?” she asks and I nod. “How do you know that?”

“Because I know her and if you just take a deeply look you will find it. Eliza, Aly loves you”.

“No, she doesn't” she whispers.

“Okay, tell me why you are angry, and don't say you are not”.

***

Alycia POV

Maia went out like 15 minutes ago. I'm worried for them, cause it's rainning too hard outside, but if they are getting late it's because they are talking and I don't wanna ruin it going there. Eliza it's mad at me. I'm trying to figure out what I've done to get it, but the more I think about it, the less I find. 

Ali gets up and starts to walk to one side to another. Maybe she knows something I'm missing and she can help me if she tells me, but I'm afraid to ask. 

“They should come back” she says. “It's cold and they are getting wet”.

“Let's give them 5 more minutes” I say.

“Okay. Do you know why is she in this mood?”.

“I thought you knew it”.

“I wish” she says shaking her head, “but I don't. It's me or she was jealous about you?”

“Jealous?” I ask in disbelief but when Ali is about to tell me what she thinks, Eliza and Maia appear.

The both are shaking and are sodden. Maia change her shirt for another one and gets in her sleeping bag. I guess that because of she is wet she doesn't want to share it, so I catch mine. I look at Eliza carefully and I figure out that she haven't anything dry clothes to dress up. I suddenly think in the jacket I caught for just in case and I throw it to her. I turn my face and get into my sleeping bag.

“Thanks” she whispers.

I don't replay, but I take a look at her. She gets off her T-shirt and I see her back, I feel I'm blushing but my eyes can't move, attracted to see more and more. Maia, who is in front of me, looks at me serious and points my eyes with the lantern, I close them at the moment.

“Go to sleep, Alycia. It's not the moment” Maia says and she turns off the light.

* * *

Eliza POV

My throat hurts like hell in the morning. When I wake up everybody is still sleeping. My eyes fly to Alycia. I dreamed with her, and it wasn't good. I was yelling at her the whole time while she was trying to calm me down, and at the end, I punched her. I can't harm her, I can't do it. If she gets hurt, even if that is a dream, I feel a twinge in my heart, but yesterday I did it with my attitude. I was a completely jerk treating Maia and Aly in that way.

When they all wake up, I feel the tension in the air. Maia is mad at me and at Ali after what happened last night, Ali is mad at Maia because she said I was crazy, and Alycia doesn't talk and doesn't speak. I should stayed at home because nothing of this would has happened. We leave the cave packing our stuff and decide to go back to the car. I guess it's the best idea. This trip is fucked up, but before it ends, I need a moment with Aly to say that I'm sorry.

The weather today it's wonderful. There aren't clouds and the sun is really warm. I look at the blue sky and cover my eyes when the sunlights hit my face. Because I'm not looking at the ground I don't see that Aly just stopped and I crash with her.

“Oh, damn, sorry” I apologize.

“No problem” she says looking for something in the bag.

“What are you looking for?” she looks at me anger.

“My phone, I must have left it in the cave” she closes her bag. “I need to go back”.

“Okay, I'll go with you”.

“No” she refuses. “Maia can...” and we both realize that we are alone. “Where the hell are they?”

We look around and keep walking a little bit more calling their names, but they are not near. Alycia goes back to the cave and I have to follow her almost running. She's so angry with me that she doesn't want to speak. Okay, I know, she has motives to get angry at me. I was a totally idiot, saying those things, pushing Maia and then leaving the cave like a child, but she needs to know that I was wrong and that I am really sorry. 

“Can we stop?” she claims.

“Yeah, of course” I say. “Do you want some water?”

“No”.

She sits on a rock and takes her own bottle, then, she drinks. Fine, this is the moment.

“I'm sorry” I say.

“Okay” she replays.

“And?”

“And nothing. What do you want to hear?” she asks.

“Aly, I'm sorry. Really sorry. I shouldn't treat you in that way”.

“Why did you do it then?”.

“Cause I was jealous” I admit without thinking or stopping the words. “I was, okay? In the car you and Maia were so close, joking and laughing the whole time. I wish our friendship were like that, but no, she's your best friend and...” I close my eyes, I can't say anything else, not if I don't wanna screw it up again.

“But you are my best friend too. Eliza, are you serious? We joke, we laugh, we talk the whole time, we spend a lot of time together, if isn't enough for you? Maybe it's me, right? Maybe I'm just not enough for you...”

I look at her. The tears are rolling down her cheeks. I feel how my heart breaks into a million of pieces, how my eyes want to cry because of her. Of course she is enough. But...I don't know what happened to me. I was really jealous, like if I couldn't handle the fact that I have to share my friendship with someone else.

I walk towards her and bend over. I grab her hands with mines and look deeply in her eyes. I know there is something else, something that is torturing her. I know Alycia, and it's easy to find out when she is sad or she has something big inside of her. She tries to drop my hands, but I hold them with more strenght.

“Tell me what is happening to you” I say slowly and she looks at my eyes sighing deeply.

“I doubt you will look at me like always...is just...I think I like girls too” and the tears flood her eyes.

I take a moment to process what she just said. She likes girls too. That means that she is bisexual, or that she thinks she is. I cannot resist think that is my fault, because of the characters we play on the show. But then Maia appears on my mind. Is because of her, yes. That would explain a lot of thinks but I back on focus in my friend. She's silently crying while my hands still hold hers. She believes that something is going to change between us, but she's wrong. I hug her. It's not like the typical hug. It's more strong, more deep. I'm trying to let her know that I'm not gonna run. I'm still here for her, even if her sexuality it's that one, I don't care.

“You, idiot, don't remember what I said in the hospital? Nothing can change our friendship. What's more, I love you even more now” I whisper against her ear and she shudders.

“Sorry for being weird yesterday. I was thinking in this the whole time”.

“You should told me before, honey, but I get why you didn't. I promise everything is fine. I'll be there for you, even if you wanna kiss me to find it out” I say.

She smiles for the first time in the day which makes me smile too.

“It's the second time you ask me for a kiss without being working. Are you sure that you are straight?” she jokes.

“Pretty much” but I feel something inside of me that is lying. I would kiss her if she tells me to do it.

“We should go back to the car” I nod and then I kiss her forehead.

“Let's go” I replay.

We go back, holding our hands. If I'm sure about something, it's that I'll try to do anything for her. If she and Maia are going with something, or if Alycia needs to do anything to figure it out, I'll be there, or in the other hand, I'll stay away, letting her space and time.


	7. -The first kiss-

Alycia POV

It's my last day here. Tomorrow I'll take a flight to USA to continue filming Fear The Walking Dead. I tried to meet with Eliza today, but she was busy, so I'm a little bit sad, to be honest. After the trip we talked on the phone. It was a normal conversation between us, but I felt that something was different. I guess that it's me, that it's only what I think because I thought that something like that had to happen, but I don't know. What I told to her is difficult to accept, because is something that can change everything, and maybe she wants to be more away from me, just in case that I could fall in love. What she doesn't know is that I already feel something for her. Okay, no, delete that part. I don't feel anything for Eliza, I feel nothing. And, what's more, I don't even know if I like girls too or if it's just a temporal thing.

I got a call this morning from Ali. She wants to talk about what happened in the cave that night and to talk about Eliza. I no have idea about why she would want to talk about her, but it scares me. Anyway, I accepted to meet her in a coffee and then I called Maia. They both are still mad and I want to fix it, or at least, try. We are good friends, and we need to stay together and forgive each other, so Maia will go there too.

I quickly dress up with casual clothes, catch my bag and my things and go outside of my house. I drive until the coffee and park near it. I watch Ali's car so I know that she's actually inside. I open the door and look around in order to see her. She's sitting in a table with a tea and some cookies.

“Hi” I salute and sit in front of her.

“Hey” she says smiling. “Are you gonna order something?”

“Yes” I say while I raise my hand and call a waiter. “I will order a coffee and some cookies, please”.

The waiter notes what I said and go. While I wait for it, I look at Ali and she looks at me. My heart is beating faster than the normal, and I don't know why. I should be calm, but it seems that Ali is drilling me with her eyes.

“Well” she starts, “we should talk about what happened in the trip. I admit it, I was stupid and I shouldn't fought with Maia. You know that I could be overprotective when Eliza is in the middle”.

“Yes, I know, and that is one of the things why you are her best friend. I guess, I have to apologize too”.

“No, you don't have to, but I'm not here just because of this, I need to talk with you about something”.

And here it is. I'm so scared. I have this feeling that she wants to warn me about something. And that something is Eliza, I know. 

“Eliza is getting weird lately” she tells me.

“What do you mean?”

She shrugs and drinks some tea. The waiter comes with my order and I add sugar on my coffee.

“She's hidding something that is hurting her. I felt it when you were in USA and I feel it again, even more than then, after the trip”.

I take a sip of my coffee and I bit one of the cookies. I didn't even notice it, but now I'm starting to do it. Maybe it's true, maybe Eliza has something inside of here that is torturing her. On the trip she was really upset and mad with me and with Maia. She said that she was jealous about our friendship but that is weird. My friendship with her is special, and she doesn't even know how much I care about her. But the question is why? Why she was resentfully?

“Do you have any idea about why she is in this mood?”

She nods, but she doesn't open her mouth to answer me. Ali takes a moment to drink again and to eats a cookie. Then she looks at my eyes deeply. She definitely knows something, but for how she is looking at me, I would swear that I have a part in that.

“I think Eliza is in love with you”.

Say that I almost kill myself with a piece of the cookie in my throat is not enough to describe it. When I recover myself and I'm able to breathe again, I laugh. But Ali doesn't even smile, so she is not joking. I calm down and take more coffee. She can't be serious, maybe this is that kind of TV programme where the famous people go to somewhere without knowing what's going on and someone who is close to them do or say something that is litterally impossible. Where are the cameras? This is not funny, so if this is a tv show, please, stop it.

“Ali, did you hear yourself? Eliza in love? With me? Okay, most of the time you're the funniest person in the entire world, but this time it isn't funny” I say almost about to laugh again.

“I knew that your reaction would be something like this, but no, Aly, this is not a fucking joke, this is what I think”.

“Well, you are totally wrong then. Eliza is not in love with me. C'mon, is too obvious”.

“It is?” she asks me. “All the looks, the things she says about you, how she is when she is alone with you, how she is when something happens to you, the worried that she gets, or the happy she gets when something good comes to you. Everything is about you, maybe she is unconscious, maybe she refuses herself to believe it, but she loves you”.

No. That's impossible. Eliza doesn't love me in that way. I know that sometimes she can be so close to me, like when we were in her coach, or that times when she jokes about kissing me, or when I get her looking at me and she looks to another place quickly, and yes, what happened in the trip was weird, but any of these can prove nothing.

“Ali, Eliza can be a little more protective with me and she also cares about me too much, but she sees me only as a friend”.

“And you know that because you asked her before? Or that's what you say to yourself at every moment trying to stop your feelings?”

“You know nothing about my feelings” I respond slowly, looking at the table.

“No, it's true, but what I know is that you are good for her and she is good for you. When you both are together you seem to be better, the problems go away and the sexual tension is touchable” I start to shake my head to say no, but she continues.”Tell me, Alycia, tell me the truth, when you kissed her for the first time, what did you feel? Because I know exactly what she felt.

My eyes fly to hers. Now, I'm curious. I always blocked my thought about what I felt the first time Eliza kissed me, because, althogh no body knows (except Ali as I see) she was the first to kiss. We were on the set, it was dark outside and the majority of the people were already sleeping. We both were near to each other, reading the script, memorazing it. The Clexa kiss was in it. At the beggining, when we read it for the first time, we couldn't believe that it was going to happen so soon, and we joked about it, but it was real. I wanted to practise it, but I was afraid at the same time. I never kissed a girl before and Eliza was my friend, which it complicated it even more.

Eliza stopped reading and looked at me. She left the script on a table a sitted next to me. I left my script too. She was looking at my lips. I knew in that moment what she wanted, and my heart just went to fast. I didn't know why I was so nervious, but then I realize that Eliza has the power to make me feel like that. She told me that it was a good idea to practise the kiss before we film it, and I was agree. It was just work. Nothing else.

She held my face between her hands, and got close her lips to mines. I don't know if she could hear my heart beating as hell, but I did. She closed her eyes so I did it too, and then I felt her lips against mines. That thing that every human has inside of us came to life and I kissed her back. I have to recognize that we did better the kiss in front of the cameras, but our first kiss is something that I'll never forget. I felt butterflies in my stomach, I felt a fire inside of me, burning my veins, warming every inch of my skin. That kiss changed everything.

“I couldn't find any place to park my car, sorry for the delay” Maia says sitting near to me, blowing up my memory.

“What is she doing in here?” Ali asks to me.

“I thought it was a good idea to meet with her too and fix everything” I say upset.

“Well, I told her before” Ali starts to apologize looking at Maia.” I'm sorry about my attitude”.

“I am too. I don't know what happened, but I promise it won't happen again” Maia replays smiling.

They both start a conversation. I don't pay attention because I don't care about it. I know that I wanted them to be okay, but now I'm worried about my feelings. I buried that kiss, I buried every touch, every look, every sign that told me that Eliza felt something for me, but it is here again, and I don't know how to stop it, or if I should. What was what Eliza felt with that kiss?

“Guys, I'm so sorry” Ali says, “but I have to go”.

We say goodbye and Maia and me end alone. She orders a tea and a piece of cake.

“Well, you are quiet again” she says to me. “It's because what you told to me? I don't care about your sexuality, Alycia” I look at her. I can't do this right now. “And you know why?”

“Who cares?” I whisper.

“I”.

I don't see it coming, I don't even now what is happening until Maia is kissing me. I close my eyes and I continue it for a while, but my heart is beating normally, there is no butterflies in my stomach, there is nothing. This is wrong. I can't do this. I draw away and Maia look at me serious. I get up.

“I'm sorry, Maia, but I can't. This is...I can't” I grab my things leaving money in the table.

“Alycia, I'm...”

I run towards the door and I don't stop until I'm inside my car. I drive away. Why the hell Maia kissed me? I can't deal that she feels something for me. No. That would be a chaos. Maia in love with me and I in love with Eliza? This is not a TV show. My tears are rolling down. I wish that would was Eliza kissing me instead of Maia, because in that case I would love it, because, although I'm trying my best to block any feeling, I have to say it for once:

“I love you, Eliza”.


	8. -When the past appears to show you the present-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the first I want to say is that I'm sorry, but today I'm leaving far to my town to a village lost in the mountains and the WiFi is not working very well. For now, this is the last chapter I can upload, but I'll keep writing and when I can, I'll add more chapters. I hope that it will be soon, but I wanted you to know this. If you like the Elycia fan fic, just wait and see, because many things are coming that you will love. Thanks to everyone who is reading and may we meet again :3
> 
> A

(For this chapter you should listen "Only love can hurt like this" by Paloma Faith)

Eliza POV

Three weeks after Alycia left Australia again. Four weeks after the trip thing. Four weeks after we've seen the last time each other. I don't know by this moment why I said I couldn't meet her the next day after the trip when it was really a lie. I think I need time, but for what? When I think about her something inside of me turns into a mess. A big mess.

I never have to lie to people about what I'm doing or what I feel, because normally I know exactly what I feel, what are my emotions, but when it's about Alycia, nothing is the same. I feel so confortable when I'm with her alone, but when people are around I'm usually more cold with her. I guess she has noticed it, because it's too obvious the change, but she never has told me something about this. Maybe she understands more than I do.

I'm in a mall. At first I wanted to come with Ali, but then I thought that a shopping day with me, myself and I was a better idea. So here I am. I already bought more than I need or want, but, seriously, shopping calms me and keeps me thinking in other things than in reality until a song hits me in the ears. I close my eyes in wince because this song has been the only thing I have been listening since Alycia told me about her sexuality. It's "Only love can hurts like this" by Paloma Faith. 

I'd tell myself you don't mean a thing (but you clearly does)  
But what we got, got no hold on me? (I'm sure?)  
But when you're not there I just crumble (like now, like I only want to stay with you)  
I tell myself that I don't care that much (but it's just a lie I tell myself)  
But I feel like I'm dying till I feel your touch (I do, and I regret about not meet with you the last time)

Only love, only love can hurt like this  
Only love can hurt like this  
Must have been a deadly kiss  
Only love can hurt like this  
(But I'm not in love, right?)

Say I wouldn't care if you walked away (the reality is that I care)  
But every time you're there I'm begging you to stay (like right now)  
When you come close I just tremble (and I try to hide it)  
And every time, every time you go  
It's like a knife that cuts right through my soul (I'm just bleeding...)

Only love, only love can hurt like this  
Only love can hurt like this  
Must have been a deadly kiss  
Only love can hurt like this  
Only love can hurt like this  
(what if I'm in love?)

Your kisses burning to my skin (never someone has done that to me, but you did and I want to feel it again)  
Only love can hurt like this  
But if the sweetest pain (and the worst at the same time)  
Burning hot through my veins  
Love is torture makes me more sure (love is just not a torture, it's weakness too)

Only love can hurt like this  
Only love can hurt like this  
Only love can hurt like this  
Must have been the deadly kiss (and if it hasn't been, can we repeat it until I die?)

Only love can hurt like this  
Only love can hurt like this  
Your kisses burning to my skin  
Only love can hurt like this  
Only love can hurt like this

Save me, save me (you could save me saying that I am the one for why you think like you think)  
Only love, only love  
'Cause only love can hurt like this  
And it must have been the deadly kiss

The song ends and I have to blink several times to scare the tears that threat me with rolling down my cheeks. This is stupid, I can't believe that I'm really sad about a girl. But my heart hurts again when I try it. Since Alycia told me that maybe she likes girls too, everything changed. Not because I hate her, not because I could be scared from her. It's just...I felt something that day that pushed me to kiss her, and by this time, I have the necessity of do it. Alycia is the best kisser I've ever tried, and it's just her. Everything in her is perfect, and this thoughts are not cool with me.

I'm straight. I am. How a straight woman can fall in love with a girl? That's impossible, so I'm not. This is just a kind of jealousy I haven't had before. Do you want to know for who I am jealous? Well, take a deeply look at Maia Mitchell. She's always with her, making her smile, laugh and happy. They are so close, and that is bad for me if I let my feelings go and I discover something that is wrong, so, no, I won't do it. And Aly is just my friend, I can't think to kiss my friend and I won't say anything else about just a kiss. No. It can't happen. It's simple.

“What I see? Eliza?”

I turn my face and find our that the person who just speak is David, my ex boyfrind like 5 years ago. He was so overprotective, and he couldn't handle the fact that actresses have to kiss actors...and actresses too. So we argued many times, we fought and the things didn't end good.

“It's have been a while since the last time I see you, Dave. How are you?”

“Better than you” he jokes.

I fake a smile. I need to go right now. I don't want to stay with him alone, I mean, we are in a mall where many people are around us, but is not Ali or anyone else who knows what happened near, and that makes me so nervious. David is aggressive, he hit me the last time we discuss about my career and that was what made me break up with him.

“I have to go, sorry” I say.

“To where? C'mon, stay with me. I've been reading about you, and I found out that you were right. You said you could stay with me and don't fall in love with any actor, I didn't believe you, but, hey, it has been almost 5 years and you are still single”.

Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn. Damn my fucking entire life right now. Holly crap, please, God, save me.

“So what?” I start to walk but he grabs my arm with strenght.

“I think you are single because you are still in love with me” I laugh with all my desire, but it wasn't a joke because David clenches his fist hurting me. “What is so funny, Eliza?” and I see insanity in his eyes.

I don't let my lips open, I don't give them the power to answer, but my mouth is saying it before I can stop it or change it.

“Silly man, I'm not single” I say.”I'm with someone that loves me as much as I love that person”.

“That's true?” I nod and he uses less strenght. “What's his name?”.

I smile. Although this is a lie, in my mind sounds really great. I wish for a moment that it could be real, but is not going to happen ever.

“It's actually not his, it's her name” he lets my arm, without believe what I said. “Her name is Alycia” I continue, feeling that something inside of me just awakes, and it feels good.

Really good. But then, when he goes and I can go back to home, that thing starts to thinks that Alycia would never feel the same, and it hurts. I realize that is going to be hard meet her again and doing it like I'm okay, because I'm not. My heart is crying while my mind tries its best to stop everything, but the feelings are winning, or at least is what I think. I wish I could tell this to her and see what she thinks, but I can't ruin our friendship for this, because I don't even sure about what it is exactly, but the pain is real, that's for sure. Well, I guess only love can hurts like this, right?


	9. -Face your fears-

Alycia POV

The alarm rings at 06:50. I open my eyes and see across the window that outside there is clearity but it's still night. I turn off the phone and close my eyes again. I just need 5 more minutes in the bed, I can't get up, clean my face and my teeth, go back to the room, make the bed, get dressed and catch my things. Then I have to have breakfast quickly and call my mum because is something I always do when I take a flight.

Yes, I'm a little scared by planes and highs although this is a thing of me that not everyone knows. While my heart tells my brain that it wants to sleep more, my brain replays that is not its fault, and I get up. I go to the bathroon and in 10 minutes I'm finished, then I back to the room and dress up with a black cosy shorts and a white shirt. Then I grab the suitcase and the bag and I leave my room.

It's gonna be like 2 months away from Australia, but I like the place where I'll go. It's Vancouver. I have to say that I love work there, because its landscapes, the air you can breathe, and yes, the people that I work with. Playing Lexa in The 100 is amazing, I'm always saying that. It's a wonderful TV show with the best cast ever. They treated me like if I was in the first season since the day one, and it continued even better with the time.

I'm finishing my breakfast when the door bell rings. I look at the hour and I find out that is too late, so I throw to the trash the toast and clean the dishes quickly. The bell sounds again and I run toward the door. I perfectly know who is behind it. It's Eliza, and I'm too nervious about the travel and about everything I have to pack yet that I have no time to think about the fact that this is the first time we are going to see each others in months.

“Sorry” I apologize while open the door. “I didn't notice that is almost the time.”

“Don't worry” she says locking the door behind her.

I even look at Eliza. I back running to the kitchen to verify that everything is okay.

“Could you close the windows and the blinds?” I ask.

“Sure” she replays and go to the living room to do it. “Do you need something else?”

“No, that's the last thing to do.”

I try to hurry up because we need to leave in about 20 minutes to the airport. Thank of God, Jason told both of us that we need to stay in the set since day one, so Eliza called me when we knew about it to ask me if I wanted to go with her in the plane. Of course I want. It's not just because I really wanna stay by her side and enjoy her company, but is because I always want to be with someone on the flights. When I travel alone, I swear, I just wanna cry.

I turn a corner without seeing that Eliza is running to my side. We both crash and the books I was portraying fall down. I cower at the same time she does and we grab the same book. My hand ends over hers. I look at her eyes but she's already looking at me. I smile because she smiles and then I take my hand away.

“Sorry” she says.

“Oh, no, don't worry about this.”

“I'm not sorry for this” she starts and I raise an eyebrown. “I know I've been disappear this weeks and I should meet you when you come back the last two times. I just...” Eliza closes her eyes. “I don't have any excuse.”

“I get it” I replay still smiling. “It's okay.”

“No, is not. It seems like I wanted to stay apart from you.”

“And it's true?” I'm not smiling anymore, I look at her eyes so serious.

She shakes her head and touches my shoulder. I have to control myself and don't start to shiver in front of Eliza. 

“Of course it's not. You are my friend, Aly.”

She hugs me and then she helps me picking all the books. I pack the last things I have to take with me and I close the door of my house. I heard Eliza saying “may we meet again” and I laugh. She is the one who drives to the airport because although I took a pill I'm still nervious. So nervious.

We arrive at the airport and run to pass every control. I take my stuff and my passport and follow Eliza across there. Our gate is not far and it's almost the time so I won't have more time to think that the plane could fall to the ocean, or a wing could break, or someone inside could have a bomb and we could explode anytime. Yes, it's silly, but is what I think everytime a take a flight.

“Hey, don't worry” she says to me. “We will be fine, you will see it!”

“Or maybe not” I say laughing because of the nerves.

She pushes me and then she passes an arm to cover my shoulders.

“I'll be with you, and I promise that we will land in Vancouver before you notice it. Okay?”

I don't know why I picture in my mind Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars saying the same and then I see me as Hazel Grace. I nod and replay “okay”, then we enter to the plane, I praying to God and Eliza still holding me, giving me more strenght.

We take our sits in business class. I sit near to the window and Eliza next to me. She seems so calm, smiling to the air hostess while I'm biting my nails until the root. The plane starts to move, first slow, then faster. I close my eyes looking at the roof when I feel Eliza's hands on my bell. I open my eyes inmediatelly.

“You have to fasten your seat belt” she says staring my eyes while she tries to find the seat belt, then, she fastens it. 

“I forgot it” I whisper ashamed.

“Honey, your are safe, okay? Stop worrying” she caresses my cheek and smiles.

I feel a little bit better looking at her eyes and feeling her warm touch in my skin. I can't explain with words what I really feel when Eliza touches me or looks at me. It's a kind of fire inside of me that starts to burn in my heart and then explodes to continue its way across my veins, my muscles, every of my cells, my skin...everything is in fire when Eliza is near, like if she were the fuel of my own flame. But all of this thoughs go back to their hiding place of my heart when the plane starts to elevate. I wanna scream and shout and go back to my home right now. I hate fly, I hate planes, I hate these feelings and...I leave to breathe because Eliza takes my hand in hers. I look at her hand over mine, pressing it and then I look at her. She nods and I breathe again. I didn't notice that we are already flying.

“See? We are fine. The worse is done.” she says.

“Don't talk, we have to be here for hours.”

“Try to sleep, Alycia, I'll wake up you when we arrive.” But I don't want to sleep because if I do and something happens...she's reading my mind or something because she holds my hand with more strenght. “C'mon, I'll take care of you.”

Well, I'm with Eliza on a plane, she's holding my hand and she's getting close to me. Maybe I should try to relax at least. There are more car accidents than plane's, and is complicated that something fails during the flight. I put my head over Eliza's shoulder and she leans hers in mine. I close my eyes feeling her breathing calmly and I take a deeply breathe. Everything it's fine and I'm not talking about the plane thing, I'm talking about us. She's not mad at all or doesn't want to stay away from me. She's offering me her friendship, something I need even more than anything else, cause Eliza is an important piece of the puzzle of my life and that's everything that matters; she is my friend.

Eliza POV

Alycia felt asleep like 20 minutes after I told her to get some rest. I know is the best way to pass without problems the flight. You just stop to worry about everything and when you wake up the time to land is so close. I know I won't sleep because if something happens I wanna be awake for her. I didn't know that Alycia was so scared about this, I mean, she told me before but I thought it wasn't a big deal.

The air hostess goes to us and ask me if we need something. I'm thinking about some alcohol, but I finally order just a coffee with milk and water in case that Alycia wakes up and wants something. The woman leave us and I stare at our hands. She moves hers and lances her fingers with mine. A small smile appears in my lips and I shake my head trying to send it out, but it doesn't work. I take my phone with the free hand and I take a selfie of both of us. I look at the pic even more smiling. She looks like an angel when she is sleeping. 

The time passes too slow. I'm watching a film in the screen I have in the plane with my head leaning in Alycia's head. Maybe she's cold so I let her hand to find the blanket of the plane. “Don't leave me” she says in a low voice while she's still sleeping. I grab the blue blanket and cover her with it. I want to hold her hand again but I don't.

“Excuse me, does you friend her seat belt fasten?” the air hostess asks me.

“No, she doesn't, why?” 

“Because we are going to pass across a turbulance zone. Please, wake up her and stay calm, it will be a couple of minutes.”

I can be calm the whole time but I know that Alycia won't. I don't wanna wake up her but I need to if I wanna her safe. Maybe I can do something to calm Aly if she gets nervious, holding her hand has helped me before and it can be helpful again, yet I want to try fasten her seat belt for myself like I did without wake up her, but is gonna be hard.

I'm trying to be careful when the plane arrives at the turbulence. I have to hold Aly because she can hit herself with something. Like it's obvious, she awakes breathing so fast. I have my head close to her chest so I can hear her heart beating faster and faster. She needs to calm down, this is normal and is safe, just a few minutes and we will be flying normally.

“What's this? What's happening?” she asks and I fasten her seat belt finally.

“Just a turbulance zone” I replay back to my sit trying to get confortable.

“Just?” she whispers and I know she is going to freak out before or later. Think Eliza, think what you can do.

“Hey, we are fine, don't worry...”

“Stop telling me that! I fucking hate planes, we are gonna die in here! Let me go down, let me go out from here!”

Here it is, I shake my head and I grab her hand but this time is different and she removes hers. I need something else, something I would want from others if I would have to stay calm. Okay, I hate the darkness. I can't walk in the woods without a lantern and less if I'm alone. This is something that almost nobody knows, but what the people would do in that kind of situation with me? How I would lose the fear and stay calm for a few minutes? And the alcohol can't help.

“What would you do if we get lost in the middle of the woods at night? Just you and me, completely lost, without any light and our phones without working?” I ask.

“What?” she sighs.

“Think and tell me. You have to keep in your mind that the fear you have with planes, is my fear with darkness and it's worse if I am in the forest. What would you do?”

She starts to think. At least I'm doing my job keeping her mind away from her own fear.

“I would tell you that what you see and where you are is the same during the day. You don't have to be scared of that. Yes, is true that the animals are there, but nothing else. No one crazy will be appear to kill you, you know?” she says, looking more calm.

“No, I don't. You never know.”

“Eliza if someone crazy is in the woods, you can find it during the day. But that things only happen in movies” although she says that she seems that she is thinking about it.

“Okay, I wouldn't listen to you and I would freak out, what you would do then?”

“Kiss you” she replays and she looks at me. Alycia is not smiling so she's not joking. I didn't expect something like that so I shut up my mouth. Well, I have to admit that is a good idea, if she would kiss me, I'd probably be freaking out about that instead of my fear or I'd be quiet for a moment trying to assimilate what just happened.

The plane shakes again with so much strenght. I see how the tears appear in Alycia's eyes and how she stops breathing again. If a kiss would help me, does the same thing help Alycia in this case? But I can't kiss her. I'm just trying to get away those weird feelings for her and stop everything I have on my mind when I think of her. I need to focus and kiss her now will ruin it, but, in the other hand I have the possibility that soon I will have to kiss her if Jason wants our characters together or something like that.

“Stay calm, Aly, please” I say. “Or I'll kiss you and I promise my tongue will do its best with you” I can't keep the words inside my mouth but at least it works. She looks at me with the tears rolling down and the plane, one more time, shakes.

“Will you?” she ask and I nod feeling that I'm blushing.

“Don't make me.”

“Is the third time” she whispers to herself and I see what she is thinking and what I want to hide too. “You are not capable” she stares at my lips and then my at eyes.

I feel this rare thing in my stomach that pushes me to kiss her. Is not the first time that I feel it with Aly. I tried to hide it and block any of those emotions before, but today I want to let it go and kiss her. I want to know if I really have feelings for her or if it's just a paranoia of my mind, because since she told me that maybe she likes girls too I think that maybe I do the same and...I catch my breathe. I'm totally straight.

“I am and you know that, so stay calm.” I say.

“What if I want you to kiss me? Have you have considerer that?” 

No, I haven't and now I'm starting. I said to myself like a million of times that Alycia feels something for Maia but what if she was speaking about me when she said that to me. What if I am the girl she likes or whatever and she was trying to find out if I feel something for her similar or if she had a chance with me? If this is what it really is I've been losing the time and she maybe has been hurt. Damn.

“Do you?”

She opens her mouth to answer and I wish a yes for a moment but the plane shakes and the lights turn off. The emergency lights turn on and I see Alycia squashed in her sit with her eyes close. I grab again her hand and I lance our fingers. I get close to her and I kiss her hair. It smell so good. I keep my lips there until we pass the turbulence zone and the lights back. Alycia is shaking and crying, so I clean her tears slowly singing her favourite song in her ear. I feel how she stops and I put one hand over her chest, very carefully to not touch anything that could bring me some problems. Her heart is still beating fast, but less that before.

“See? We are fine” I say smiling and I kiss her hair again.

“Thanks” she whispers closing her eyes.

We both stay quiet and fall sleep. When I wake up I find that we are covered by the same blanket and that my hand is still over her chest. She's breathing calmly what makes me feel so happy. I get my hand to his arm and I caress her skin thinking that I didn't get a real answer about if she wants to kiss me or not, but I guess I'll have time for that, however, I get close to her face and kiss her cheek near to her lips, brushing them.

“I do, Aly, I do want to kiss you”.


	10. -The first third day-

Bob POV  
I don't know how many months have passed since I saw the last time this place which has been my home for two years and it will be for one more at least. The set is a big place. We have everything in here, the warehouse, the dressing room, the writers room, the make up room, the reunition room, etc. We also have a parking where there are the cars of the set that drive us to the places where we film and our own cars that drive us to the hotel that is not far from here. I really love this because we have the nature surrounding us and the people who I work with are simply incredible.

“Bob, are you the first one to arrive?” I turn and I find that Jason is here.

“Hey, boss, what's up? And yes, it seems that I'm the first one of the actors that arrive at time” I laugh.

He laughs with me and he gets close, looking at the woods. “Do you want some spoilers from this season?” he whispers.

“Is this a kind of joke? Jason giving to someone spoilers? Are you drunk?” I replay.

“Not yet, but I heard that there will be some alcohol in the reunition room...just saying” I start to laugh again. “C'mon, pick a character and I'll say something about he or she”.

Well, this is that kind of things that only can happen once in life. I look at the sky thinking of my election because if I'm smart, I can figure out what will happen with more than just one character. If I say Octavia I'll have something about Bell and Lincoln too. If I say Murphy I'll have Jaha maybe, if I say Clarke I don't know what I'll have. This is difficult because I wish know everything.

“Lexa” I say. “Alycia is back so it's interesting what is going to happen with her. Will she meet Clarke? Will Clarke want some revenge? Will Raven fight with the grounders cause Finn died for nothing?”

“We will know more about Lexa and her past because someone will remind her everything doing something that she won't like at all. Maybe Bellamy won't either, who knows?”

I smile. I don't know who will be that person that will remind Lexa her past, but I know that Clarke will be hurt or something if Bellamy won't like it. I don't try to ask anything else because I know the result; nothing. Jason only says spoilers when is good for the actors to know about it or when he is happy, like right now.

“And Finn didn't die for nothing, just wait and see. Oh, look, it's Elycia there.”

“Who is Elycia?” I ask raising an eyebrown.

But I don't need an answer, when I look where Jason is looking, I see a blondie girl carrying a big suitcase and a brunette girl doing the same thing and telling something that makes Eliza laugh. So, Elycia is the mix of Alycia and Eliza names, interesting.

“Do you wanna some help?” I shout to them and the both raise their heads to watch who just talked.

They smile and move faster. I leave Jason behind and when I reach Eliza I hug her. Then Alycia jump to my arms. We start a conversation where Eliza tells how scared is Alycia of planes. I don't know how to explain it, but when they push each other, I can see something that I didn't notice the last time we were together. I bet that it wasn't there that time but now they have something special, something I can't explain with words, it's a kind of complicity that makes me smile.

“Look how you both have became such a good friends” Jason says when he arrives.

“It's Aly's fault, she doesn't leave me alone” Eliza replays.

“What? Am I the guilty one when is really you? Don't lie, Eliza” Aly says.

Jason looks at me and I look at him. I think the both of us have seen something that we can't explain, but definitely something has changed between Eliza and Alycia.  
“So, while we are waiting to the rest of your workmates, what about leave your things in reception so they will send everything this afternoon to the hotel and wait in the reuniton room?” Jason asks.

“That's a good idea, boss” I grab Eliza's suitcase and Jason catches Alycia's. They both leave us saying that they want to salute the make up and dressing personal.

“It's me or they look different? I mean, their relationship” Jason asks.

“I think the same” I answer. “They look more close.”

“Interesting” he whispers. “Do to me a favour, look at them closely and if you find out something...weird, tell me.”

“What kind of weird?” I ask without knowing what he means. 

“I'm sure you will know what I'm talking about if you see it. Just look at them.”

“Okay, I'll do” I say not very convinced. “Jason, how is going to be the rooms this year?”

“Some of you will have to share rooms, but we'll divide it at random. Girls with girls and boys with boys” he explains.

“I wonder who will be with who” I say thinking not in my luck but in Elycia's.

 

Marie POV

I reach the reunition room the last one. When I enter they all applaud me. I smile and salute with my hand leaving my packs in a corner. Bob has been saving me a sit next to him, so I sit there and I hug him. I look around seeing that everyone of the actors and the writers members are here. Eliza is in the same coach where Alycia is, Ricky is talking with Christopher and Devon, then is Jason and Kim, the new writers are staring a piece of paper...

“So, now that we all are here, we can start” Jason says getting up. “Let's see. The majority of us met a couple of months ago to discuss about the characters and the plot of season 3, so, the most of us already know what's going on in the first episode” he stops and grabs a mountain of papers that he gives to us. It's the first script. I remember the first time I was in here doing exactly the same thing but with less people that today we are. So, this is the first day of the third time, and I really hope that there will be more times like this one, but maybe I've to be worried about the fact that my character can die this season. “We start to film in three days. I want you to learn the dialogues and going here everyday cause we have new places to shoot. You have to get to know about that, is that clear?”

We all nod in completely silence and start to read the first lines of our script. I find out that Octavia will have to lead about Lincoln getting in troubles with the Sky People and Bob whispers a “holly crap” next to me. Then I hear Eliza complaining about something and saying if Jason wants Clarke dead or what.

“I tried to stop Jason, but this season nobody is safe” Kim says almost laughing. “Be prepared for anything.”

“You said the same the last two season if I remember it well” I say. “When are you going to leave us in peace?”

Everyone laughs and Jason shakes his head saying that never so I laugh too.

“Before you have to say goodbye, let's celabrete this new beggining and everything about we have to be greatful” Aaron says with a bottle of alcohol in his hand. “Don't drink too much, we need all of you safe.”

“That's for you” Alycia says looking at Eliza.

“I'll control myself tonight, don't worry” she replays but we all know that it's impossible.

“Wait!” Jason shouts . “We have to divide the rooms.”

“Divide the rooms?” I wonder.

“Yes, this year is different” Bob says. “They want to do somethig similar like the reaping day in The Hungers Games with us” he laughs.

They start with the boys, I don't pay any attention until I hear Ricky and then Bob's name, so they both are together. Later, they start with the girls. They pick Lindsey and the next paper has my name written in there. I get up and hug Linds because I wanted to stay with her in the same room. They names keep going on.

“Eliza Taylor” says Jason. “You are with...”

 

Alycia POV

The last thing I remember about the plane is that I woke up and Eliza was touching my hand's skin with her fingers. We landed and they drove us to the set. Then we have been waiting for the whole cast until now. After Jason's speech, we are doing the selection about the rooms. I can't lie. The more names they picking the more I get nervous. I want to be with Eliza, but at the same time I don't want, because that means that we will have to share everything and I have to control myself and my feelings. How will I be able to do that with her in the same room?

Marie is with Lindsey. There are a few names yet. My name and Eliza's are on those papers. Jason catches another and read her name. In the next 10 seconds I have the time enough to find out that I do want Eliza in my room. Oh yes, I don't care about anything else. I want watch her sleeping, I want to wait her sitting on my bed while she's changing her clothes, I wanna wake up and see her beautiful eyes.

I start to pray when Jason says my name. I look at Eliza who has a big smile in her face. We are together. In the same room. For months. Lord, come and save me because the heart attack is here.

“The little couple is together. The destiny has something to you!” Bob says and I feel that I'm already blushing.

“I choose the bed, unless you want to share it” Eliza whispers in my ear when everybody gets up after Jason finishes the reaping. I turn my face to watch her eyes. “It's a joke” she laughs.

But I'm not laughing. I feel that I have my heart in my throat. Eliza must to learn that she can't say that things to me without expecting me to die or something. Like I said before, everything is on fire inside of me when she is close to me.

The party starts. I don't want to drink too much cause I know that Eliza will do it and I need to be fresh for help her now we have to share the same hotel room. I see that Marie is behind Ricky hugging him by his weist. I wonder is something is between them, but I shake my head. It can't be. Bob gets close to me with a tequila shot in his hand.

“For you” he says.

I grab it and drink it. “Thanks” I say. “I prefer not drink too much.”

“Because of Eliza?” he asks driking from a bottle of whiskey.

“Yes” I nod. “You know how dangerous she can be drinking.”

“I know, but don't worry and join us, we both can take care of her.”

I don't know why I'm jealous, but suddenly I look at Bob fiercely and he notices it.

“I'm not gonna steal her from you” he says in low voice.

“I thought you only can steal something from someone if that thing is from that person, and as far as I know, Eliza is not an object and is not mine.” I say regretting it at the moment.

“Do you like her?”

What the fuck is this? I get up so does he. He looks at my eyes intensely and I can't handle it. I shake my head and say no leaving his side quickly. I open the door and run away until I reach the stairs and sit there. I'm already crying, my tears rolling down. I try to stop them and shut up, but I can't. For my own luck, no one comes, so I can cry and cry without giving explanations to anyone, although I don't know why I'm crying, to be honest.

I back to the party when it's over, as I knew, Eliza is too drunk. Bob helps her to reach our car and Michael, the driver, ride us to the hotel. Bob doesn't let me help Eliza, so he holds her in the elevator and takes her until our room, the 523.

“Well, now she's all for you” he says. “I'm in the 714 if you need something.”

“Don't worry” I say angry. “See you, Bob.”

I open the door and turn the lights on , then I take Eliza inside of it. She has been singing the same song during the whole route to the hotel. I look around the room. There are two beds in the front, a bathroom with a jacuzzi, two couches, a desk with a chair and a big TV.

“I want the bed of the right ” Eliza says going to there almost about to fall down anytime and she stops singing.

“Wait” I say grabbing her hand and leading her to the bed. “Are you able to get your clothes off?”

She tries and she finally says that no, laughing. I sit her in the bed and get off her shirt. When I have her boobs covered only with her bra I have to take a deeply breathe and continue with the shorts. I feel a bomb inside of me having Eliza's perfect body almost naked at just one touch.

“Okay, let's go to sleep” I say sending away those thoughts.

“No” she says bitting her finger while she looks at me.

“What?” I ask swalowing my own saliva

“I have something to tell you” she starts getting close to me in a sexy way. “And I know I'll only be able to say this if I'm drunk so...” she continues. “Everybody born to be different” she grabs my hand and pull of me. I fall to the bed with her, ending in the top, ”that's the only thing” she gets close her lips to my neck, “that make us the same” she finishes her sentence and kisses my neck.

I feel those butterflies in my stomach when I feel her sweet and wet lips on my skin. I open my mouth and moan. She keeps her lips kissing my neck to my ear. I close my eyes letting me go until I remember she's drunk and she will regret this tomorrow after the hangover. Although I want her to continue this, I have to stop this.  
“Stop” I say, but she's not listening. “Eliza, stop!” I push her and I move away.

“You want this as I do” she replays. “I love you and I really like to kiss you so come here and kiss me.”

For a several seconds I wish that it could be the truth, but I know that this is the effects of the alcohol, so I have to tell myself over and over again that Eliza is drunk while she's getting close again. She holds my head between her hands and gets close her lips to mines. I close my eyes in wince and when her lips are brushing my lips, I remove myself.

“You don't want to kiss me, you are only drunk. Go and sleep.”

She starts to complain, but I leave her and lock myself in the bathroom to cry again. After an hour, I back to the beds and find that she's already sleeping. I cover her with the sheets, turn of the lights and change my clothes before I put myself in my bed. After a while, I hear a voice.

“Aly?” Eliza asks but I don't replay. “I may be drunk but I know what I feel, and what I feel for you is more than a friendship. I know I can't tell you this because things will change, but maybe I like girls too.” I feel a shiver for my entire back. “Well, not girls, only you.”


	11. -Reality is better than fiction-

Eliza POV My brain is going to explode. I swear this is the worst pain in the entire world I've ever had, although is the same thing I always say when I have a hangover, to be honest. I don't remember how many I drank or what I did so it had to be too much even for me. I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Alycia's angel face. She's just too close to me that I can feel her breathing, still asleep. I move away trying to not make any noise when I find out that I throw the sheets. I look at my body. I'm almost naked. I feel how I suddenly blush. What the hell happened last night?

She opens her eyes, so I catch the pillow and I cover my body with it, smiling at her when she realizes that we are in the same room and that I'm almost to show my body, but then she stares at me from my hair to my legs and she laughs.

“Oh my! Eliza, don't worry, I already saw you” she says in the middle of her laugh attack.

“What do you mean?” I ask hoarsely.

“Who do you think that took your clothes off?”

Oh, no. Tell me that this is just a nightmare. Alycia taking my clothes off? I almost naked in front of her? No way. I want to remember everything but maybe is better in this way. I don't know what I did exactly and something feels that if I remeber it, I couldn't see at her eyes again.

“Tell me that I didn't do anything stupid.”

“Not really” she answers stretching. “But you said something really funny.”

“What I said?” I ask not sure about want to know the truth. When I'm drunk I usually say anything that keeps on my mind the whole day like feelings or future plans that when I'm fine I don't want to share.

“It doesn't matter, I almost can't remember it” she lies, because I know when she's lying, so or it's in order to protect me or she wants to protect herself.

“Are you lying to me, Alycia Debnam-Carey?”

“Fuck” she grabs her pillow and presses it against her chest, “you said my complete name, this is serious.”

“Of course it is, now tell me.”

Aly opens her mouth to repeat what I said last night, but someone knocks the door of our hotel room and she gets up. I don't know what happen next because I lose the control of my senses, but when I see Alycia's legs moving to the door, I can't not roll my eyes up to her ass and keep them there until Marie and Lindsey enter into the room.

“It's late” Marie says. “Do you know that we have to go to the set, right?” then she looks at me and frowning, later she moves her eyes until she finds Alycia. “What were you both doing?” she asks laughing.

“Nothing” I replay and I run to the bathroom. 

I hear Linds and Marie laughing and Alycia trying to explain that is not what it seems. I look my face in the mirror and I clean it. When I feel the fresh water in my skin, a remember comes to my head. I was so hot last night watching Alycia taking my clothes off. When she touched my skin with her fingers I felt static electricity for my entire body. I don't remember very well what happened next, but I think I tried to kiss her or something like that. Damn it!

They leave the room so I can go out of the bathroom and dress up. I catch the first thing I have in the suitcase and I go downstairs quickly. They all are waiting for me in the parking. I run to them and enter in the first car Linds points, but after I can do anything, I see Alycia far, so we are not going to be in te same car. I usually don't care about with who I am, but today I do. I need the neccesity of stay next to her and the worst thing is that I can't stop it.

“How are you?” Bob asks me when he reaches his sit.

“I could be better” I say anger.

“Okay, calm down. Another one in this mood, interesting...” he says.

“What are you talking about?” 

“Alycia, she's mad at me too” he laughs. “Maybe it's because I stole you from her last night.”

“What?” I feel the panic in my chest. “Did you go to our room last night after the party?”

“No” he shakes his head, “but I took you to your room and she wasn't happy with that.” He pauses. “Maybe I'm wrong, it was a crazy night.”

The conversation ends and we are quiet the whole ride but my mind keeps thinking about what Bob said, about Aly being mad. What if she was jealous? I don't remember anything pretty well to say something about what happened, but I bet that it could be possible. I'll try to stop those thoughts because I know that if I can let them go on, I'll have some hope about Aly feeling something for me and that's wrong and it can't simple happen, so I stop.

We reach the set where everybody is already there. Our cars are the last ones, like always, it's like the new normal the few first days we are working in here. When I see the papers in the hands of everyone I remember about the script and I hit softly my forehead. I just forgot it. Well, anyway we are not going to film anything today, so I'm saved.

“Okay, listen to me everybody!” Jason says. “We are gonna be divided in two groups, the first one will go with me to the new places and the second will go to the old places with Kim. So, I'll say the characters that are with me. Clarke” I start to move toward him when I pass next to Aly. She looks at me and I smile. “Lexa.” Alycia moves and walks quickly. We reach Jason at the same time and stay together in silent. “Indra, Nyko, Echo, Octavia, Lincoln, Jaha and Murphy.

We go to the new places in cars and this time I'm with Aly. She's behind me, but I don't know why I'm feeling better knowing that she's next to me. In around twenty minutes we are there. It's a woods zone but there is a big green meadow. I open my mouth impressed about what I'm seeing because it's really beautiful. There is a small rill and a few cabins. This is going to be a hunt village where Echo will be leading her group of people. Jason starts to explain that they have too much work yet putting more things and making it better, then we keep walking across the forest. We reach a place where there are ruins and more cabins, but these ones are bigger. They have another appearance like if they were more stronger.

“This, darlings, will be Polis. Don't worry, it will seems like a small city soon” Jason winks.

He tells us what we need to know; where we are shooting, where will be the cameras, when we will use everything and who. I know that I'll go here, or at least try, but then Jason says that I won't see Polis after another important thing that has to happen first. Then he focuses on Lexa and that stuff.

“Did you read the script yet?” Aly asks looking at Jason.

“No, what's more, I forgot it in the room.”

She swallows and looks at me quickly. She gets close. Aly seems so nervous and I don't like it.

“Well, we have an scene.”

“What? It's too early for meet again” I say.

“I know, but is not a real scene between Lexa and Clarke, it's a Lexa's dream, and guess who is kissing who?”

“Are you kidding me?” I ask to her feeling something strange in my stomach.

The people start to move back but we stay here, in front of each other. Suddenly, Aly takes another step toward me. I take a step behind. She takes another one so do I. We start this game that remind me what we did shooting that scene in Lexa's tent but with Aly in my situation. I hit a tree so I can't move more. She gets closer and I try to calm down. She has to be joking, but the reality is that she seems to be calm, without showing her feelings. She looks at my lips and I look at hers. I'm just able to think that I do want to kiss her, even if it's just for practise. Our lips are almost touching and the butterflies on my stomach are flying free.

“And here is the kiss, but before I have to say a few lines, just like you did with me” she whispers laughing and moving away.

I catch my breathe again, but I trip over when I try to move, Aly is fast and holds me in the last time, however she lose the balance and we both end in the ground. I start to laugh over her and she smiles staring my eyes. I don't know how it happens but I find myself kissing her in her lips quickly, too quickly. When I move away, she's still smiling like if nothing just happened. But I did it. I kissed Alycia without being working, and the fact is that reality it's better than fiction.


	12. -False Alarm-

Alycia POV

Something wakes me up. It's a noise, like someone throwing things to one place to the room to the other side. I open my eyes. It's still night out there. I see a small light in a corner of the room and Eliza sitting on the floor looking for something in her suitcase. She's throwing everything that ends in her hands. I take my fingers to my lips and touch them thinking that a couple of days ago she kissed me. It was really quick and fast, but I felt her sweet touch on my lips during a second and that just gave me a reason to keep fighting for my feelings. She wasn't drunk, she was awake and she did it. I know that maybe was the situation, I mean, I pushed her to do it making the scene real, but she hadn't a reason to do it, we weren't practising or something like that.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

She stops for a second and then continues. I see how she seems to be crying and the smile of fool that I have, disappear. I get up and walk slowly towards her. Eliza tries to hide her face but I sit in front of her and put my hand in her arm. She moves away so do I.

“Leave me alone, please. Sorry for wake you up” she says.

“Eliza, what happend?” I wonder. “Tell me, I'll try to help you.”

“No, you couldn't help me even if you'd want it to.”

I frown and look at her serious, but she's looking at the floor, he hair hiding her face. A tear goes from her cheek to the floor and I clench my jaw. Something really bad has to happen if she is in this way. I've only seen Eliza in this way once, and was because of she thought that something happened with her family.

“You need to let it go and I'm here, just tell me, please. Trust me.”

She looks at me slowly. I see her tears and her red eyes. She has been crying for a while. I want to hug her but I know it's a bad idea, so I wait until she is able to say something. At first she tries, but the words don't leave her throat, so she continues to cry until she lets it go.

“I don't know how this could happen, well I know, but it can be possible” she starts. “Aly...” she looks at me in wince and I blink several times. “I think I'm pregnant.”

I don't understand. I feel my heart frozen. It just stopped beating and every muscle of my body is tense, unable to move even if my brain, that is still trying to work normally, wants it. Eliza pregnant. Having a baby. With a man. No. It's impossible. This doesn't make any sense. She kissed me lately, she told me she loves me when she was drunk. This is...painful.

“How...?” I try to ask but I can't. “Are you sure?”

She shakes her head and cover her face with her shaking hands. I put mine over her wrist and I get closer. She opens her arms and I hug her. She starts to say sorry, but I don't understand why. Maybe she doesn't want me to watch her in this way. I caress her hear and hold her tight.

“I'll go to buy a pregnant test” I say. “Don't worry.”

“Three months, Aly. Three months without the period” she cries.

“Do you always have a normal period?” I ask feeling how my heart is breaking into a thousand of pieces.

“I used to have a irregular period when I was a teenager, but it was normal lately, and the last time I had...” she shuts up and I perfectly know why. “I don't think it's a coincidence. The first month I thought it was normal, last month I had a mini heart attack but now...” she continues crying. “I've been drinking. If I'm pregnant...that baby...I just...”

“Shh” I'm still holding her refusing to let her go. Eliza hides her face in my chest and I kiss her head. “In case that you are, you will see the doctors, okay? I'm sure that the baby will be fine” I can't not think about that baby and the father. Three months ago Eliza had a boyfriend or what? “You need to talk with the father if you are” I sigh.

“I can't. He will be mad. I'm sure. If I'm pregnant I will have to take care about the baby alone.”

“No.” I say and move away, rasing her chin with my hand. She looks at me. “I'll be there. I won't let you alone with this. I'll take care of the baby when you need it, I'll be awake the whole night for you both and I'll buy anything you want when you want, and I'll cook for you, and do everything. You won't be alone” she smiles but it disappear instantly. “I'll be aunt Aly.”

“Or mum Aly” she laughs finally. “I'll be the evil mum and you will be the good one.”

I laugh too and hug her again. She holds me. I close my eyes imagining that kind of future. A little blond boy running behind the sweetest mum ever and I just sitting in the porch, watching them happy. I'd be holding a cup of tea, and Eliza would throw me a ball. The little boy would come to me and I would hug him, stiring his hair and kissing his cheek. I can hear him saying to me a simple “I love you mum”. I can picture the son of Eliza being my son too. I can imagine the both of us watching him growing up, taking care of him, being happy for the gift he would be.

“You know? I'll go right now to the pharmacy” I say.

“But it's late” she complains.

“I don't care” I get up, take my pocket and dress up quickly. “I'll be here in a few minutes.”

 

Eliza POV

Aly leaves the room so I end alone. I have to say that I'm so much better now after talking with her and touching her. I don't know why, lately, when I'm with her having these kind of moment where we share our thoughts, where we lose the shame and we are able to touch each other without any fear, I feel so happy, like all my problems go away and that's what it matters, that I can count with her even for having a baby. I put my hand in the belly, and for a small moment I smile thinking about that, how it would be, but then, what happened that night, the last night I had sex comes to my mind blowing up the beautiful picture.

Three months ago, after Alycia went to the USA to shoot Fear the Walking Dead, I needed to go a party, so I did. She just told about that she might feel something for girls too, and I was thinking the whole time in Maia, that she was the one who stole her heart. I didn't want to say it loud, maybe I don't want to recognize it now either, but I was jealous. I was mad and what's more I didn't understand it because, you know, I'm straight. I couldn't be jealous about my best friend falling in love with her best friend. Alycia is a girl, not a boy, so I was decided to do whatever to forget what I was feeling.

I was already drunk and the party was far away to get over, so I continued drinking. I kissed some guys, I had fun with some of them. I just went away when a girl appeared, but my brain was still thinking about Alycia. I needed something else, and I had it. It was funny, because I didn't expected to meet him in there, but he surprised me.

“Eliza?” Thomas asked.

I turned to him and smiled when I saw that he was there. I didn't say hello or anything similar, I throw the glass with the vodka I was drinking and I jumped to his lips. He was drunk as well. We made up next to the party, and then he drove me to his hotel room, we kept kissing to his room. I don't remember this part very well, I just know that he had more alcohol in his room and I continued to drink. I did it, finally. I could forget Alycia for a minutes and I loved it. He hasn't any condom, and I didn't care a damn shit, so we had sex without any protection.

“What happened last night can't happen again” he told me when I woke up.

“Of course” I noded. “It was just for fun and forget about everything, you know? We both were drunk.”

“I hope I helped you in the same way you helped me” Thomas said.

He had problems with a girl or something like that, so he was desesperated the same as me. Obviously I had to lie about what was happening with me, but yes, it worked. Few days later I felt so guilty, but when I called him, he seemed to be like always, like if nothing happened. It was the second time I had sex with Thomas, because yes, we did it once when we were on Spain the last year. It was so much different that the second one, cause we weren't drunk the first time. We are attracted by each other since the day one, but we were agree when we said that we never would work in a relationship, so we never dated. That's why I know that if I'm pregnant he won't like the idea and he will blame myself. He doesn't want a baby, less if I'm not his girlfriend, and I don't want to be with him anyway, to be honest, so, if I am, I would have to lie saying that the father is other guy, maybe one that I really don't know him, or call Thomas and tell him what is happening, wishing that he doesn't get mad or crazy.

“I'm back” Aly says.

“I'm not prepared to know the truth” I whisper.

“But you need to know, c'mon” she offers me her hand and I grab it. She pulls me and I get up. “Eliza, I'm here either if it's a yes and if it's a no, alright?”

“Thanks” I hug her again.

I go to the bathroom with the pregnant test and do it. I can't look at it, because in case that it's a yes, I'll have a heart attack or something. What would I do? What about my career? What about my parents? I'm not ready. I need to be in a stable relationship with someone who really cares about me and treats me like I deserve. I open the door of the bathroom with the test in my hand and I see Aly sitting in her bed, yawning. In this very moment I know it. It's she.

I take a moment to stare her. Her rowdy brown hair, her angel face, her perfect green eyes, her sweet lips, her white smile, her blush cheeks, her beautiful jaw, her skin, her body, her personality, the way she looks at me, the way she talks to me, the way she's always be there to me, no matters the hour or the distance. The way she loves me. It's Alycia. That person, it's she.

“And?” she asks deciding if walk toward me or staying in the bed.

“I can't look” I admit. “Could you do it for me?” 

She nods and walks until she reaches me. She grabs the test. Her fingers touch my skin for a second and I shiver. She looks at the small screen, but I can't see anything in her face that says to me if I am or not. Alycia is good at hiding feelings. She puts a hand in my belly and stares my eyes.

“Well, honey, your days being the sweetest mum in the world have to wait. You are not” and she smiles.

I don't take more seconds to think about it, I'm actually glad. I hug her, passing my arms around her neck. I'm still free, I've still a chance to do the things right, to be a mum in a relationship and when I'm prepared, not now. She holds me by the weist and I feel her breathe in my ear. Now that I think about that, we've never spoke about the kiss and I think it will be too much if I kiss her again, so I don't do it.

“Call me crazy, but I pictured you having a baby. A beautiful boy” she says and I smile.

“Where were you in there?” I ask.

“In our house, I mean, your house” she says after a little moment. “Remember? I'm the good mum.”

“Oh, yes. But if I have the boy, you have to have the girl. I need my son to have a sister” I joke.

“It's that a kind of deal?” I nod. “Okay, I'll take your word, mum of my daughter” she laughs.

“Aly” I call her and she shuts up. 

“What?” she sighs.

“This was a false alarm, but I do want you be next to me the in real one. Will you?”

“I'll be always be there for you and your family” she promises.

“Our family” I whisper to myself and hug her tight feeling something new inside of me, something that wants to keep Alycia the mum of my children, the person I want to see every morning when I wake up, the person I want to my side in the good moments, the person I want to make happy everyday, the person I want to get old with. The person who I want to be with.


	13. -Good at hiding feelings-

Marie POV

“Okay, it's our first week filming and it's finally done, are we going to do something or not?” I ask looking around the entire group.

They seem so tired. All of them in the couches and even in the floor. We are in the reunition room, where we meet everyday after film. I know that maybe is too much going to somewhere and drink or whatever, but it's a tradition do it, and I wanna keep it.

“What about order some pizzas and stay in here? We can play some games” Bob suggests.

“Yeah, why not?” Richard nods.

“It's okay” Lindsey says.

“We are in” Eliza says from the bottom of the room with Aly next to her.

“I'll order the pizzas” Devon gets up with his phone in his hand and walks away the room.

“Alright! Done” I smile sitting again.

“What games do you wanna play?” Ricky asks.

Bob takes a moment to think it. Maybe not the whole room notice it, but I can see how he looks very quickly at Eliza. He smiles and says that the bottle game could work. I only played it once. It's easy and funny and a good way if you wanna know the truth about the people or kiss someone you can't kiss without playing the game.

Surprisely, everybody is agree so, when the pizzas arrive the set, we sit in the floor and Bob puts in the middle of the circle an empty bottle. He explains the rules. It's simple. Someone moves the bottle, making it spin, when the top of the bottle points someone after stops, that person has to decide if she or he wants to kiss someone, to say something that is true about himself or herself aloud, or do something that we have to decide. 

We start the game. The bottle is spinning and when it stops, is poiting at me. Damn, I hate starting this kind of things, but it's okay. I pick the second choice; say the truth about something they want to know about me.

“Is someone here that you like right now?” Bob asks.

“Seriously?” I say looking at Bob like a killer but he nods smiling. “Of couse, I love you all.”

“But, who do you love the most?” he asks. 

“Sorry, but it's just a question per turn” I replay.

The game continues. I move the bottle and when it stops, it points at Ricky. I look at him and he looks at me at the same time. Our eyes find each other and I smile. He chooses the same as me, and this time it's me the one who have to decide what I want to know about him. I take a moment thinking what I don't know to make the most of this situation.

“If you were ask to date someone in this room, who would you rather?” I ask.

Ricky looks around the whole room and I clench my fists. May I shouldn't ask that, what's more, I shouldn't want to know the answer. I'm supposed to be in love with another guy, right? So, I shouldn't feel like this kind of jealousy. His eyes stop when he finds Eliza. I look at her, but she's not focus in the game right now. Alycia neither. The both are near to each other, smiling at each other and telling something in low voice. Suddenly, Aly puts her hand over Eliza's belly and this one hold her hand. I open my eyes like dishes. What the hell are they doing?

I look at Ricky again and he nods. I'm sure that he already has something thought to do with them. Bob, who is next to me, gets closer and whispers that if I've seen that. I nod and then the people start to cough; they want Ricky to answer the question.

“You” he says looking at me. “I know you, and you are an incredible person, why not?”

“Okay, let's continue. You will have the time enough to speak about this later” Bob laughs.

“C'mon, it's just a game” I say, but I hope Ricky wants to tell me if this is real or not.

Back to the game again, the bottle points Eliza this time. Ricky is the one who has to decide over her decision. She takes her time to think, but finally she says that wants to kiss someone. She doesn't pick anyone, so Ricky has to do it for her. I'm thinking that he will choose Aly, but I'm wrong. He picks Bob, so Eliza has to kiss him.

Eliza gets up and walks toward Bob. I don't understand why Ricky chose him, but when I look at him I can see that Ricky is staring Alycia. I look at her and I see that she is looking at Eliza carefully. It seems that she's going to get up anytime and she will run to stop it, but she clenches her jaw and looks at the floor when Eliza kisses Bob. Everybody in the room, except Ricky, Aly and me, whistle to them. Devon starts a joke about that it's a pitty the fans can't get a real bellarke kiss and how Eliza and Bob can kiss anytime, not just for an stupid bottle game.

I think we all (the people that were present that day) are remembering how many times they kissed because they wanted to try, you know, just for practise. But Eliza is not happy with that. Although we are joking, she seems to be upset and she's not laughing. Aly either. I understand instantly that something is between the both of them. I saw them too close these past few days, like, I don't know how to explain it, but there is something in the air that changes when they are together. Ricky, Bob and I were talking about this last night, and we all were agree that maybe we are missing something, then Bob confesed to us that Jason wanted him to watch them closely, so that's what we are doing right now.

I'm a girl, so I can be more emotionally than the guys and I can see beyond what we have in front of our noses. Maybe they think is just chemist between Eliza and Alycia, but I spent more time than they with the girls, and I can say it aloud; they are different, not with the rest of us, but with each other. The looks, the smiles, the fact that they both spend the whole day together, the love you can feel staying near to them. I won't say it yet, but I could swear that they are in love, at least Alycia, because everytime a guy, Bob especially, touches Eliza, of says something to her in a lovely way, even when it's just a joke, she bits her own tongue. 

“Okay, here we go. What do you want to know about me?” Devon asks because the game continues.

“Tell us your most dirty secret” Eliza says.

“Easy. I have something hidden in here” he smiles and gets up. “Consider this a kind of present.” Behind a desk, Devon grabs something wrapped in paper. He opens it and we all see a full bottle of tequila.

“Oh my!” I scream. “How you could have this and not tell us?”

“More easier. I was waiting for a moment like this. Although I love this game, I want to play other thing” he looks around the room. “It's something I learnt this summer. I just need lemon and salt.”

“I'll go” Alycia says. “The kitchen it's near, let's keep playing the bottle game.”

Eliza tries to stop her holding her hand, but Alycia moves it away. Bob nods when I look at him. There's definitely something that we are totally missing and I have to discover what it is. Eliza goes behind her and I do as well. I try to go slow because I don't want they to find out that I'm following them.

“Aly, please, wait for me” I hear Eliza claiming to Aly.

“Leave me alone, okay? I just need a moment. Give me that at least.”

“Why are you in this way? Aly, wait! Just tell me.”

I stop walking when they turn a corner but I keep listening them, trying to get concentrated about what they are saying.

“There is something I don't understand about you” Aly says resentfully.

“What?” Eliza wonders.

“You kissed me and then you acted like it never happened. Today you were totally close to me, holding my hand, saying to me those beautiful things, make me smiling the whole time, and then, you pick the kiss thing when the bottle pointed you. You kissed Bob like if you like him, do I am wrong?”

Woah. Okay, okay. What did she say? That they kissed? When? Why? It has to be lately, and Aly is totally mad because Eliza kissed Bob, what makes this even more interesting. Do I have to supposed that Aly is in love with Eliza and she knows about this? Well, maybe Eliza corresponds those feelings and the fact that she kissed a boy, not just a sporadic guy, but Bob, is hurting Aly.

“I pick the kiss because I thought they were say your name, not Bob's, okay? I don't feel anything for him.”

But what about Alycia? I start to wonder many things that I wish ask to them right now, but I know that it would be a big mistake, so I just limit myself to hear what they are saying.

“I don't care, you know? I don't care” Alycia responds.

“What do you want? Do you want a kiss? That's what do you want?”

“No. I just want the truth. I just want you to stop confusing me” Alycia says and she leaves, but Eliza don't follow her.

I need to fix this.

 

Eliza POV

I screwed it all. Again. I kissed Bob pasionatelly, I have to admit it, but I thought that nobody will care about that. Well, Aly does, or did, because since we went back from the kitchen she has been fine, like always with the rest of them, but different with me. Yes, maybe I deserve it. I'm doing what she said to me like twenty minutes ago; I'm confusing her with my actitude. Alycia told me that maybe she likes girls too, and I'm just being provocative with her. I have to stop it. It's that or try to admit something that I have deeply buried inside of me and something that I'm not sure that is a good idea to show up. What I know is that Aly doesn't deserve this. She deserves someone that loves her anytime, and I'm not able to do that. Not yet.

“So, now we have the things we need, I want to explain this game” Devon starts. I look at Alycia, who is far from me since we went back, but she is concentrated in our friend. “It's basic, everyone has to drink a tequila shot. The last one to finish it has to lick some tequila on the neck of the first one. We are too much people, so we'll divide us in two groups. The first one has to watch the second drinking and say who is the first and who is the last one. We will change during the game, okay?”

We all nod. It's simple and it seems to be funny, but I have to be careful. I don't want to be the first one finishing the shot, that it's easy, and have to lick some tequila on someone's neck, unless it is Alycia's, because I don't want she to be even more mad at me for a game. For my own luck, we are in the same group, so I have a chance. The first five shots we both finish the shot at the same time, in the middle between the first and the last one, so we don't lick anyone, but we are getting drunk. We are in the seventh shot. I see Alycia finishing her shot the first and because of that delay, I'm the last one. Shit.

“Let's see” says Richard. “Aly was the first, and the last was Lindsay.”

“No” Linds says. “I finish it and then Eliza. I'm sure.”

“She's right” Marie intervenes. “Eliza is the last one.”

“So, Aly, you must to lick some tequila on Eliza's neck” Devon ends.

“Whatever” she says.

She comes to me and Marie is the one who squeezes the lemon on my neck. I frown when I feel the fine drop rolling down to my chest. Is she doing this on purpose? Then, Marie puts some salt over the lemon thread and the tequila carefully and slowly. It's done. I tilt my neck sideways and Aly crouches over me. She's getting closer and closer. I feel like a million of bombs into my stomach waiting to explode when she will does it, but when I feel her regular breathe against my skin, someone stop the game.

“Wait!” Bob screams.

I raise an eyebrown and I look at him. I've seen he the whole night trying to do something like this, looking at us. What he wants? Stop this because he can imagine that there is something between us that I even don't know what it is?

“Aly is the only person who wasn't participate in the other game, what about to do it now and then lick her neck?” Bob suggests. “It's fair, isn't it?”

“Yeah, I'm agree” Marie says looking at Ricky fast.

“Yes. Just pick something, do it and then finish it, Aly.”

“If it's what you want, why not?” Alycia shrugs. “Okay, I pick the choice that you have to tell me a thing to do.”

“Oh, are you sure about that?” Lindsay asks, laughing.

“Yes, I don't thing you will be bad people, right?”

“A lap dance!” Marie shots.

“A lap dance” Ricky repeats.

“What? No. No, no, no. Anything except that” Alycia complains.

“Sorry not sorry, but you already know the rules” Richard laughs.

“Defiietely, you are bad people” Aly whispers. “In front of who I have to do the slap dance?”

Marie points me. Okay. I can see it now. I'm sitting in the chair, almost drunk because of the tequila and Alycia seems to be hiding her feelings very well and she doesn't care about anything because she's angry, but I have feelings too that maybe I don't want to discover right now and a lap dance can ruin it. Marie, Ricky and Bob has a plot against me or something because it¡s not normal.

“Alright, let's do this.” Alycia says turning to me.

Someone puts some music that it's too sexy even for me. Oh my God. She's not going to do this. She's not...but she's doing it. She's moving in front of me, looking at my eyes, but without showing any feelings. I roll my eyes to see her entire body and for a moment I don't care about the rest of the people that are with us. I just have eyes for Alycia. She shakes her buttom and I get hypnoticed. She moves toward me and puts a leg up in the chair so she starts to move her hips. Her hands ends in my shoulders and she gets closer, putting her leg in the floor again. Alycia turns again, but now she searches for my hands and puts them on her waist. She starts to move sexy again. Is so hot and I didn't knew it.

“It's getting hot in here” Marie sings my song and Alycia turns to me and sits over me, my hands still on her waist. She opens her jeans and I open my mouth. So unexpected.

“So take off all your clothes” she whispers to my ear and I feel her fingers over my chest. She unbuttom my shirt. 

There is a big explosion inside of me. I can't listen the music anymore, I just can hear Alycia breathing calmly, go down across my neck, rubbing my skin, taking her time to doing this. What is fun is that she is not showing any feelings, like if she were Lexa. Alycia is naturally good at hiding feelings in front of the people, as I am, but I already know what she feels about me, and is not because she told me, because she didn't, but I can feel it everytime she touches me, or looks at my eyes. She loves me, no matters if she doesn't show it right now.

Alycia licks the tequila over my chest and I close my eyes feeling her wet tongue on me. She keeps licking my skin until the neck softly. She moves away slowly and we find our eyes. I'm totally blushed, but she is also. I look at her lips and she stares mine. I think that is a good idea if someone says something and breaks the magic that is envolving us, but everyone is quiet, waiting for it. 

Suddenly, the lights go out. Everybody start to scream and shout and even to laugh. I can't see Aly anymore, but I exactly know where are her lips and she knows it too. At what we are waiting? I press her weist and she crosses her hands behind my hindhead.

“I think I left some tequila, let me clean it up” she sighs and I nod.

She licks my neck again while the rest of the people, who are not seeing this, trying to find out what happens with the lights. Alycia kisses my skin and I hold her face to stop her. I feel how she starts to be conscious about what she is doing, but I don't let her giving up, I close my eyes and I bring my lips near to hers. There are just a few millimeters separating us from kissing, but when we are going to kiss, the lights go back and the magic ends.


	14. -Jealousy-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. It takes me too long to post this chapter and I want to apologize, btw, I hope that everyone likes this chapter because it marks a before and an after in this love story. Thanks for the support and for keep reading! See you guys :3

Lindsey POV

I received an early call this morning from Jason. There is a big storm arriving Vancouver and because of that we are not filming today, so the whole cast have an unexpected free weekend. I know the majority of us are going to stay in our hotel rooms, first because we are lazy people (yes, I don't wanna get up from my bed right now) and second because the weather is a real shit and we won't be able to go to many places.

I turn and I see Marie opening her eyes. She doesn't know about the new yet, so may I'll be bad and I won't tell her after a while.

“God, my head is torturing me. What time is it?” she asks holding her phone and watching the hour. “Oh my God! Linds is too late. The car have left the hotel like an hour ago. Hurry up!” She gets up quickly and runs to her wardrobe.

“Don't worry” I say almost laughing. “Jason called this morning; we are not working today, neither tomorrow. Surprise!” and I smile to her.

“What?” she walks towards the bed again slowly. “Are you serious?” She sits and I nod. “Oh, that's fantastic. We should go to somewhere and doing anything. I'm calling the girls.”

“Hold on! There is a big storm arriving Vancouver, that's why we are not filming today. I don't know if it's a good idea go to somewhere.”

She closes her mouth and starts to think, then she smiles and looks at me. I frown wondering what idea just crossed her mind but she is faster and tells me before I have the chance to ask.

“Okay, this is perfect. We actually can go to a cafeteria next to here with them. I just have to...” She looks at me and bits her lip. “There's something I need to tell you.” I look at her worried. “Look, what do you think about Eliza and Aly?”

“I don't know, what do yo mean?”

“I mean that there is something happening between them. Have you seen them? How they look at each other, how the touch each other, how they speak to each other. Everytime they are together, no matter if I'm there or you or a hundred of people, it seems that we are not there.”

I think about it. Yes, there is some truth in Marie's words. Aly and Eliza seems to treat each other in a kind of different way now. There are closer, and it seems that they have even more chemistry that the last year. If I take a deep look in these past few days I can find out that they are like a couple, but I know that they aren't. I mean, I don't care if they have feelings to each other and want to stay with the other person because they are in love, but Eliza would told me, and she didn't, so it has to be in this way: maybe one of them is in love, perhaps the both of them are in love and I know Eliza enough to say that in that case she is trying with her soul to not show her feelings.

“You're right, I guess. It's true that lately they both are closer and that, but, I don't know, what if you are wrong?”

“Of course I can be wrong, but there are more people in this. Lindsey, you can't say anything about this to them. You need to be carefully or they will be mad at me forever. Do you remember last night the bottle game and Aly going to the kitchen and Eliza followed her?” I nod. Marie followed them too. “Okay, when I went behind them, I heard a conversation. Eliza kissed Aly and it wasn't during the show. I heard too that Eliza confuses Aly with her acts to her and that Eliza pick the kiss choice because she thought that we would say Aly, not Bob.”

“Oh my God!” I scream. “So, this is real?”

“Elycia could be real, but they need a push.”

“Really?” I raise my eyebrown. “Do they have a ship name?” I laugh.

“It's a Jason thing” I open my eyes like dishes. Jason. Our Jason. They Jason that is like our father knows about them. Where were I was this whole time? ”Yes, he told Bob to look closely to them because he felt that something was happening the first day. Bob told Ricky and Ricky told me. We are like a team. Sorry about not telling you this before but I wanted to make sure that we're not crazy.”

“You're a little bit, to be honest, but it's okay, continue” I say.

“So, today is a perfect one to make that push” she beggins. “What we need is to reunite them in a place and make Alycia jealous. You could be that one?”

“The one who make the push putting my friend in a jealous situation?”

“We have to plan it, are you in or not?”

I take a small moment to think about it. I perfectly know that is a bad idea and something wrong will happen, but I want to help. Maybe we can push them into a fight where their feelings came out and then, I will speak to Eliza and I'll make sure that she tells me everything she feels.

“Yeah” I answer. “I'm in.”

 

Maia POV

I knock the door and I wait. I don't hear any noise, but in reception they told me that every actor is still inside so I keep waiting. I ring the timber bell, but again, nothing. I don't wanna call Aly because this is a surprise and a “hey, Alycia, it's me, open your hotel room for a while” will ruin it. When I'm almost to give up, someone opens the door and looks at me. It's Lindsey, not Aly or Eliza.

“Hey, I'm Maia, a friend of Alycia, is she there?” I ask.

“No. She must to be in her room yet.”

“I thought it was this one.”

“No” she smiles. “It's the 523.”

“Okay, thanks.” I say and she closes the door. I can hear another woman asking about who was at the door.

I leave this floor and I get the elevator to go to the next one. This time it's Eliza who opens the door. I feel how something in me wants to punch her if I think that she's sleeping next to Aly, but I don't allow that thing to do it, and I force a big smile. She hugs me and invites me to enter the room. It's big and clean. It smell a mix of chocolate and a sweet hint of tropical fruit in the air. It's a mix of Eliza and Alycia in the air and I don't like it.

“She's in the shower” Eliza explains to me. “Well, where this visit came from?”

“I just wanna be here for my vacations and I thought that she would glad to see me.”

“Oh, yes. I'm sure about that.”

“How is she?” I ask and I look at her eyes.

Eliza removes her eyes quickly and looks around the room until she finds some point to stare. She shakes her head, then she smiles, but it disappear instantly. She swallows and I know that something has happened and she doesn't know how to say it or how to start.

“I don't know. We are fine, I think. We have some moments that I want to delete but even when we fight I know that later we will be okay. It's...weird.”

That thing that wants to punch her inside of me just wants to do it again with more strength. Is she admiting that something, something like being a couple, like fall in love, like give an opportunity, just happened? Oh my God! But that's impossible. Aly would told me, or maybe not? I need to speak to her right now.

“So...I will take her to a cafeteria, you know, I need to catch up with the news.”

“Take careful, the weather is not fine.” Eliza replays.

“Yeah. Don't worry. I know how to treat her.”

And there it is. She looks at me and she seems to be anger, like if what I said, hurts her in some way. I don't know why I said it, because I don't wanna start a fight, but I'm sure that I'm better than Eliza to her. I mean, c'mon, I've been living with Aly in Australia for too long, I know what she likes and what she hates, what she loves to do in a hot day or in a cloudy day like today. I know her preferences, her kind of music and the movies she likes to watch. I know everything about her, but what about Eliza? Does she know everything I do?

Aly appears with a towel covering her body. I look at her without saying anything, but Eliza is staring at her too. I get up and I push her on purpose. I walk towards Aly and hugs her from behind. She's wet but I don't care.

“Eliza! What are you doing?” she asks and I feel her happiness in her voice what makes me even more jealous than before.

“It's not her, it's me. Your girly girl” I say.

“Maia!” she screams and she turns to hug me tight.

I can't see Eliza's face but I do a mental note in my head: Maia 1- Eliza 0.

 

Marie POV

“How the hell is she here?” I ask walking in circles around the room.

“I don't know. I didn't expect that either” Lindsey says.

“This ruins everything” I continue. “Maia is her best friend. Now, we can't do any plan.”

“How said that?” Bob wonders entering my room. “Maia is here, and what?”

Ricky is just behind him. The both of the boys looks at my naked legs. Damn! I grab the first jeans I see and I enter in the bathroom to change myself and clean my face. When I'm done, I back to the room to sit in my bed and hear their originals ideas about what we are going to do.

“Well you said that you want make Alycia jealous, right?” Linds asks and I nod. “Now with Maia we can make Eliza jealous too. I think is not going to be difficult. If I push Aly with Eliza, she will do the same with Maia.”

“So, what's the plan?” Ricky asks. “We all go to any place and you Linds will do the whole job?”

“No, we three will be watching every move from the distance. Anything that tells us that they are in love, that they like each other, anything” I say.

“Okay, remind me why are we doing this” Bob says.

“Because we want to help them to being a couple, you know, only if they are in love.”

* * *

So, when we prepare ourselves, we go to Elycia hotel room. Eliza opens the door and says that Maia was in there and that she and Aly left the hotel to go a cafeteria. Well, we have the middle of the plan already done. The first part in the coffee right now. Ricky, Bob and I say that we want a warm coffee too and we leave, leaving behind Linds with Eliza. Now is her turn. She has to convince Eliza that is a good idea to go to that cafeteria where Maia and Aly are.

Out, it's rainning. There aren't people walking in the street and only a few cars in the road, I think, heading back home. We start to look for them in any cafeteria we see, until we find it. They are involved in a conversation and don't notice that we are here. We decide to sit in the botton. Ricky and Bob in front of me, and I looking directly to them. I hold my phone and write to Linds the name of the coffee we are. Now we just have to wait.

 

Lindsey POV

It takes me too long that I planned to get Eliza going to the cafeteria. She clearly doesn't want to stay with them, and I start to wonder why. I need to do my best today, like if we are in a show or a film. I need to act if I want to get this, and so do the rest of our small team.

We reach the coffee and enter. I quickly see where are Marie and company, with their coffees and pieces of cakes in the table. I nod to them to say that we are working. 

“Maia, Aly!” I say. “What's up?”

“Guys, sit with us” Aly says and I smile.

Eliza sits in front of Maia while I'm in front of Aly. Okay, this is good, the plan is already starting. I order two coffees, that one that Eliza loves and my favourite. I know that only I knows about the coffee because it has a story behind that happened when I was with her six month ago.

“I didn't know that you like that flavour” Aly complains.

“That's because I only know, right, honey?” I look at Eliza and show my tongue to her.

“Right” she says. “But because you were with me in that moment” she answers.

We start to laugh. I don't like to make Aly feel bad, but I need to get her angry and jealous if we wanna prove that they feel something for each other, so I have to reach the next level.

“Oh! You know what, Eliza? I learnt a couple of steps about massage. Do you wanna try it?”

She, of course, says yes, so I put my hands in her back and start to do it. It's true that I know something about massages, but I'm far to be a professional, however, this counts on my purpose. I look carefully at Aly, who stares Eliza's face. Maia, in the other way, is helping us without knowing the plan. She holds Aly's arm and caresses it.

“I prefer this, is more relaxing” Maia says and Eliza opens her eyes to see it.

Now that Aly has Eliza's attention, she gets closer to Maia. So, yes, I would swear that the jealousy is coming. Eliza has her cheeks red of anger when Maia crosses her fingers with Aly's fingers and continues caressing her skin.

“You know what? Maybe my shirt is bothering your job, just put your hands behind it and continue, Linds” Eliza says to me and Aly looks at her eyes. I can see how the sparks are flying in the room when their eyes find each other.

“But-” I try to complain but Eliza doesn't give me the chance.

“Just do it” she orders without apart her eyes from Alycia's.

And I do it. I put my hands behind Eliza's shirt and go up caressing her skin. I'm making sure that Aly is noticing it, feeling in my stomach a kind of knot. I see beyond Maia and Aly to find Marie's head nodding to me. God, this is going to give me some problems in the future, I'm watching it.

“Oh, what a nice gesture on your part. Could you teach me? I'm sure that Aly would like it.” Maia asks me.

“Or better I can do it now I know how” Eliza responds quickly.

“Stop it” Aly whispers.

Maia gets closer and passes her arm around Aly's shoulders. Eliza removes and takes a sip of her coffee. She burns her tongue, but instead of leaving her cup in the table and wait to it get colder, she takes another one. She winces, but she does it again. I looks at Marie and nods. Both of them are jealous, but with this we can't work in the second part of the plan; talk with Eliza about her feelings. I need something else, something that pushes the situation.

“Well, Aly, I completly forgot it! What a lap dance last night, huh?” I start.

“Yes, I guess so” she says looking at the table, blushed.

“What lap dance?” Maia asks looking at me, confused.

“Well, we were playing some games and Aly had to do a lap dance in front of Eliza. She's hot, right?” and I poke Eliza in her ribs.

“Totally” she answer. “It was a pleasure for every person in the room have that show. I, specially.”

“Stop it” Aly whispers again.

“Well, Aly, you should show me your new talent. I didn't know it” Maia says.

“It's clearly that you can't know everything about her” Eliza sighs.

“I know so much more than you. Do you think that you already know everything about her? Well, wait, Eliza, because you will never be I. I'm her best friend, you are new here, so let it go.”

Okay. SOS, I didn't figure out this. Gosh, I need to stop it before it's too late.

“And do you think that you deserve her friendship more than I because you were there before? That's stupid.” Eliza says and I just wanna clap to her words.

“Stop it” Alycia says.

“I know her, I know how to treat her, I'm better than you with her! I know everything I need to know to make her happy if I want” Maia shouts and looks at Eliza resentfully.

“At least I know how to love her and let the things go if I'm going to hurt her, not like you” Eliza says that and I see the tears rolling down her face.

Okay, this has been too far. I can't do this with my friend, she's suffering. I don't care if it's because she likes Aly or not, but I can't let a person treat Eliza in that way, I don't care if she is famous, friend of a friend or whatever.

Eliza gets up and throws her cup. I bet that she didn't it on purpose, but the whole warm coffee ends in Maia pants. While Maia is about to have a panic atack and Eliza is just about to start to cry, Alycia puts her hands in her head and shakes it. I'm feeling so bad because in part it's my fault, but also it's clearly that these ladies need a conversation about what just happened because is not a thing about one day, this came from another time. Eliza finally leaves, and I get up to go after her and try to calm her, but Alycia gets up too.

“Don't. I'll speak to her, you stay in here with Maia and make sure that she doesn't do anything stupid” Alycia says and I nod, without any intention to try to change her mind. “Oh” Another thing, tell to Bob, Ricky and Marie, that are just in back, to stop this right now. They are getting this more difficult that in fact is.”

“I'm sorry” I say. “But, what are you going to do?”

“Fix this.”


	15. -The not date-

Alycia POV

I run under the rain looking for Eliza. I see her blond hair far away, running too. I run even more faster praying for not to fall in the wet floor. It was a bad idea come to the cafeteria in a day like this one, but it was even worse when I decided to invite Eliza and Linds to sit with us, when I noticed that the other part of the group was in there before they arrived. Yes, I knew that something was coming last night with the games and the lap dance, but I didn't expect that they would follow me and try to do something like this. What I'm wondering is if Eliza knew about the plan (or whatever is this) or she didn't know anything.

“Eliza!” I scream, running faster. “Wait, please!”

But she doesn't stop, she keeps running and running. My feet are hurting because of the heels, but I can't stop now. It's getting colder and the rain it's even more strong that when I left the hotel.

“Eliza” I call her.

She starts to stop and I continue to run until I catch her arm and I end before her. Now she can't scape from me and that's what I want. I just need a few minutes to explain myself, although I know that anything that just happened is not  my fault. She's still crying and my heart breaks into a million of pieces. I wanna hug her but I can't. Not now.

“Hey” I say in low voice. “Don't cry.”

“Why you never stop her when she hurts me?” she asks and I bit my lip.

“I don't know” I say knowing that is not a good answer

“I guess that's she is more important than me, huh?” she smiles and she seems to be totally broken. I caress her skin and she aparts me.

 “Leave me alone, okay? I just need a moment.”

“At least, go to the hotel room. It's not a good idea to stay here.”

“And you say that? You are the reason why I'm here like this” she keeps smiling and crying.

“You don't have to see me, don't worry.”

“Oh, no, don't do that. Don't make yourself the victim.”

Before I have the chance to think what I am doing or what I'm feeling, I slap her. I open my mouth without believe what I've just did. I punched my best friend, my soulmate, the girl I think I'm in love. I slaped Eliza right in the cheek. She will never forgive me for this, and I won't either. I just don't know what to say. I wanted to fix this and now is even worse. What were I was thinking? I feel how the tears are coming to my eyes and in a few seconds I'll be crying. But Eliza stops my eyes slaping me back. I raise my head to look her eyes. She is not crying, she's not regreting anything, she's just hating and it's what I deserve.

I run again, but this time I run to the opposite direction, reaching the hotel and going upstairs all the floors until I arrive the room and I close the door behind me. Now with my back against the wood, I start to cry, to let my tears rolling down my cheeks. One of them is burning because of the slap, I put my hand over it and close my eyes. I never expect to end with Eliza like this. I don't care if it's my fault, hers or Maia's. I did something that she will never forgive me.

I spend the next hours in the bed, looking the nothing and trying to figure out why I slapped her. I think that I did because I want something more. She blames me because I never stop Maia when they are fighting with me, and I blame Eliza because with that atittude she seems to love me, because she is always jealous when Maia is next to me, so, if this is true, why she never say to me directly that she loves or whatever? I'm always waiting Eliza to do something else, something that tells me that I have a chance with her. Maybe she actually does, because in the past weeks we are very close and we are doing these kind of things that are like games. She's looking for me and I am looking for her, but then, when she's so close to me, she aparts me, she sends me away again and I don't know what  to think or what to do anymore.

Whatever, what happened today can't happen again. I need to clear up everything with Eliza but with Maia too. Even with Ricky, Marie, Bob and the new incorporation, Linds. After that, I will decide what to do. Maybe it's time to forget that I would have a chance with Eliza and let it go. I can't live in this anymore because it's hurting  me. I need to love and I need to be loved, and if Eliza can give me that it's because she is not the right person.

***

It's late. I'm starving but I didn't go to the dinner room with the rest of the cast to eat something and I didn't order anything to the room either, so I'm not going to eat until tomorrow in the breakfast. I don't care, to be honest, because I don't want to see anybody. Marie, Linds and Maia have been calling me the whole evening but I didn't replay. Eliza didn't come back, so I hope that she's with Bob or someone else safe from the horrible storm that it's outside, but suddenly, someone opens the door. 

I turn my head and I see Eliza, totally wet and shaking, entering the room with a bag in her hands. She looks at me but I can't handle it and I turn back. I hear how she's walking right to me, slowly. I close my eyes when she leaves the bag in my bed and then she keeps moving until she reaches me. She crouches and caresses my cheek.

"I'm so sorry" she apologizes.

I open my eyes and I see that she's crying. Her eyes are red so she probably spent the whole day crying somewhere. I touch her hand and I nod. I thought that I was mad at her, but it's the inverse. I'm just glad to see her and I want to apologize too.

"Me too, Eliza. I'm sorry for everything."

"It's okay" she says. "I shouldn't talk about Maia in that way. She's your best friend."

"You too, and you were right. I never stop her when she's hurting you and I should" she opens her mouth but I don't let her speak. "I'm sorry and I promise that I won't let that happen anymore. You're so important to me and I don't want anyone to hurt you."

"Aly, I want to speak with you" she swallows and I nod. "I've brought with me chinese food." 

"Oh, it was open?" she nods. "Eliza, before anything else, go and change your clothes, you are wet."

She accepts it and change her clothes, then she is back to the bed and we start to eat the food.

"Well, this seems like a date" I joke and she smiles.

"Would you have a date with me? A real one?" she asks.

I end to eat the rice I was eating and I feel how my cheek are suddenly read. Of course I would, but I don't know if she would like it, well, she's asking it and maybe that is the reason why she is doing this, because she wants one. I still don't know what she wants to talk about but everything points that is about our relationship.

"If you want, only." I say.

"What if I want?"

"Ask for it."

"Okay, so, Alycia Debnam-Carey, would you have a date with the jerk of your friend in not a friendly way?"

I look at her eyes trying to figure out if she's kidding me or something, but she's serious. My heart starts to beat faster. How many times I dream with this?

"Yes."

"Aly..." she looks at her hands. "You said may you like girls and boys, right?" I nod repeatly times. 

"Well, maybe I sound stupid, but I think the same. Well, not all the girls, just you."

I can't process it. No. It's impossible. I have to be dreaming this because is too much perfect to be real. Eliza said that she likes me. I need a moment. Just one second. What I say next could be the diference between start something serious with her or stop this right now screwing up everything.

"Are you saying that you like me?"

"Well,  you confuses me" she laughs. “I keep trying to figure out who you are to me.”

When I'm just about to tell her something, to tell her that I do know who she is to me, someone knocks the door. Eliza gets up raising her eyebrows. I can't believe that always, when we are just about to be completly sincere, someone or something breaks the moment and we never have the chance to continue it again.

Eliza opens the door and I see Maia in the other side. I get up quickly fearing that they will start a fight. Maia stares Eliza like if she was shit or worse than that. This is the time where I have to change the things, where I have to prove that I love Eliza and that I won't let anyone hurts her.

“Maia” I say. “What are you doing in here?”

“Well, I just wanted to see how are you, but I see that you are already accompained.”

“She is, goodbye.” Eliza intervines.

“Wait, why? You were doing something important or what?” Maia laughs.

“Yes” I say. “You should go, now.”

“Alycia, I went here just to see you, c'mon, this girl can wait, I can't.”

“I didn't ask you to come, and no, you are the one who can wait. Stop being rude with her.”

“Or what?”

I can't handle for more time this inmature attitude. I put my body between Eliza and Maia, pushing Eliza behind me. I look at Maia's eyes. She understand that I will defend my friend this time, but I bet that she is far from know the real motive.

“Or I'll stop talking to you. What happened today won't happen again. If you don't like Eliza is not my problem, just go away. She's is my friend and I take care of her.”

“I'm your friend too.”

“Yes, and that doesn't give you the chance to treat Eliza like a bad person. She didn't nothing to you to deserve it” I close the door without giving Maia the chance to replay. I'm tired of this. I just wanna clear up everything with Eliza and go to bed.

“Okay, that was sexy and kind, thanks.”

“Don't, is what you deserve.”

She smiles and grabs my hand. I guess that it's time. First I'll wait and then I decide what to do. She's looking for the right words. I think she's just too afraid to open her heart and let it go whatever she has hidden inside her heart. It's even difficult for me, I don't know how it has to be for her.

“Look, are you agree with me when I say that lately you and I have been like...I don't know, two girls falling in love?” she asks finally.

Her cheeks are red. She's so ashamed. I smile and I caress her arm hoping to make her feel more confident. I nod and then I hug her so softy. She hides her face on my neck. Her breathing on my skin is killing me.

“It is bad?” she continues. “It's weird.”

“Yeah, it is, I guess. What do you want to do?”

She takes a couple of seconds before answer me.

“I don't know.”

Here it is. This kind of things are the things that pull me back. I need to feel secure. I can't pretend try to do something or to be with someone when the other person doesn't know what she wants or what she needs.

“Eliza” I say and I look at her. “I do know what I want with you but I'm not telling you until you know what you feel. Clear it and then tell me. I'll be waiting right here and then, we can decide what to do. Yes, I feel that we are falling in love, but I don't know if it's real for you or just a game, so, when you figure it out, just tell me.”

I kiss her cheek, that one that I slapped this morning, then I leave her and clean my bed, later I cover myself with the sheets. I close my eyes feeling how she is still looking at me, wondering if she loves me or not. I hope she does.


	16. -Lost in the woods-

Eliza POV

How to start this? Okay, I'll try to be the fastest as I can. The last week, specifically, the Saturday, something really strange and unexpected happened. I was truly calm and suddenly Maia appeared. Okay, I'm not gonna lie, there's something that makes me sick when she is around me. So, she and Alycia went to a cafeteria, later Linds came to my room and we both ended in the same cafeteria. We sit with Aly and Maia and the tension was there since the first very moment. I don't know how it was, how I let that happen, how I permit myself going to that level, but Maia and I started a verbal fight. Alycia was saying the whole time to stop that, but I didn't listen, and I wish would do it, because maybe it would save me from the problems that then arrived.

I walked away from there and Alycia run until catch me. I was rude, and she slapped me. I slapped her back. It was so ridiculous, I know, and I don't know if I'm going to forgive myself for that, because I hit her. Is not just a friend, is more than that and she doesn't deserved it, even if she hit me first. So, she run to the hotel and I stayed in the street, with the storm arriving Vancouver, just over my head. I have to say that I cried like an ocean, not kidding. I was so upset with me and with the situation and I didn't know how to fix it, what to say, how to apologize. The hours were passing and someone found me. It was Linds.

“What are you doing in here?” she asked.

“Letting myself to die” I said.

“You idiot! C'mon, let's go back to the hotel. It's rainning hardly” she continued but I didn't listen.

“Eliza Taylor let's go. Is not that bad, you both will be okay soon.”

“I punched her. In the face. She run away from me. I don't know if she wants to see me” I said with more tears in my eyes waiting for the another amount to fall down.

“Okay, okay. I see, but, listen, I know you are mad even with yourself, but it's Alycia.”

“And what?”

“She loves you and because of that, she will forgive you. Think in this, if she slaps you, would you forgive her?”

“Actually, she did it first, and yes, I forgive her.”

“See?” Linds smiled to me, and that was like a ray of hope in the middle of the dark. “I'm going to ask you something but I don't want to listen the answer, I need you to make yourself the same question, alright?”

I noded. At that moment I didn't know what was the question, but later in the room with Aly, I understood why Lindsey wanted me to wonder it. It's funny, because everyone seem to know what I feel or think first than I realize.

“Are you in love with her?”

That question changed everything.  
So, today we're not filming. This past week has been so weird. Alycia barely speak to me. Marie and her boyfriend broke up so she is sad the whole time. Linds tries to do something with everybody but she can't do nothing so she is really disapoint, Alycia is mad at Bob and Ricky, I don't know why, and then is Jason who is upset with all of us, so, this is something that only can happen in this crew. We are going to camp.

One day and one night in the middle of the nature. No phones, no signal. Only us and the trees, the animals, the bugs and our feelings. I'm afraid, to be honest. Jason wants us to speak to each other and tell what's going on into our minds, and honestly, I have no idea of what is going on in my mind. Or in my heart. It's so complicated. I don't want to face Aly and tell that I need more time to figure out if I love her or not. If I'm already in love with her, if I even want to be, or if this is just a game of two good friends that deeply trust each other, or if she's my experimental game. Maybe I'm just confused. I don't want to hurt her. Yes, she didn't tell me directly that she loves me, but in fact she did. I know that she loves me and everyone tells me the same, so, why I'm so afraid of find out the truth about my feelings?

“Hey, what's up?” asks Marie.

“Just here, enjoying the nature” I laugh. “What about you?”

“I'm trying to do the same. Listen, I want to apologize. You know? This is supossed to be a trip to speak of our feelings and that stuff and I just want to say sorry.”

I raise an eyebrown.

“What are you talking about?”

“Linds, Ricky, Bob and I. The Elycia Squad” she looks at the ground ashamed. “We shouldn't spy you, either push you two.”

“Okay, okay, hold on. What the fuck is the Elycia Squad? What does mean Elycia?”

“You and Aly, your ship name” she smiles. “It's stupid, I know.”

“Why we have a ship name?”

“Cause we all thought that there was something between you both. But clearly, we were wrong and we pushed the things to the wrong place. Now, see where we are. I'm sorry for that. ”

“Why did you think that?” I ask.

“I don't know. You were close to each other, the way she looks at you. You seem to be the only thing that Aly cares about. The way you are always trying to protect her, like if she was made of glass or something, you holding hands, you talking like if we don't exist, the unresolved sexual tension that can be cut with a knife. Everything, but we were wrong.” 

I wait for a while, thinking in that. She's damn fucking right. We are like a couple, like two girls falling in love. But I am? Am I in love? That's what I have to figure out.

“Maybe you are right. I just need more time.” I admit.

“For what?” she asks.

“For let my feelings go out, whatever I feel or I think. I need to know if I want to be with Alycia, if I see her with me in the future, I need to figure out if I am in love with her and if I would permit it. I have to start to feel and let to block.”

 

Alycia POV

What a day. It's a mess. I don't want to stay in here. I don't want to walk across the woods. I just want to shoot, finish the day and go back to the hotel in order to sleep the whole nigth. But I have to be in here and acept that Jason is my boss and he can do whatever he wants. So, okay, I have a bag with many things, a tent, a bottle of water and a map. I'm alone, because, oh, what a stupid game!, Jason wants to do something.

The rules are simple. We all have the same things, but we are divided in many places inside the forest, alone. I didn't see the way because I was blind with a piece of cloth, so I don't know how to go back. With the map Jason gave to me, I have to find the right way until the camp he and the adults, I mean, the adult part of the cast, are building in somewhere. My sense of orientation fails too much so I'll probably end lost.

With this stupid game, where we will see ourself totally alone, Jason pretends to show us that we all are a team and we all need each other. If one of us fall, we all fall. He hopes that everyone arrive the camp, so that gives me hope because maybe I'm closer than I think, and then the game will continue. We are supposed to say the truth, so, that means that I have to say that I'm in love with Eliza? Is not gonna happen.

I'm already walking to nowhere. I try to read the map but I don't know. I'll be lost in a few minutes, so I start to laugh. I'm so mad. So, so, so mad. I can't even. Since the last real conversation that Eliza and I had, I'm so upset. Because I'm still waiting. Seven freaking days and I'm still waiting for an answer. Maybe she thinks that if the time passes, I'll forget it? I can't believe that; she has that whole time to think. C'mon, it's simple. You like or not like a person. If she doesn't I don't care, I just wanna know the truth.

I hear a noise. A big one noise that makes my heart beating fast as hell. I stop walking and look around. I don't see anything, just the high trees, and but in my mind, the pictures of a wolfpack and big bear are appearing. I'm just about to run when Eliza comes from the nothing cleaning her clothes. She has to fell down to the ground. Well, this has to be the karma or the destiny.

“Do you need any help?” I ask.

Elixa raise her head and look at me scared. I start to laugh and she shakes her head. I walk toward her and I see that there are some cuts in her arms. For a while I feel that I need to touch her and take care of the wounds by myself.

“I'm fine, don't worry.”

“Okay, see you in the camp” I blink and I continue to walk but her voice stop me.

“Wait, Aly...” I turn my head to her. “Can I go with you? I don't know where is my map.”

“Are you serious?” she nods. “Okay, but you will end lost, just as me” I try to smile, but my lips don't move.

“Four eyes and two brains see and think more than two and one, right?”

“I guess. Maybe two hearts can feel just like one, more if one of them is broken, huh?”

“Okay, okay, if we are...”

“If we are what?” I explode. “We are in a trip, like co-workers. No friends, no nothing. I'll help you and you'll help me. That's all.”

“Just stop it! I know that you are mad, and maybe you are right, but fuck, let me explain!”

“Let you explain what? That you need a whole week to give me a damn answer?”

“Look, maybe you are so secure because you already know what you want and what you feel, you are totally: I'm angry cause I'm just waiting for answer to a question that to me is too simple, I don't care if you have been speding the whole fucking minutes or the whole damn hours of the week trying to figure out what the hell you feel, or if you were crying the whole nights looking me sleep.”

“I'm...I'm sorry” is the only thing I'm capable to say.

“Tell me, Alycia, tell me what do you feel, what do you want, tell me who the hell I am to you, damn it!” she crushes down and starts to cry.

I even don't thinkabout it two seconds, I get closer and hug her. She buries her face in my neck and I feel her tears rolling down my skin. I caress her back and put the other hand in her hair. I have to admit it, it is difficult to her and I'm not helping. She needs time, and I can't ask for it before. What I can do is being sincere with her and tell her my real feelings.

“Listen to me” I whisper trying to relax her. “I'll tell you what I feel. It was difficult to accept, but everything on you just atract me. Your eyes hipnotize me, you lips call me to kiss them, you perfect hair that I just love to smell, your soft skin that I need to feel in the fingerprints of my hands, you, just you. I like you, I admire you, I love you. I want you as a friend, I need you as a partner and I would love to spend the whole time that you let me, just to make you feel good, to make you feel happy and loved. I really like you, because you are simply Eliza. You always make me smile and laugh, you don't care to spend the entire night awake if I need to, you are there for me even when I don't ask for. You're smart, brave, kind, funny and real. I love you, Eliza. What's more, every day I spend with you, is a day where I find out a new think that I like of you, and I fall in love with you even more, because it's true, I'm in love with you. ”

She's not crying anymore. She's quiet in my arms, breathing deeply, thinking, I guess. I let Eliza her space because I think that may I scared her with what I said, but is just what I really feel. This could be the end of our friendship forever, but at this point, everything has no sense. It's true, I love her, and that's not gonna change unless she doesn't want any of this and I'll have to forget these feelings.

She looks at me. She seems to be reading my soul, burning my eyes with hers. I try to look at her eyes as much as I can, but she's so intense and I have to look to other side, where my eyes get lost in the trees. I wanna freeze this moment. I don't want her to say that she doesn't feel nothing. I thought I didn't care, but I do. I care to much and I was always scared of discover that my feelings were onsided. Now is her turn to be honest, to tell me anything. To judge me. To destroy me.

“Alycia” she calls me. “Aly” she sighs and she grab my face into her arms. “Look at me.”

And I do. She's smiling. She's showing me that she's not scared. She's not running or looking at me like if I was a monster. She's just here, with me, looking again at my eyes. Then at my lips. 

“It's soon yet” she says and swallows. “I need more time, honey, just if you let me have it.” I nod repeatly times. “I'm scared” she confesses. “I don't want to hur yout. What if I say that I love you and then I find out that is a lie? What if I say that I wanna try it and then I regret about it? I can't hurt you.”

“Eliza, the only way that you can discover your feelings is letting them go out and if you think in this way, you are blocking them.”

“Yes, I know, but still, I don't want you to suffer.”

“I am already. Better that you discover what it is, sooner or earlier, but the truth is, and if I have to get demaged in the process, I'll take it. We both are suffering Eliza, and you know it.”

“And what do you want to do?”

“Okay, let's do something, just if you are agree, during this trip we have to work in our feelings, so let's give to each other a chance to try whatever we want. Well, you will do it, not me. Do anything, try to feel. Imagine that we were a couple and act like that, maybe that helps you.”

“But, what I do, kiss you or,,,?”

I get closer and I grab her hands with mines. I put hers in my weist and I pull her to me. Our lips are so close, if I want we could kiss right now, but I go away again.

“What did you feel?”

“A thousand of butterflies in my stomach?” she smiles. “Okay, I understand the game. Are you sure of this.”

“Totally.”

* * *

As I said, we are lost. It makes me laughs because Jason knows that this could happen, but still, I'm glad of this because now I'm in a new phase with Eliza. She's more than close to me. We were holding our hands the whole afternoon finally, like always. We have the tent already done, and the little bon fire in front of it. Soon, the sun will be down, letting the protagonist to the moon.

“Well, we have some snacks to dinner” she says, sitting next to me.

I'm looking to the fire, how it eats the air constantly. She holds my hand and puts her head in my shoulder. I look at her head. She seems to be confortable with me in love with her and doing this. I can believe that she likes me, or in the other case, she wouldn't be doing this. I wish had a friend here right now who can see all of this and jugde without feeling anything, but I guess that I'll have to wait.

“I love you” she whispers and looks at my eyes. I smile and she gets back to my shoulder.

She sings a song, I think I know it. “Only love can hurt like this”. I don't know if it's a secret message or what, but I love her singing. I close my eyes and I just enjoy the moment. The woman I love next to me, without fear, the nature surrounding us, the warm fire and the sky full of stars watching us. It seems to be a perfect moment and I'll make sure to remember this until the end, happens whatever it happens.


	17. -I do-

Eliza POV

It's dark. Too dark. The fire illuminates just a few meters of the camp. I haven't my phone with me, either Alycia has hers. We are totally alone in the middle of the woods. It's okay, I guess. I just need to stay calm and say to myself that nothing is going to happen. At least I'm with her, cause I could be here, completely alone, exposed to the danger and the fear.

Suddenly I remember something. Alycia and I had a conversation. She was so terrefied because of the plane and I told her to not worry about it because we were fine and eveything will be okay. She wasn't listening, so I said that she had to imagine what she would say to me if I we were lost in the woods. I hate the darkness and it's even worst if I am in the woods. Obviosly, I didn't know that something like that could happen, but here we are.

We already ate the snaks we had in our bags and everything is ready to go to sleep. She said that it's better to rest as much as we can and continue with the first light. It's sound great, but I don't know why I'm starting to feel a knot in my throat. It's because where we are? Maybe I wouldn't be scared if we were with more people, I don't know.

“Hey, are you okay?” Alycia asks.

“Yes” I lie.

She sits again next to me looking at the fire. With this kind of light she looks even more pretty. I stare her green eyes, then her nose and I end with my eyes focus on her lips. I want to kiss her. I have this feeling since too long by now, but here, in middle of nowhere, just her and I, it's just like if the stars were pushing me to do it. But I need to figure out so much things first. What the hell I really feel?

“Do you want to sleep?” 

I nod although it's another lie. In fact I'm not sleepy, but what we can do? Just wait and then what? She's looking at me. I look at her. Alycia is so important to me. I know that she's more than a friend, because I don't feel with Ali what I feel with her, but it's just complicated. I am complicated. Why I need to kiss her, or feel her skin next to mine? Why I can picture Aly with me in the future, with my kids in the same house? Why I even can think that she can be her mother as well?

When this started? I try to remember. I had that accident, before the photo thing. When we were in the hospital and I woke up, I had the first feeling to kiss her. That was the first time I wanted to feel her lips on mines without being working. Wait, actually, everything started with the photo thing. After reading some comments I started to think what would it be being involved into a relationship with Alycia. It couldn't be real because of my sexuality. Even I told her the same, and she responded me that she was straight too. I don't know if it was true then, but if it wasn't, maybe I was lying to myself too.

Then I remember when we were at home after the hospital. That dinner she prepared to me. The memories we shared, everything we talked about, but above all, when we said the same sentences of our characters in the kiss scene and I went to her couch. I ended over her. She was scared. Maybe she was confused, maybe this was starting to her too. But, why I did that? I was totally focus on make her feel...what exactly? I was going to kiss her. I let the beast go there that night for five minutes. Why? What I felt? What I feel?

She stares at the fire. I smile. It's cute think that she was dealing with her feelings at the same time as me. If I think it properly, everything we have done in the past month were just a travel that end in this night. In this moment. I need to remember everuthing. Every moment that I felt something, that I actually realized that something was happening between us but I buried it in that moment.

The trip. Ali, Maia, Alycia and I. Well, I have to admit it. Before the trip, Aly was in USA filming her new TV show while I was in my house in Australia. In those weeks, I felt so bad. Like if I was void, emptiness, like if I missed something. It was because of her, because she was far away from me. And well, speaking of that trip, it was a mess. I was jealous. Now I see it. Everytime Alycia was near to Maia, taking care fo her, laughing with her, sharing old stories, I was upset, angry, mad at everyone. Sure! That's why I can't handle when Maia is with us, because she is able to steal my time with Aly, because they are best friends and I'm afraid to not being enough to Alycia. But I'm wrong. I'm totally wrong. Aly loves me, not Maia, I have no motive to fear about it. I already won.

“I have a question” I say.

“Which one?”

“In the first trip, where we were with Maia and Ali, you confessed to me that maybe you like girls too. Did you felt something for me then?” I ask.

She nods. So I was wrong. I thougth it was because of Maia. All this whole time I was thinking the opposite. I shake my head while I smile and I grab her hand. I should had the courage enough to ask this in that moment. Maybe the things would be different.

“Can I ask something too?” she whispers.

“Sure” I replay.

“Well, it's something I just remember. Ali told me that she exactly knew what did you felt when we kissed for the first time but she never said it to me. I wonder if I can know it, what do yo felt.”

Well played, I think. Our first kiss was so special, yes, it was for practise, but still, I count it. It's truth; I felt something. I can't say clearly what it was, but in the other hand, when I kiss other people in the work I usually feel nothing. Maybe if I try to open and be totally honest, I'll get something new. What I said to Ali when I called her to tell her what happened?

“I wanted to kiss you again when we finished. I guess I felt something.”

“You guess?” she asks.

“I liked it. Too much. When my tongue touched yours my heart went really fast, every second that it passed was like an eternity. I wanted to continue more time, I even thought in what I was feeling. I was like an animal trapped wanting to go there and keep exploring.”

Whoa. Okay, this is totally knew. I didn't say this to Ali, just a part. But I think this is the real thing, what I felt for real. I look at Alycia and she's smiling with her eyes putting in the fire. Well, at least she likes the answer.

Oh my! Here it is. Something cames to blow up my mind. That day I was alone in the mall. The music that it was playing. Only love can hurt like this. Me and all my thoughts about Alycia. I really believed that she never could feel what I wanted. And what was that? I wanted her to love me. I had to buried that too. But she loves me. She does love me. And well, if I keep remembering I have to tell that when I said to David, my ex, that I was with a girl and I say her name in order to get him leave me in peace, I love to think for seconds that it was real. I liked what I felt. Then I remember that was a lie and I was sad, I almost wanted to cry. I felt something. I feel something.

Wait. What about when we were in the plane. Alycia was freaking out when we were in the turbulence zone. After saying that she would kiss me to calm down, I told her for the third time that I would kiss her. For she that was something. And for me? I really wanted to kiss her but I wasn't sure about do it because I didn't know if she really wanted the same.

“What's that?” she asks.

Quickly, I send all my thoughts away and I listen carefully. There's something. Oh my God. Something is moving so near to us. Alycia gets up and stares the darkness. My heart starts to beat so faster. Damn! I get up too. Tell me that is just a rabbit. Please. I don't want to start thinking that it would be a bear or a crazy man that wants to kill us.

“Stay calm and don't scream” Aly says and starts to extingish the fire.

“What are you doing?” I ask almost to freak out. Without any lights I would scream in seconds.

“The fire can atract them. Animals, I mean. Go and enter inside the tent.”

“But-”

“Just do it.”

I walk toward the tent and I enter. Although I have another one, I wanted to sleep next to her because of my fear. So I sit in a sleeping bag. Alycia is making some noise out there. Suddenly, I stop seeing anything. It's completely dark. My heart is about to run far away from my chest. My best friend enters and closes the tent. She sits next to me, touching my arm and then she brings one of her fingers to her mouth. She wants me to shut up.

The animal -or whatever is outside- is near. I can hear it coming to us. I can imagine its face. Maybe the animal is smelling the air. We're not safe in here. We're actually trapped. Alycia grabs one of my hands. I realize that I'm sweating and shaking.

“Calm down, sweetie” she whispers.

“We need to run. Oh my God, that thing is going to kill us.”

I can't see her face which makes me even more nervious. I feel that Aly is moving to get closer to me. She sorrounds me with her arms and kiss my hair. This worked before with her in the plain but I know that is not gonna work with me. I'm still shivering in her arms. My blood it's just cold. What an idea come to the forest and separate us.

“Just breathe” she says.

“I'm breathing” I complain.

“Deeply.”

I try to do what she wants but I can't. The more I think in where we are and what it could be outside, the more I want to scream and run. Alycia is reading my mind, I don't know how, but she holds my face into her arms. She's close. I can feel her breathing in my skin, I can hear her trying to stay calm. I feel her warm just a few centimeters to me. Is she going to kiss me? She said she would do it. 

“Don't make me kiss you, Eliza.”

But maybe I want. Maybe the way to discover finally what I really feel is kissing her again. I don't like the place and the situation, but the opportunity is right here right now. We already kissed lately. It was just a little kiss, a mistake. Something that we never talked about after do it. But I felt those butterflies in my stomach. I liked it.

I get closer. My lips are skimming hers. Just do it. It's the moment. My entire body is still shaking, before for what was outside, now because I can kiss Alycia in just one more move. If I could see her eyes I would look at her if I wanted to tell her that I'm ready. And I feel it. Her sweet lips crashing with mines. I let the beast be free again. I bury my fingers in her hair while she keeps holding my head with her hands. Our tongues are moving to find the other one. Thousand of sensations cross my body. I can feel it, my heart beating for her, my lips claiming for more time, my brain telling me that everything it's alright, that I'm allow to do this.

Suddenly I remember other thing. Something that was forgotten. I was drunk that night, the first night we were in set this season. I kissed her neck, I felt the same I'm feeling right now; that thirst that consumes me. My lungs claim for oxygen so I separte just right to keep touching her lips. I close my eyes breathing and I lean my forhead in hers.

“Are you better now?” she sighs and I nod.

I don't know why I'm still thinking if I'm in love or not. I already told her that I wanted her to be the mother of my children, I felt that she was that person, I knew that I want to spend the rest of my life with her that night, when I thought I was pregnant. “Our family”. I was totally confortable with that. Why I changed my mind? Did I change it? Maybe I just buried everything because I thought I would protect myself, but blocking what I feel is not helping at all.

I started to block them after the lap dance. Alycia was so sexy dacing in front of me and licking the tequila on my neck. That time I wanted to kiss her again and I didn't care if we were sorround by the whole cast. I need her. Right now. I need to kiss her, feel her next to me. I always had this feeling, but I just block them. Maybe because somewhere on my mind being not straight it's bad, maybe because I thought she would never feel something for me. I don't know and I don't care. I actually need her.

Aly confuses me. It's true. I told her, but in fact is more than that. They way she looks at me and speaks to me could confuse me because I didn't know if she liked me or no. Now, I do know what she feels. When I kiss her, I feel the butterflies, the energy going across my body, I touch her and I get paralized. I think about her and inmediately a big smile appears in my face. It's just her. She's everything.

More noises out there distract me. I raise my head and my heart starts to beat fast again. Alycia holds me. It's gonna happen again. I'll freak out. But this time is different. The noises are closer and I think I can hear human voices. Alycia is shaking too. I hug her and I hear her heart beating. She's scared.

“Finally!” someone shouts and opens the tent.

I have no time to think. I start to scream louder. Alycia just holds me again trying to calm me but I can't stop until I hear the laugh of someone, that person that just opened the tent. It's Linds. And Marie. What the hell are they doing?

“Oh my” Linds keeps laughing. “I wish have my camera with me.”

I shut my mouth and look at them. They have lanterns. I look at Linds so angry. I almost have a heart attack.

“You two, stupid girls!” I scream.

“Take it easy” Marie says. “At least it's just Linds and I. We could be monsters or animals that wants you blood” she shows me her tongue.

“Out!” I say.

“We're already.”

Well, Marie and Linds are lost too. They were trying to find the camp and they saw the bon fire so they came to us. Because Aly extinguished it, they were slow, but they finally found us. Aly wants to help them to put their tents next to our. I'm mad, so I don't help. I'm just hearing them and waiting for Aly. When she comes back, she has a lantern with her and she's smiling.

“We should rest” she says and I nod.

We lie in the sleeping bags. Aly is next to me so I can hear her breathing. She starts to sing in a low voice a song and I close my eyes. I can do it, I can say it. Everything I was feeling and dealing with these past months finally have an answer. I was confused, I was atracted, I need to feel her, to kiss her, to be with her. I may love her.

I turn to Aly. She's with her eyes close. I turn off the lantern and smile. I know by this moment that everything is going to change but I believe that the change is going to be good. I look for her hand with mine. What I'm going to say it's difficult because although I thought it before I never recognize it for real. Alycia moves again and lances our fingers. I lean my head on her chest and she kisses my forehead. Here we go.

“You asked me if I'm in love with you” I stop and I feel she touching my fingers with her thumb. She's waiting. Time for the truth. “Well, the answer is I do.”


	18. -While it keeps beating-

Eliza POV  
I open my eyes. The light is turn off so I start to search the botton to illuminate the hotel room. I don’t like the darkness. I reach the table with my hand but I can’t find the lamp. Okay, so, let’s find my phone, but again, it isn’t there. Suddenly, I feel that something is wrong. I try to remember what I did today but I can’t, it’s like if everything is gone, get out of my mind.

But I’m not alone in the room. Alycia is here. Oh, no, wait. I leave to breathe trying to hear Aly’s breathing. There’s nothing. Only silence. Silence and darkness. Like I thought before, something is really wrong in here.

“Aly?” I ask in low voice.

After waiting a while I understand that she’s not here or at least she is deeply sleeping. I turn and I try to see she in her bed next to mine but I see nothing. I move towards the other bed still covered with my blanket and I repeat her name again a little bit louder. Again, she doesn’t respond and I don’t hear any sound.

“Okay, Aly. If this is any kind of joke that you are making to me and if Linds or Marie or whoever are helping you, please, stop it. I’m already scared.”

But nothing new happens. Nobody laughs. Nobody talks. Nobody moves. Everything is quiet in here. Well, this is going too far by now. Maybe I am in the middle of the night and for some reason Aly had to leave without giving me an explanation but that’s weird. If, for example, anything would happen to me. I’d tell her.

“Calm down. Find your phone” I order to myself and then I get up.

The phone is not on my table. I find the lamp but it doesn’t work, what’s strange too. I try to remember where I left it and while I’m doing that I enter the bathroom. The lights don’t work in here either. So, is the room totally in dark? I leave the bathroom and then I continue searching for the phone. It has to be near to me. I couldn’t leave it in the set, right?

I can’t find it. Is not in my bag, either on my suitcase or in the couch we have in the room. Alycia is definelity not in her bed and her phone is not here neither. She’s gone and I’m going to find out what the hell is happening but when I’m just about to open the door to get out of here, I realize that is closed.

“What the fuck?” I say and behind me I hear a laugh of a little girl.

I turn looking at the nothing. My heart starts to beat faster so I can hear it working. Maybe it’s just my imagination. In situations like this one the brain does this stupid kind of things. However, I’ve hear a new sound that comes from the bathroom. But that’s impossible. This can’t be happening. I was there and nobody was in the room two minutes ago.

“Who’s there? I shout after another laugh at the end of the room.

“It’s you” an ugly voice answers me inside the room.

I’m scared. I’m in panic. Okay, what’s happening? I swear I was alone a moment ago, so, who’s that voice? I can’t recognize her, because yes, it’s a woman. I hear the laugh again now closer than before. I open my eyes like dishes and pay more atenttion. That voice, that laugh…are similary like mines but in a way that it’s so scaring. Like if I’m hearing myself in a-

“Death way” that voice ends what I was thinking.

When I turn again ready to break the door if it’s necessary, someone opens it for me and grabs my arm with strengh pulling me out of the room. It’s Bob with a big cut over the eyebrown and some kind of dark expression on his eyes. He closes the door again and starts to run still pulling me.

“I don’t know where are them. Aly tried to wake up you but she couldn’t he says to me.”

“What’s happening?” I ask.

But he looks at me without giving me any explanation. We turn a corner and keep running. Although I just woke up and I don’t know anything, I feel like every nerve of my body is full of energy. I forget for a moment about my phone and the voice I heard to focus on a thing that is so much important.

“Where is Aly now?

“She-“ but he doesn’t finish the sentence.

“She what?” I stop running and he stops too.

“We need to get out of here and then I would explain everything I know.”

“I’m not moving until you tell me everything.”

He clenches his fists and then he looks at the final of the aisle. I haven’t realize before that only the emergency lights are working.

“I don’t know. okay? Devon was in my room saying those rare things. He couldn’t stop saying that the end was here.”

I close my eyes and shake my head. End? What end? 

“And then you just start to run away?”

“Ricky and I tried to calm him but…he…” Bob starts to sob. “I didn’t want to do it but-“

“You did” suddenly Devon’s voice appears in the air.

I look at everywhere trying to find him but we are totally alone. When I look again at Bob he’s shaking. His entire body is suffering contractions. On his eyes I can see horror and I understand inmediately why. He was trying to tell me that Devon is dead and that he had to kill him.

“Run” I say. “C’mon, let’s get out of here!”

We move again through the aisles. The elevators are broken or whatever so we have to go downstairs. While we are running and running, more voices are appearing. Laughs, shouts, crazy sentences, ghostly noises…I’m still trying to find a logically explanation to all of this, but it’s useless.

“Damn!” Bob screams and falls. I stop and help him to get up.

“Are yo okay?” I ask.

He nods but I can see that his leg is bleeding. He’s hurt.

“Eliza, go” he says and I refuse. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“No” I respond.

“Save your life. Don’t be that silly.”

“I can’t leave you!”

He looks at me and I can see the pain in his eyes.

“Listen, if Alycia could leave you before, you can’t leave me.”

“What?” is the only thing I can say.

“I know you two love each other, but she left intead of wait. I’m less important, so if she could, you can.”

I’m hurt. No because I know that I’ll have to leave Bob here, but because Alycia run away without me and he had the courage enough to risk everything and come back to me.

“Where is she?” I ask again.

“Just go, Eliza.”

“WHERE IS ALYCIA?”

The tears come to my eyes quickly. Bob shakes his head but finally he says where she is. In the second floor. I don’t know why I can read between lines that she still there, like if she can’t leave that floor.

“Eliza, don’t risk your life. Don’t go.”

“I don’t know if she loves me that much, but I could risk anything for her, and I will.”

Obviously, I start to run toward the second floor. I’m not gonna lie. I’m hurt about the decissions she made, but I love her. I’m in love and I can’t leave the hotel and go wherever.

I reach the second floor. When I open the big gates I find that the lights are working on here but…I have to cover my mouth with my hands in order to not to shout. There’s blood in the floor, in the walls, even in the roof. Everything is coloured by red. And it smells so bad. I walk slow preparing myself to watch anything. What’s happening tonight has not reason, but I cannot think in that now.

“Alycia?” I ask.

“She’s not here” somone sings behind me.

I turn but there’s nothing there. I’m alone. Again.

“Just show your face, idiot!” I say and I regret it by the moment.

“Are you sure, sweetie?” that voice again tells me and something or someone touches my face.

I slap myself trying to get out that thing of my face when I realize that no one is near to me. My heart is going to explode anytime, I swear it can be faster. But that thing caresses my back softly. I scream and run. Because of a puddle of blood I fall to the floor and I cover my hands with it.

“Stop it! Leave me alone” I shout.

That ghosy, demon, spirit, thing, whatever, laughs again. Hardly. Deeply. It gets louder and louder and louder and louder and louder. I scream even more louder than that creepy laugh. My ears, by suprise, begin to bleed.

I get up but I fall again and the lights blink. There is a moment, when I finally can get up, that I turn because I hear a metal noise at the end of the aisle where I came from and then the lights turn on again and I see her. A blond girl that is alike me but with her hair dirty and longer, with a long white nightgown. Her eyes are completly black and her arms are so long, almost reaching the floor. She smiles. Is the worst smile I’ve ever have seen. Creepy, awful and deathly.

My feet are moving and my heart, that I thought that it was going to explode, starts so suffer something that is killing me inside. I feel like my brain is running out of oxygen and my muscles and my nerves are dying because I have no strengh. I turn a corner and I stop. Alycia.

“No” I whisper. “No. No. No!” I scream and the I cry tumbling down to the floor.

She right there. In the floor. He blood is out of her body. Her skin is white like a paper and her eyes are without life. She’s dead. She’s gone.

“You did this” the ugly voice whispers to my ear so I can feel that she, the blond girl is next to me.

I think I’m just about to have a heart attack when I see other thing. The thing that I know that is going to kill me. The thing that I know that I will never forget, even if I died finally. That thing is a giant baby. His eyes are just a dark hole, but he’s crying, crying tears of blood. He opens his mouth until he breaks her jaw and the skin of his face is torn. He runs and runs and runs towards me giving out the mostly strong and deeply shout I ever have heard. When he is going to crush with me I scream with all my strengh feeling that my throat is ripping.

“Eliza! Eliza! Wake up!” I open my eyes. “It’s just a dream. Wake up” It’s Linds. I can recognize her voice. But there’s a problem.

“I can see” I say but I feel that my throat is in pain.

“I know that” she says.

“What?”

“Eliza, what’s happening?” she laughs.

I rub my eyes and then I open them again. I can see. There’s only black. I feel my heart beating frantically.

“Where is Alycia?” I ask, remember the nightmare and all the blood.

“Who’s Alycia?” Linds asks me.

“She-“ I try to get up but I can’t move my legs. Actually I can’t feel them.

“What the hell is happening? Linds just say to me why I can’t move, why I can see, why you ask me who is Alycia when you totally know who is she.”

She laughs. Louder. Louder. Louder. She caresses my cheekbone and then she gets closer to my ear.

“Don’t you remember, sweetie?” Linds says. “You are dead” the voice of the blond girl says to me and then I hear again the baby’s creepy yell.

***

The next I feel is a slap. I open my eyes and I find Alycia’s green and worried eyes. I have tears rolling down my cheeks and yeah, I had to scream for real cause my throat is killing me. Aly hugs me burying her face in my neck.

“You were screaming and crying. I tried to wake up you like for ten minutes but you didn’t. I was so scared” she says.

I get up and set aside her. We are in our room, in her bed. I look around. I see that the sun is shining on the room. My phone is near my lamp. There’s no blood, no ghosts, no giang and zombie babies, no dead. 

Everything’s normal. The nightmare is over.

“It was awful” I say. “The worst nightmare I could have.”

I look at her. She only has her big T-shirt, her hair is messy and she has no make up. We both are covered with her sheets, so we slept in the same bed.

“It was only a nightmare, Eliza” she hugs me again and this time I bury my face in her chest. “This happens because you got drunk. Actually you end in my bed because you were saying that your own ghost was in  
the room waiting for you. Thanks God that I was fine.”

“I’m sorry” I apologize almost to cry. “You were dead, and that creepy baby, and the blood. You…What if this is just part of the nightmare and something is just about to happen?”

“I’m here” she whispers. “I’m holding you and I’m so alive. Look at me honey.”

I look at her and she smiles. My eyes going down to her lips and I kiss her. She grabs my hand and puts it over her heart.

“Do you feel it?” I nod. “It’s beating because of you and it will be for you always. Anytime that you are afraid, listen to it, that’s how you know that I’m okay and that I’m with you. Ask me if I love you in your dreams, face your fears there knowing that I'm okay, that I have you inside of me, because my heart now belongs to you and you can use it like you power. And I'm real, now, not in that nightmare, so stop remember it and silent it.”

"How"? I ask.

"Kissing me."

And I do, and suddenly, I feel her heart beating faster. That's how I know that is real.


	19. -Make a wish-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year my friends <3 I love you all and thanks for your patience.

Alycia POV 

It’s pretty early today. I wake up and the first thing I do is look at Eliza. She’s still sleeping in her bed. With her mouth a little bit open and all her hair scrambled. I smile and then I get up. I walk toward the window in order to see how the weather is today. Well, it’s a sunny morning without any clouds.

My phone starts to vibrate. I hurry up to pick it up. It’s Linds on the other line.

“I see you are awake, huh?” she says.

“I am. What’s up?” 

“Let me guess; Eliza is still sleeping, isn’t she?”

“Bingo!” I laugh.

“Too easy. Do me a favor; wake up her, get your swimsuits and come to the parking.”

“Is Jason wanting another trip again?”

“No” she answers. “It’s us with a beautiful and free day which we will enjoy it in the beach. Don’t be late!” she says with a singsong voice and the she hangs up.  
So let’s go to the beach.

A little bit later, well, okay, like forty minutes later, Eliza and I are in the elevator. We go out and leave the keys in reception. Outside there is almost everyone. Linds and Marie come to us and hug us, then they say in which car we are and like lately, we are separate.

The ride until the beach it’s funny. I am with Linds, Devon and Ricky. They all are discussing about friendships that turn into relationships. I can’t not stop smiling and covering my face because I don’t want them to ask me why I am even blushed. However, Linds looks at me and points me with one finger.

“Oh, girl! Tell us, now.”

“Tell you what?” I ask.

“Why you are red like a tomato” Devon says.

“I’m not!” I scream and they start to laugh.

“What is your secret, Aly?” Ricky asks.

“I have no secrets!” I reply.

“You little liar” Linds says and blinks. “I think I know what it is but my lips are sealed.”

Now I’ll make sure to have some time alone with her to ask her what she thinks it is and maybe I’ll be honest and tell Linds what I feel and what’s happening because I need someone there to listen me and to tell me what they think.

The beach where they want to go is far, like an hour from de hotel so we have time enough to make jokes, tell funny stories, old memories when we were children and keep asking question about our personal life and our own feelings. Definitely all of them, or at least Ricky and Linds know something about what’s happening between Eliza and I. I know they do because of all the questions they want me to answer, how they look at me and because they both were the other day in that cafeteria where the things went mad between we both.

“Look. Bob is calling” Devon says rising his phone and picking it up. “What’s up, man?” he stops for a second and then opens his mouth. “Really? Where? We didn’t see it.” He stops again. “What are we going to do?” I frown looking at him. “Yeah, okay, don’t worry. We’ll wait.”

Ricky. Linds and I look at him waiting for an explanation.

“It happened an accident” he says and my heart stops beating. On my mind all I can think right now is if Eliza is fine, if she is hurt, how she is. Is she scared? I want to run over there and see with my eyes her. Hug her if I can and make sure that she’s okay, but Devon relax me in a second with what he says next. “A car crashed with other car and they were behind. Nothing happened to them but they have to wait until the police and the ambulance clear the zone.”

“When it happened? We were just in front, weren’t we?” Linds asks.

“We’ve should overtake in the road before the accident happened” Ricky says. “So, what we are going to do?”

“Wait for them” Devon says. “They will be late, but we can search for a place to eat, you know?”

I nod. I don’t want to be more time separate from Eliza but I can’t do anything in this case. However, I’m glad that they all are fine because they would have been one of those cars.

We reach the beach and Ricky parks the car near to the sand. I open the gate and breathe the air full of iodine. I walk a little bit and close my eyes hearing the noise of the small waves breaking in the shore. I love this place.

“Well, my dear friend” Linds grabs my arms and then she hugs me from my back. “The boys are going to look for a restaurant and you and I are going to look a beautiful place to stay in here. C’mon!”

Linds pull me with her to the sand. We start to walk in totally silence. I try to concentrate in the beach. There are people but it’s still early so we have a lot of place and little glances from fans or people that would recognize us.

“I have to tell you something” Linds says breaking the ice. “We are here for Marie.”

“Marie?” I ask surprised. “Why?”

“Don’t say to her that I told you, but last night her boyfriend broke up with her. She spent almost the whole night crying so I decided to go here to clear her mind for a while. “She looks at me. “You know, after a breakup is better not to be alone.”

I nod. I was in a relationship a couple of years ago and when I broke up with my ex boyfriend, Maia pulled me out of my house. It’s better not to be alone or you can start to overthink the things that has happened.

“I have to tell you something too” I say and swallow.

Linds looks at me and smiles. I’m sure that she knows what I want to tell her. She has like a sixth sense for things like this one.

“Feel free, honey.”

“I’m in love. With Eliza. Maybe you knew it before because it’s obvious, but I need to tell you the truth. I’m so deeply in love with her. I confessed my feelings to her that night when we were in the forest, and she seems to love me back” I stop in order to take a look at Linds. She’s calm, waiting me to end the story. “We kissed. We are having a romantic friendship or whatever, but we are not together as a couple.”

“Yet” she stops me. “You’re not as a couple yet.” I shrug. “So, she told you that she loves you, right?”

“Yes. That night and then she kissed me.”

She nods and then she hugs me.

“I’m so happy for you, Aly” she smiles. “Look. I know that this is new for you both and I know Eliza. Give her some time but make sure that you are there for her. She likes clear things and feel that she is secure about anything. If you give her that, I’m sure that your relationship will grow very fast.”

“Is it better to wait before tell her that I want to date her?” I ask and close my eyes.

“Yes. I mean, she already knows what you feel about her, and you know that she loves you. As I said, this is new for you both, and knowing Eliza like I do, I bet that she’s dealing with what it’s good and what is not. When she is ready to take another step, she will.”

I hug Linds back feeling more confortable after confessing my feelings.

“Thank you” I whisper.

“Not at all” she says. “But I must warn you, don’t you dare to hurt her or you will have problems with me” she laughs and I roll my eyes.

“I couldn’t hurt the most important person in the whole world for me. I would hurt me in the process too.”

 

Eliza POV

We arrive the beach an hour later after the others did. I’m tired of being in that car so I get off in the moment Bob parks. They are waiting for us in an italian restaurant that has the best views in the whole place, so I catch Marie by her arm and we walk together there.

“So, tell me what is happening in your life. Have you and Aly confessed your feelings finally?”

I look at her with my eyes opened like dishes and I see how she is smiling.

“We don’t need to talk about it right now” I say because she told us that her boyfriend broke up with her last night and talking about my love life is not gonna help.

“C’mon, Aly is a girl. I think that women hurt less than men. Maybe Linds would want to have a date with me and try something” she laughs and I laugh with her shaking my head.

“Well, tell me then how she kisses” I blink to Marie and she smiles.

“Now tell me about Aly and don’t say that is not happening anything because I know that there is something between you two.”

I sigh looking down. I’ve never talked with anybody about my feelings for her, maybe I didn’t have the chance to speak out the truth with myself either. But there’s something. I can’t deny that I love her, or that I like the way she smiles or looks at me. She gives me something that no one does.

“I love her” I say.

“I love you too and I don’t seem to have something with you. Tell me more.”

“I don’t know. But I know” I close my eyes trying to find the properly words.

“Are you afraid of recognize your feelings?” I nod. “Eliza, you need to be honest with yourself and with her as well. Do you know what she feels?”

“She is in love with me” I sigh and I feel butterflies in my stomach.

“Are you in love with her? Don’t think about what are you afraid of, just feel and say it loud.”

“I am. I’m in love with Alycia. I’ve been in love since I kissed her the first time, I was atracted before that and after that, but not knowing what she felt for me made me blocked any feeling. And of course I’m afraid. What would say my parents? Or the media? What would think my friends? I was supossed to be straight, but I want her. I need her in my life. I have a battle inside of me. What is good and what is bad. But yes, I’m totally falling for Alycia.”

Marie hugs me. I feel how two little pearls are rolling down my cheeks.

“It’s okay. Eliza, what are you feeling is the most beautiful thing. It’s love. You can’t control it and if someone doesn’t accept that you love another person, that people is the one being wrong. Remember that you fall for the person, not for the gender. That doesn’t make you good or evil, makes you a wonderful person being in love with another wonderful person.”

I haven’t time to thank Marie about what she just said and that it’s the most amazing thing that no one could ever tell me. Linds jumps to my arms and I see Aly smiling to me. I smile too and I feel how the fire that is on my heart everytime I see her, starts to ignite my body. I hug her too and she kisses my cheek.

“I missed you” I whisper to her and I lance my fingers with hers. She looks afraid by the moment I do it and starts to watch around us if someone is looking at us. “It’s okay. I don’t care anymore.”

We enter the restaurant and order some pizza and pasta. Marie is better now than when we were in the car. She’s next to Linds and Ricky and they try to make her laugh anytime. Bob, Devon, Richard and Chris are talking about cars and soccer, and Aly and I are holding hands behind the table.

I smile, because I just realize that they are my friends and that they would accept us being a couple. Actually, Marie and I think that Linds too, do it. Ali, my best friend, is going to hug Aly by the moment I say to her and my parents maybe like the idea. I don’t have to be worried about the press or the fans. C’mon, everyone love clexa, they would love elycia as well or even more.

“What are you thinking?” Aly reaches my ear and I feel a chill crossing my back.

“About us” I look at her and I see the bright in her eyes. “I love you” I whisper and she smiles with her cheeks in red.

We spend the rest of the day at the beach. They boys playing with a ball while the girls trying to take a sunbathe. Then I follow Aly to the water and we swim. Marie and Linds join us minutes later and we start to makes races. Of course, the boys do the same by the moment they see us. Later, we play volleyball and then the boys go to get us some ice creams and chips.

“I could do this for the rest of my life” Linds says and we nod.

“The 100 is more than a show, huh?” Marie asks.

“The show just gave me this amazing family” Aly says and then she looks at me.

“Grupal hug?” I suggest and I find myself surrounded by three girls. I laugh and then I scream when I feel something cold in my back. “What the hell?” I turn my face   
and I see Bob laughing with an ice cream at his hands. “Son of-”

I get up and start to run over him, but he is running too so we start a fight.

Finally, the sunset is in front of our eyes. The boys and the girls are sitting in the sand watching at it. I lay my head over Aly’s chest and she kisses my hair. We lances our fingers and I caress her hand with my thumb. I love this. This simply moment with this people and being confortable enough to be next to the girl that I’m in love with.

“Tonight there are shooting stars” Bob says.

“We have to be here by that moment!” Linds shouts. “I need to make some wishes.”

Because of the shooting stars we have dinner in another restaurant and then go back to the beach waiting for the moment the stars start to falling down in the sky making the night magical.

“Eliza” Aly calls me and I go toward her. “Come with me.”

I grab her hand and she leads me away from where they are. I bet she wants some space for us without any eyes pointing us. She walks toward a big rock and surrounds it. I’m just about to ask her where we are going but I see it. It’s a small creek opened to the see. There’s nobody there and we can see the sky clearly.

“I just wanted a moment with you” she says. “How are you?”

“I can’t define it. Everything is perfect today. This is wonderful.”

She smiles and sits in the sand. I repeat her steps. We are in totally silence until she starts speaking again.

“Look, there’s something I want to tell you but I don’t want you to feel pushed. You know that I love you and I know that you love me. But I can wait Eliza. I can wait for you the time you need. I don’t want you to be afraid of being in a relationship with me. I want you to be happy and confident about anything and I’m not sure if you are ready for that. And if we see a shooting star tonight I would wish that. I would wish you to be happy, either if it’s with me or not.”

I’m just about to tell her that I don’t care anymore. That I want to be with her. That she is making me happy already, but I turn my face to the sky just in time to see the first shooting star crossing it. I look again at Alycia and I see how she closes her eyes and how she makes a wish.

“Do you want to know what would be my wish?” I ask and she looks at me and nods. “I want to be with you because you are already making me happy. You are the reason why I’m here, smiling like a fool and feeling a multitude of explosions inside my heart. You are the person I want to be with. Now and forever.”

Another shooting star cross the sky and I repeat my wish looking at it. Alycia hugs me and bury her face on my neck. I search for her hand and I hold it. I want her. That is the only thing that matters right now and I know that we are better together so I just stop being afraid.

“I love you, Eliza. I love you with every inch of me.”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I ask and I stare her eyes.

We both see the sky shinning again. Another shooting star is falling and I decide that this one is our star. The witness star of us. The star that would cross the entire universe carrying our love forever. I look at her and she is already looking at me. I smile and look at her lips. Alycia’s lips crash with mines gently sealing our relationship. We kiss over and over again and only stopping to take a breathe in order to continue.

“Eliza?” she calls me leaning her forehead in mine.

“Yeah?” I whisper.

“You are my real wish.”

And we kiss again. Our tongues find the way to meet and our hands find the place to lance our fingers. This is, without any doubts, the most magical moment in my entire life.


	20. -Easy to read-

Eliza POV

“Yo do. You make me happy everyday and every night. You make me care about someone. You make me fall in love each day and finish the night smiling before I go to sleep. Nobody can do what you do. Nobody could ever enter and stay. No one can walk every corridor of my kingdom, either can enter into my chamber, either bring down my defences and being there, impassive. No one can do that except you. You are, like I said to you once, the music that was missing in my life. Before you there wasn't any sound or colour. Now there are a thousand of melodies each time I think about you, I look at you, I touch you our you kiss me. Now every grey nook of me has thousands of different colours. You are everything I didn't ask for because I couln't even imagine about you. I like you, I love you and I only need you being by my side in order to know that, whatever it happens, meanwhile I am with you, everything is possible and everything is perfect.”

I have tears in my eyes when I read the last word of this small letter, writing into a piece of red paper. My heart is burning in happiness and I can't hide the smile that my lips want to share with the world. Things like this one make me fall even more in love with Alycia, wo is the best girlfriend I could have.

That is still weird. Is our first month together and I keep feeling strange when I call her my girlfriend. My. But it's true that my cheeks become tomatos when I said it aloud. When she calls me that I just smile and watch how her eyes shine powerfully. I can't lie, I really love when she surround me with her arms and call me girlfriend or my girl in front of people. It makes me feel important, like if I was a queen.

She is mine and I am hers.

I read again the small paper and I sigh. It's incredible how in a short time, a person can go from being no one to you to being everything, to make your world, to create your smile and being the reason for what you wake up everyday. It's right now, when I feel this kind of mix of feelings when I realize that I've never been in love. Not until Alycia. I just liked people, but I have never felt this. And this is the most wonderful feeling ever.

The letter didn't come alone. There is a rose with her and I bring it to my nose in order to smell its essence. I close my eyes and suddenly I feel a couple of hands covering my eyes. I smile immediately. 

“Who is this?” I ask.

I don't get an answer, at least not a verbal one. I feel Alycia's lips in my neck, kissing my skin softly. She lowers her hands across my arms and hugs me from my back. I turn my face in order to catch her lips and we kiss passionately. I have to admit that in this entire month, where we have been sleeping in the same bed and sharing more time together, we have become more fearless, we trust each other and we have been trying new different things that I thought I couln't do. We are more secure about ourselves and the love we spread to each other make us feel that we can have the confidence enough to do whatever we want.

I press my lips against hers and I turn to her completely. We open our eyes at the same time and I see her smile before I kiss her again. Now it's me the one smiling like I fool while she catches my lips with hers. I push her looking directly at her eyes and then I get on top of Alycia. We kiss again, now more fiercely. Her hands start caressing the skin of my back under my T-shirt while my arms try to support my body above hers.

“It looks like someone is starving today” she jokes and I respond bitting her neck making her moan.

“Don't blame me, it's your fault” I say and back bitting another time her skin. “I love you.”

“I love you too” she says looking at me and suddlenly I see tears welled up in her eyes.

“What is wrong, baby?” I ask worried and I sit in front of her.

She shakes her head and tries to smile, but the tears start running across her face and she covers it hugging me and burying her face in my chest. I pass my arms surrounding her body and I wonder if I did something wrong, but I thougth it was perfect.

“Nothing is wrong” she says. “It's just...I can't believe that today we make a month. It's like a dream come true and every time you say I love you it's likeif I born again. You have no idea how you make me feel Eliza Taylor.”

“Well, I think I have a little idea” I smile and I make Aly look at me by grabbing her face. “You are the center of my universe right now, do you know it?” She smiles so I leave a quick kiss in her lips. “I have something for you, by the way.”

She looks a little bit surprised which makes me laugh while I lean on the bed and grab a black bag that I left in the bedside table the last day. We are back in Australia for this weekend before the San Diego Comic Con. I didn't call my mother because I didn't want to tell her that I was going to come back. She would want to see me and I'm not ready to tell her that I am with Alycia. She is isn't ready either, so we decided to be uncovered. Of course, Linds, Marie, Bob, Devon and Ricky know what is happening between us. First it was easy to hide our feelings from them although the girls actually knew something plus we told them about what we were feeling, but then, when we started dating, it was very difficult to keep that secret. They all are super excited and happy with the fact that we are a couple, so I'm totally confident with them knowing it and staying in the same room with everybody and because I can hold Aly's hands with mines without worrying. 

“I hope it isn't better than mine” she whispers when I give to her the bag.

Inside the bag there is a small box. I interlace my own fingers waiting to see her reaction. When Aly opens it and see what is inside she covers her mouth with one of her hands. I smile and I get my own necklace indentical as hers. It's a string of silver with a heart hanging down it. I decided to buy two in order to make them as symbol of our love.

“Oh my God” she sighs when she see my necklace.

“I wanted something like this. Something that is a symbol, that represents our love. I want to wear it and feel you by my side even when you are not near to me. Something that has a meaning, do you know what I mean?”

She nods repeatly and hugs me with strength. I put her string in her neck and we kiss another time. Maybe fans could go crazy if they see us with the same necklace, but honestly I don't care, it could be just a friendship symbol, so I don't need to worry about what people think. I'm just take care about our relationship and what we feel and think. It's what I can control, but I can't control anything else.

“Thank you, Eliza. I mean, this is perfect. I love you. And I'm afraid that my gift is not as good as yours, but I want to give you this from the buttom of my heart.”

I know that whatever it is, I'm going to love it. And well, I'm right. It's a envelope red. I frown wondering what it contains and when I see it I have to control myself in order to not scream. Inside there are two papers, but they are not normal. They are two tickets plane for Paris.

“I bought them to go there on January. We both will be free, the fans would be only worrying about the new season and if we take care no one will see us. Just a little trip, you and me in sweet Paris. Do you like it?”

“Oh my God, Aly! How do you ask me that? You know that I totally love that city. Oh my God. I love it!”

“Am I too romantic if I say that I would love to spend our eighth month in the city of love?”

“Shut up” I say and I close the space between us.

 

* * *

 

Alycia POV

This weekend is one of the best one of my entire life. Spending time with Eliza is always amazing but this time is different, kinda special. I mean, I can't still believe that we are together. After that moment in the beach where we started, the things just became fantastic. If she was afraid when she started to have feelings for me, that totally has changed now. She is confident with me but also with herself and that makes me trust in everything. I don't know if we are going on very fast or not, but honestly I don't care. After weeks without knowing what we were feeling and what was going to happen, I think that now we are just focus enjoying all the time together and we keep sharing our love and trying everything we were afraid of.

And I can't be more in love. I just think about Eliza. What to do with her, where to go, what to cook for her, what to buy in order to make her happy, how to make her laugh and smile, how she kisses, how we sleep in the same bed -almost all the time with me hugging her from the back and our fingers interlaced. Feel how she fall asleep in my arms in the most peaceful feeling. Feel her holding my hand gives me chills. Feel her lips catching mines makes a big explosion inside of me. I've never been in love in this way. Everyday I think I can't feeling more love, but at every night I fall in love three more times.

I'm not afraid anymore. With Eliza I am stronger. I am invencible.

I walk inside her room. She is wearing only a big Lakers T-shirt. That one that she knows that drives me crazy. I take a couple of seconds luxuriating watching her naked legs. My cheeks become red and I feel how they are burning my skin. I shake my head smiling and I see that she is focus in something in her mobile phone.

“What are you doing?” I ask walking towards her.

“Nothing!” she yells and hides her phone under the pillows.

“Oh, that's interesting. C'mon Eliza, no secrets between us.”

“No” she refuses and I see her cheeks covered in red.

What the hell she was watching? This all secrecy just makes me more curious so I jump in the bed and fight with her in order to grab her phone.

“It was nothing, I swear!” she says trying with her life apart me from the pillow.

“It is porn?” suddenly I ask and I stop.

“WHAT! NO! I mean, not know but-” she covers her mouth with her hands meanwhile I open mine. “Shit.”

“Do you watch porn?” I ask laughing.

“Don't you?” she reproaches and I shake my head. “Well, don't blame me. I'm too curious.”

“So it's lesbian porn” I have to supress the urge to burst out laughing when her all face become totally red and she nods. 

“I have to be ready” she whispers and hides her head under the pillow so I grab her phone.

“Honey, we both are inexperienced in that matter. I don't know how to do it but when it comes we will be ready and we will learn bit by bit.”

She snarls and looks at me still covering part of her face with the pillow, I just can smile showing my teeth.

“So, what was you watching?”

“Reading, actually.” She takes her phone from my hand and open it. I see a bunch of words in the screen. “I discover it a weeks ago. It's...well, it's us.”

“Us?” I ask openning my eyes.

“Yeah. A group of fans decided to write an story about us, they say that at the beginning. They call us 'elycia' and well, I started reading the story and is really good. Sometimes it describes perfectlly what I feel.”

“Seriously?” She nods and taps the screen in order to go to chapter one. “You know? Is easy to read when it's about you and me falling in love. It's like watching our own story but from an objective perspective.”

“Let me read it” I say.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. I want to read how you fell for me” I laugh and I kiss her. “We can lay in the bed and read it. Is not a bad idea, is it?”

Two hours later I've read every word of the fic while Eliza was caressing my arms, humming songs and kissing my head. I have to admit that is so good and sometimes it is right about us and things that have happened. I think fans sometimes are like detectives or something like that. There are even some analysis of things we have said or writing.

“Oh my God. I want more” I say.

“Me too” she laughs. “But I don't know when they are going to upload. Lately they seem to have some problems or something doing it, although...” she grabs her phone again and look for something. “Read this comment.”

“We are honored to announce that most of the Elycia Squad will be attending the SDCC next week and we will meet the amazing cast of The 100, which includes Alycia and Eliza. It will be an amazing opportunity not only to meet them but to meet ourselves personally. Wish us luck!”

“Oh my! Are they going? Really?” I ask almost excited. Okay, I am.

“Yeah” she smiles. “And I want to meet them.”

“Me too. It's amazing. But how will we know that they are there?”

“I don't know” she shrugs. “But something tells me that we will know at the moment we see them.”

“So, next stop, meeting the Elycia Squad.” I say and I feel a warm inside my chest knowing that we actually have a fanbase. 

We are not alone.


	21. -San Diego Comic Con Part I-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. I’m sorry that I’m late updating lately, but here I am with a new chapter. This one and the next one (I don’t know yet if it’s going to be a 3rd one) are special chapters. As we could see in the last episode, Eliza and Alycia were reading a fanfic (this one) and they found out that the Elycia Squad were going to the Con. So, this next chapters are written not in Alycia or Eliza POV, but in the members of the Elycia Squad POV.
> 
> Please, remember that anything that you are going to read is real. First, we never went to the Con and second, even if we were there, what is going to happen in the fanfic couldn’t have happened. Just enjoy the stuff and let’s see where Eliza and Alycia go in their relationship.

Andrea POV

Days, weeks, months. I don’t know how many time I’ve been waiting for this moment exactly, but finally I’m here. San Diego Comic Con of 2015. One of my biggest dreams since I can remember. I’m from Spain and I came alone, but I’m not that alone for sure. Months ago I created a group with many fans of The 100 and Clexa, so the majority of us is coming today. We all are from many countries around the world and I couldn’t be more excited. Meeting my Internet family and my favourite actors is just incredible.

-Hey, you- someone calls me and I turn my face seeing one of my friends.

-Vic!- I scream and I run in order to hug her-. Oh my God, nice to meet you finally.

We spend a little bit talking about our respective flights and what we have planned to do these days until two other girl join us. They are Elisa and Noémie. Well, another two girls more and we will be ready to enter the con.

-Guys, Lori just texted me. Nat and she are already inside. C’mon! 

When we all are reunited and with all the things to enter the con in our hands, we star walking towards the gate that says “The 100”. We all have the pass that includes photoshoots with the actors as well as autographs and meeting rooms. I will be with Eliza in the same room and I will be able to speak with her. I just can’t wait.

First of all are the panels. We arrived very son so we have the chance to sit next to each other and to speak about everything. The excitement can be seen in our faces, our expressions and even in our voices. We don't stop laughing and taking photos, turning off the phone when they are not needed to no consume battery and asking when they are going to arrive. And suddenly, One of the men of the organizers is up to the podium and we all shout our mouths.

-Good morning, people. Let’s be silent and please welcome this incredible crew. We start off with executive producer Jason Rothenberg- says the man and we all aplausse and cheers when he starts to say the names-. She plays Clarke, Eliza Taylor please-. As it´s expected when she appears we all shout with emotion and I have to contain the urge to scream and run out to hug her-. He plays Bellamy, Bob Morley. She plays Octavia. Please welcome Marie Avgeropoulos. He is not called chanciller anymore but still Jaha, please welcome Isaiah Washington. If you need a mechanic you need to call Raven. Please welcome Lindsey Morgan.

-Oh my God! Have you seen her? Oh my God, oh my God! She’s georgeous- Vic screams and I cover my mouth to not to laugh.

-And- the man continues- last but not least, please welcome who plays Lincoln; Ricky Whittle.

Now it’s me who start to scream when he appears and I have to stay calm when Ricky hugs Marie from the back. Okay, we have started so great. They start to speak about the time jump that is gonna happen in the show, Clarke losing it, Octavia becoming a grounder, Jaha in the house, Raven and her strentgh and Lincoln and his behavour about everything that happens to him and that he never changes. The fans question starts.

What I was hoping the whole time since the finale of season 2 was know if Lexa is or is not coming back to the show. When I started writing the Elycia fanfic I assumed that it was going to happen but if Alycia didn’t get the rol for the new season I will be so disappointed.

However, the answer of that big question is just going to come to my ears and to my camara.

-After the heartbreaking finale of season two, is there any hope of reconciliation between Clarke and Lexa o is the relationship completely shattered?-a fan asks and Vic, Lori, Noémie and I turn in order to see who said that holy question.

-Well, firstable there is a hope for a reconciliation. I supose that there is a hope for reconciliation because Alycia Debnam-Carey is coming back to the show- Jason says and we all, the whole crowd, erupts in shouts of euphoria and applause- So that’s a possibility of course but I think when they come together for the first time there will fireworks in a way we have seen before cause Clarke is pissed.

-Really pissed- Eliza adds-, she really, I mean… she really messed it up. She haven’t a really good thing going. 

-Have you hear that?- I ask trying to not say it too much aloud.

-Clexa is going to happen, mark my words today ladies- Noémie says and I nod.

-We will see more of Alycia, oh my Gosh, I’m so excited- Lori says.

The panel continues. Jason gives us more information about Lexa and then the questions take their place again. I make sure to pay attention not only to what their are saying but how Eliza reacts when someone ask something related to Lexa. I don’t know why but I can see something happening. Eliza seems to be hiding something.

When the panels ends, we all get separated. Noémie and Elisa go to the Fear The Walking Dead thing to meet Alycia. I tell them to try to ask something about Clexa to Alycia if they can and to see how she reacts, while Lori, Nat, Vic and I go to the autographs section.

I only have the Ricky, Marie and Eliza ones, but for me is more tan enough. Ricky is super sweet with me and when he found out that I’m Spanish he tries to speak a little bit on my language. Marie is kinda shy, but her smile is the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen. We talk for a couple of minutes and I give to her some things that my friends that couldn´t come wanted to get them to her. And, finally, it’s my moment with Eliza.

-Hey- she salutes me.

-Oh my God, hi. How are you?- I ask to her feeling that I’m blushing.

-I’m good, how are you doing?- she frowns looking at my pin. The group decided to create a pin with the pride flag and our distinguished name: the Clexa Squad. For a moment I think that she is going to say something to me about it like it’s extremely but instead, she smiles to me.

-Is this from a group?- she points the pin and I nod-. From where are all of you?

-Well, we are an international group- I answer-. From many different contries.

She keeps smiling and I don’t know what to say or to do. Eliza starts to write on the photograph that I gave to her, that actually is Clarke and Lexa. I open my eyes like dishes when I see what she is writing. What? “Nice to meet you, Andrea. Hope you are having fun and keeping update the Elycia fic. We appreciate the support. Kisses, Eliza” She gives to me the autograph and winks to me.

-How do you…? Oh my!

-Shh, now we have two secrets to keep. Can I count with you?

-Yeah, oh my God, of course. I love you, so, so, so much.

-I love you too- she smiles to me again and my heart just stops.

Elycia is real.

 

Vic POV

I get all the autographs that I purchased. I have a little moment with Lindsey before. She was smiling to me the whole time while she was signing me and she said that she likes my outfit that actually is a Raven one. I’m super excited because I have a photoshoot with her and then the meeting room as well. I don’t know if everyone at this point knows about it, but I’m in love with her. I’ve always been in love with her, but now that I´ve had the chance to meet her personally…oh my God, no one knows how pretty and awesome she is.

-See you later, babe- she says to me in the last moment and she bites her lip. I won’t survive this day.

We have a little break to have lunch. I meet the girls in a cafetería into the Comic Con. They all are super excited because of the treat that they have received. Lori had a wonderful moment with Ricky, he spent a considerable time speaking with her, Noémie had such an amazing moment with Alycia. She and Elisa agree that she is a cutie pie, kind and beautiful person and that she has the most perfect smile in the entire world. Nat is excited because of everything that she is experimenting and she fell in love with Rick, Lindsey and Marie several times at this point. In the other hand, we have Andrea that doesn´t stop fangirling because something that she has to tell us when we arrive the hotel but that it’s driving her crazy. It has to be something related to Eliza or maybe Clexa or Elycia.

-Guys! Go to twitter- says Eliza-. They are together! Look at those pics.

-What?- Noémie asks and we all hurry up turning on our phones.

-Eliza and Alycia are together right now near to us- Lori points.

-At what we are waiting for? C’mon guys- Nat says.

We all go outside and try to reach the place where they are. We ask the people around us and that are walking to the opposite direction but nobody knows it. And I have to say that it’s hot today, I mean, we are in the middle of summer so it’s normal, and we are kinda tired because of the flights and the excitement. When we just decide that we are going to abort the mission, something, o rather, someone that we didn’t expected at all, calls us.

-Elycia Squad?- Lindsey ask to us and my mouth opens by itself. I guess that she notices it because she smiles directly to me.

-Yeah- Elisa responds controlling herself because the rest is just too surprised.

-Would you come with me? But you have to promise me to turn off your phones and not to say anything about what is going to happen next.

We all nod looking at each other. Andrea ask me in low voice to pinch her because she can’t belive anything that is happening. We follow Lindsey and we lose the crowd. It seems that no one realize what is happening. Good.

-So, we are here without permission and I guess our time is very short, but they want me to do this so…

Lindsey opens a door and we all cross it. I’m the last one so I have a little but preciuos time to smell her when I pass next to her. I really feel that I’m going to faint sooner or later. When I get Andrea and the others I see in their faces the emotion. Then, I see them. I see Eliza and Alycia.

-Don’t freak out, please- Alycia claims to us.

-We just wanted to meet you in a more personal way, you know?- Eliza continues-. Who writes the fic?

-The Elycia one?- Nat asks and they nod.

We all point Andrea that is just covering her mouth and looking at us like if she is waiting for someone to wake up her or to tell her that this just a bad kind of joke. But no. It’s not. For me, obviously, it’s almost the same. Lindsey is behind me. Very, very, very close. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like electricity emanating from her body and reaching mine.

-I guess you all are very lucky today- she whispers to my ear and I have to clenching my jaw in order to not to scream.

-Well, the story is amazing- Alycia says.

-I’m so sorry if it’s bothering you. It wasn’t my intention- Andrea starts to say but Eliza shakes her head and smiles to her.

-No, honey. We are not pissed, we are just really excited. We like the story. In fact, when we found out that you were coming we started to plan how to meet you. 

-And here is the best part- Lindsey keeps talking to me from my back, whispering every damn word to my ear, getting me shivering and having chills. 

-We want you to join us to dinner tonight if it’s possible- Eliza says-. Only if you want, of course. 

-What?- Lori yells and then the others freak out.

-It has to be a joke. Where are the camaras?- I wonder myself aloud.

Lindsey laughs and I turn to face her. I try to take off the lips to say something but I stay silent. She grabs one of my hands and I start to tremble. She keeps laughing and I laugh with her too because of the nerves. She looks at Alycia and Eliza and nods.

-Well, what do you think about this?

-It’s… I don’t know. How it is even possible?

She shrugs and Ricky suddenly appears from other door.

-Okay, guys, first after the nice to meet you all these pretty faces, try to not scream again. We are here under the secret of summary, and then, it’s almost time to get ready to the meeting rooms, ladies. Hurry up!- Ricky winks and salutes us with his hand before he leaves.

-Look- Alycia starts-, I know that this is crazy and unbelievable. We are doing this because we really want but no one can knows. You can’t tweet about it, or upload a photo or tell someone that could say what is happening. Do you understand? We can get into serious trouble.

-We won’t- Noémie says.

-Yeah, of course we won’t. You can trust us- Andrea adds.

-Yeah, I feel it- Alycia says to us smiling-. So, let’s meet here at 08:00 pm. Please, try to avoid fans and don’t share anything to anyone.

-I promise you we won’t- I say-. You will see- I look at Lindsey and she nods to me.

-Keep calm, at least as much as you can- Lindsey winks to me and I die again-. Can’t wait to spend time with you.

-Can’t wait either- I say.

-You know you are wonderful, right?- Lindsey whispers to me-. All of you, the Elycia Squad.


	22. -San Diego Comic Con Part II-

Nat POV

Since the moment we leave the place where Lindsey took us and we are a few meters away from the door we all, literally, start to scream.

"No" says Elisa. "It's impossible. How we even...?"

"LINDS, OH MY GOD GUYS, I'M DEAD" that was Vic, running in circles covering her head with her hands.

"Did they read the fic? Damn it! I'm so ashamed" Andrea complains.

"What are we going to do?" Lori asks.

"Act normal, bitches" Noémie laughs. "Going there, obviously. This is something that just happens once in life."

"Do you mean once in dreams?" Elisa asks. "I can't function properly right now."

"Girls, we are going tonight, that's for sure. And we can't tell anything to anyone" I say and they all nod. "What we have to do now is going to the photo thing and then to the meeting room. And, like N said, act normal."

We try. I swear we try. But we can't pretend to be normal, like nothing have just happened minutes ago. Vic is the worse of all. She doesn't stop screaming, fangirling and talking about Lindsey, about she has seen something between they both. Elisa and Andrea are talking about how them, Eliza and Alycia, could have found the fanfic. Then, behind me, there is a Lori completely focus on her phone, I guess that she needs some distraction, and then is Noémie that is talking with someone in French on her phone. We all seem to be nervous, walking too fast and with bigs smiles in our faces that can't be erased.

"So, send us a message when you finish" Elisa says grabbing Noémie's arm and pulling her to the FTWD place.

"Who else have the meeting room with Alycia?" Vic asks.

"That's me" Lori says. "But after Eliza's photoshoot."

"Then, we must be running right now if we want to get there at time" Andrea says and she leaves us inmediately.

We follow her across the people. The line is already done, but we, fortunately, are close. We decide that Lori will be the first of us because she has to fly to other part by the minute she takes the photos. While we are waiting we read and replay all the messages that the rest of our group have been sending the whole morning. They are as much excited as sad. I would totally love to meet the few ones, but not least important, that couldn't come here this time. Maybe next year the whole family can be united. And then we laugh when we enter on Twitter and we find out that Clexa fans are going totally crazy about what Jason said on the panel about Lexa coming back to the show and the pics that someone has posted about Eliza and Alycia.

"If they only knew..." Vic says.

Lori finishes her turn. She tries to keep calm, but that nervous smile doesn't disappear. We all are the same. A funny thing that happens is that Eliza says something to her ear when they are preparing themselves for the camara and she has to cover her mouth with her hands. The photographer takes the photo and I swear I wish I was recording the moment because their faces after that are poems, however, they repeat the photo and everything keeps going perfect.

It's my turn. Ricky is so tall. I bite my lip and I get close to him.

"Nervous?" he asks and I nod. "Don't be, at least not until tonight."

"Will you be there?" I ask quickly because I know that our time is too short. Ricky just nods and smiles. He kisses me in the cheek and the camera takes the moment.

I'm dead.

The next photoshoot I have is the Eliza one. When she sees that I'm getting close, a big smile appears in her face and I do the same. She opens her arms and catches me when I'm by her side. I guess that many people are hating on me right now, but I swear I couldn't be in a better place. I hug her back and the camera freezes the moment. When I think that this is gonna be the end, for now, Eliza hugs me again with more force and says to me:

"Sorry about the ambush, but we didn't know how to meet you privately. I mean, without other's eyes pointing us."

"No, please, don't apologize, I'm speaking for all of us when I say that this is like a dream."

"Then wait for what is coming tonight" she winks and my heart skips a bit.

-Ladies, please, the line has to continue- a member staff of the convention says to us and I have to leave her.

I finish for now. I see Andrea having her photoshoot with Ricky. The smile on her face shows me that they have been speaking about something related to whatever is going to happen tonight, and on the other hand, Vic is already taking her photo with Lindsey. The actress kisses Vic in the cheek, maybe a little bit close to her lips, and the they both hug each other. My friend leave that zone with a twinkle in her eyes that could illuminate San Diego.

"She's amazing. I swear I'm in love with her" she says to me almost screaming.

"Girl, calm down" Andrea says but obviously she is in the same way or even worse than Vic." Eliza. She's... I don't know. But she is..." they both sigh at the same time and I just laugh.

"Well, what is now?" I ask looking for the scheduble.

"We can go to the next panel and wait for our meeting romos" Vic proposes.

The three of us go back to the panel room. Ricky, Bob, Jason and Marie are talking and answering some fans's question. The girls are talking in the group. They are going to have the meeting room with Alycia in a few minutes and they are so excited. Vic leaves Andrea and I when they call all the people that have the meeting room with Linds and finally, when I've just decided get up and ask something to Marie, the staff call us to go to Eliza's meeting room.

We are excited and nervous, just like everyone, but it feels different now. We've already meet them, not in an official way, but we had the chance to meet them face to face and share some words. Plus, knowing that this night we are hanging out, makes this like the prefix menu. We arrive the room the last ones. Everyone is already on here except for the star. We are like 20 people. Unfortunately, Andrea and I can't sit together, so we try to find a place where we will be able to see each other if it's necessary. Eliza arrives 5 minutes later. She keeps smiling the whole day, no matters what. I bet what is my friend thinking; that Eliza's happiness has a name.

"Well, what I see?" Eliza starts." How are you?"

All of us say at the same time that we are great.

"I'm so glad hearing that. Well, what we have here? Are you all from USA?" and she looks at me.

Not everyone is from the USA. Many people don't live even in San Diego. One is from Canada, Andrea is from Spain, two guys are from Mexico, then there is a group of four people from Miami, others are from Texas and New York, and then it's me.

"Wow, that's amazing. It's incredible knowing that many of you pay a lot of money coming here just to meet us. I don't know if we deserve it" Eliza says.

The fans start to look at each other. We all are thinking about the line that Clarke says to Lexa. Eliza seems to realize it and she laughs.

"So, how many people of you ship Clexa?"

It is not necessary that anybody raises the hand or that one for one we answer, when she makes the question, we all speak at the same time saying that of course, that is the best ship, that Clexa is one of the best things of the show. Then a girl dares to ask:

"Is there any real chance to them to be into a relationship?"

"I don't" Eliza tries but then she shakes her head. " You know? I'm not suppose to give to you any information about the new season. Jason will kill me, but..." she swallows and then she nods.

We almost get our asses kick off the room because all the screams that we share about this new information.

"Guys, guys" Eliza laughs. "Calm down. The relationship will grow up, it's all I know for now and it's what I can say about the whole thing I cannot say."

"But, is Lexa going to die?" one of the Mexican guys asks.

"I can't say yes or no. I really don't know. But you guys already now how this show is. No one is safe this season, and when I say no one is no one. Maybe I fall too."

"What? No way" Andrea says. "Clarke can't die. C'mon is the soul of the show."

I look at her almost to laugh. She seems to be so disappointed.

"That's what I always say" Eliza comments and make everyone finally laugh.

We spend a little time talking or trying to make Eliza talk about the new season. She really can't say anything, what's more, she just has read some script because they didn't record that much and she barely know what is going to come. After that, we all have the opportunity of asking Eliza some ramdom question and she also wants to know about us. The times passes so quickly and we say goodbye. I would probably want to cry myself in a corner if I didn't know that this is not the last time I'm going to see her.

"Now what?" Noémie asks when we all are reunited again in a hall.

"I guess we should go to the hotel and get ready for tonight" Elisa says. "And get chocolate. Please. I need chocolate."

I laugh and Lori gives to her a sweet that she had in her bag.

"You're welcome."

We catch a couple of taxis and we go to our hotel. In about three hours, we will meet Elycia in a way that anybody has done it before.

 

Elisa POV

"No. No. Either" I'm throwing every clothes that I pick from my suitcase. "No." 

"Just pick anything. You're gonna be pretty whatever you wear" Noémie says to me but I shake my head.

"I need to be perfect. It's them. If I only knew this..."

"Don't worry about your clothes, I don't think they are going to be that fancy."

"Why not?" I ask looking at her and keeping a black short dress in my hands.

"Because they are famous people. They need to seem that they are normal, like us. Don't worry, El."

I snort and I get my things to the bathroom in order to prepare myself. After a long time inside, my roomate knocks the door.

"Give me 5 more minutes" I ask for.

"Hurry up! I need to get ready too" she complains.

I spend a couple of minutes more inside the bathroom finishing preparing myself. When I open the door and Noémie looks at me, she smiles while she nods.

"I told you. You're pretty just the way you are" she enters in the bathroom and I shake my head rolling my eyes.

I sit in my bed and I turn on the phone. There is a million of messages. I replay every single chat and then I open the Elycia Squad group. The girls are talking and acting normal. The oath that we made early it's being respeted even between us. I'm almost sure that we can tell to the rest of the group what happened today and they will shut up their mouths, but we need to be careful.

"N, hurry up. Nat and Lori are already ready and Andrea and Vic will be in a few minutes. "I hear her complaining and I laugh, however she opens the door-. Hey, you are pretty too."

We all meet in the hall of the hotel. I have to be honest, maybe none of us knew that we was going to meet Elycia and a part of the cast of the TV show in this way, but somehow we all are so pretty for tonight. It's 07:30 pm, so we have the enough time to go again to the convention thing. However, when we arrive, there are still people coming out. We wait patiently.

"What we are supposed to do?" Lori asks.

"Keep waiting" Nat answers.

"We are in time, right?" Andrea asks.

"Yes" I say. "Maybe they are waiting where we met the first time."

"But we can't pass now, they should know it" Noémie replays.

"LINDS" Vic shouts. "I see her, look!" she points someone far away from us. " It's she."

"Let's go" I say.

"No, wait. She's not moving" Andrea looks around. "I think she's waiting until everyone is gone." 

"Two o three of us can go and ask" Lori proposes. "Who is with me?"

"Me" I say quickly.

"Don't you dare to leave me here and go to talk with Lindsey. I'm going" Vic says.

We three leave the rest of the group and go to talk with Lindsey. At first time, she does something with her hands, like if she wanted to tell us to stop and don't keep walking, but then she moves and she does a gesture in order to follow her.

"Hey, we thought it was going to be free by this time but no, as you can see" she says when no body can see us.

"Nevermind" I say. "Maybe we can meet in other place."

Linds smiles to us and shakes her head.

"Call the rest of the group, we are going to a restaurant in limousine" she winks.

"What? Are you serious?" Lori asks surprised but Lindsey nods. "Oh my God."

Nat, Noémie and Andrea appear five minutes later without believing what is going on. We follow the actress until we reach other street. And yeah, there it is. A black limousine. Linds enters the first one. We all look at each other. I don't think that being afraid is properly to say what we are feeling right now. It's a mix of feelings; we are excited, nervous, surprised and even in shock.

"I'll go" N says and enters.

"After you" Nat says to Vic.

They both enters and only two of us are still in the street. Andrea sighs and I nod. She enters as well. Then, I enter in the limousine. It's big. Very big. And dark. My heart is beating so fast right now, but when I see Eliza, Alycia, Ricky, Linds and Marie sit in front of me, the world stops. I look at my friends and I smile. I smile because we dreamed about something like this, meeting our idols, many time ago, during months. I smile because I remember the feeling when the six of us decided to go to the San Diego Comic Con and how we all were on Skype buying the passes at the same time just to be next to each other in the event. I smile because I know what they are thinking. This seems to be impossible, but it's happening. It's something that we didn't planned, it's something what we didn't think about, but here are we. And it feels so good.

"Thai food" Eliza says. "Please."

We all laugh. We have been talking a little bit during the last ten minutes. About food, obviously. I think we all knew that the blonde woman has an addiction to food, but it's so much more than that. Finally, we chose the type of the restaurant, so now we are going to there. Then Lori asks a few questions related to the set and that. It's amazing the way the actors are talking to us, like if we were friends of all life.

The restaurant is far away. Eliza picks that one because she and Alycia have been there before and there are less people than in other restaurants, and what is more important, she knows the owner and he does favors to her, like we have a big table just for us in an empty VIP place that he prepared for us.

I look at the menu. It seems to be a delicius food. I order the same as Andrea, and Noémie and Vic decide to share a couple of dishes. The actors know very well what they want so they are quick. I look and Ricky secretly, but he was looking at me so he smiles to me.

"Where are you from?" he asks.

"Portugal" I say.

"Wow, that's amazing. I would like to travel to there."

"And then you can come to Spain" Andrea adds and I roll my eyes.

"No! You guys need to come to Argentina. You all are invited to my house, I swear" Vic says and I roll my eyes again.

"So, what are you doing guys? Do you study or work?" Marie asks.

"Both" Nat says shruging.

"I study, but I want to work as soon as possible" Andrea answers.

"Well, you can write" Eliza says to her. "Have you thought about publishing?"

I see how my friend blushes in a second and before I'm able to think two times, I speak for her.

"One day. We have been speaking about that. She's good and I know she will be a great writer."

"In that case, come with us to the set and write the damn script" Linds murmurs and Alycia looks at her shaking her head. I frown. Shit. Something big is gonna happen in The 100.

I'm going to ask about that, and I'm sure that at least one of us realized what just happened, but Andrea realeses a bomb that catch me by surprise and I shout my mouth.

"I'm not the only one in here, I write, yes, but Nat, for example, can draw and very well. It's amazing. And then" she looks at me and smiles. "Elisa has such a beautiful voice. She sings awesomely."

"Oh, really?" Alycia asks looking at me.

I shake my head. I don't want to be the focus of the conversation right now.

"Oh, yeah" Vic says. "Actually, I think I have an audio in my phone. Let me che-"

"No way!" I scream. "No Victoria, don't you dare."

"Oh my God! She called you Victoria" Andrea says laughing. "This is serious, dear friend."

"Elisa" calls me Noémie when I finish looking at Vic wanting to kill her. "Why don't you bless us singing something?"

I open my mouth until my jaw is in the floor. I'm going to kill them when we are in the hotel. Oh my God. 

"Yeah, sing something El"- Nat supports but I refuse.

"C'mon" Lori continues.

"No"I say. "Guys, please."

"Hey, we will be a good jury. I promise" Linds says and she winks.

Shit.

"We are in family now, honey. Sing to us" Eliza asks for and I know that I have no escape.

"I'll kill you" I say to my friends but they laugh.

"La ventana, El, remember la ventana" Vic says and I finally laugh with them feeling a little bit less nervous.

"So, what song do you want?" I ask hoping that they choose something easy.

"One of yours, E" Noémie says and I nod.

Here we go. I know I can do this. It's not the first time I sing in front of a group of people. Okay, I've never sang in front of actors, in front of my idols, but well, I think we joked about this one day. Maybe someone out there really listens to us. I catch my breathe and I close my eyes. The first notes start to leave my thorat and the place suddenly is invaded by my voice. It's sounds good. Very good. I keep going with a couple of stanzas and then I open my eyes and stop. Alycia is looking at me with her mouth completely open, Ricky is so impressed. Everyone is clapping.

"Oh my" Alycia starts. "I love your voice. I love you!" And I die right here and right now.

"Can you sing to us another one?" Marie asks.

They like it. They all. Vic and Andrea are looking at me like saying that they told me, and the rest of my friends are still clapping. I nod. Although I'm nervous, I know I can offer a better song now because I'm more secure. So I get up and I start to sing again. First, one of the song of my band and then Love Me Like You Do. When I start singing this song, I hear Vic almost dying somewhere and then they all suddenly scream. I open my eyes and I see what's going on. Eliza is kissing Alycia. They are holding her hands over the table. I don't stop. Something inside of me says that they are kissing because the song. They are kissing because of me.

I finish the song. They clap to me again and I do a little revence while smiling. We keep fangirling about the kiss even if they are just in front of us. But they both are super cool right now. They are happy, still holding their hands, looking at each other and laughing and smiling. Vic, that is next to me, hugs me and whispers to my ear thank you. I feel so good right now, like if I had a million of butterflies flying through my veins.

We eat, drink and laugh. Eliza and Alycia ask some question about the fic to Andrea. They three are so inside in their conversation that forget that we are here. However, Ricky starts to tell some stories about him, and then Linds starts to talk about her life before being an actress. I don't know how, Vic and she start another conversation just between they both. So Noémie and I end up speaking with Marie about some things of the set. After a while, maybe one hour or more, we are full. They want another siog, so I start to sing again, but this time, Eliza joins me, later Marie does the same and finally the whole group ends up singing with me.

"What a beautiful night" Alycia says. "I don't want this to get over."

"Me neither" her girlfriend, insert in here screams, says.

"It's a pitty that this has to end in here" Ricky adds.

"Who said that this has to end now?" Linds asks and looks at Vic biting her lip. "I know a place. Who wants to come?"


End file.
